by sunshine and stars » Tue Aug 03, 2010 4:29 pm
BFK-- I read your post and man, oh man, do I get what you are saying. It is such a hard thing to contemplate-- do you go ahead with IVF? or do you stop and pursue other options and dreams? For my husband and I, we pretty much decided that I only had a few years to try and that nature would determine an ending point -- with or without. But we also had insurance, and that definitely factored in, at least after we knew that IVF was our only option. (We are not good candidates for adoption because of my husband's age) It is a roller coaster-- and even though I was able to get pregnant this round, we really aren't confident yet that I will carry to term.
Listen to your heart. The best advice that I heard from someone was to remember that whatever you decide, your life will be fuller, richer, and more beautiful than you can ever imagine-- with or without a child. Some days I believe that, and other days, I have to re-convince myself.
Also-- someone once suggested that when you decide something-- give yourself a week or two to practice "living out" that decision in your mind. In other words, live a week with the decision to go ahead with IVF (in your mind) and then feel what that is like. For another week or so, live with the decision not to have children -- or to pursue other options. Which decision, after the week is through, brings you greater peace and joy?
I don't know if this will help you-- but I truly hope that you find comfort and peace in just sharing and being able to vent. And you are not alone on this crazy journey.
Me: 40 (no children)
DH: 65
Using donor sperm, my egg
6 IUI's (m/c after 2nd IUI @ 11 weeks)
1st IVF-BFP-1st beta 586
second beta 1449
8 week scan ok so far!
EDD 3-20-2011