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need to vent! very bad day

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need to vent! very bad day

Postby kira099 » Wed Jun 27, 2018 9:44 pm

I did not get much sleep last night. I was very tired. Then I got my periods this morning… I was actually ok because I had been expecting it to come, but still each time it sucks. Then I got to work to find my co-worker just beaming, and she said she was pregnant AGAIN and it was a total unplanned surprise! In that moment I almost started crying. I stopped myself and had to continue stopping myself periodically for the rest of the day. I have been trying since way before she had her last baby. I did fine during her last pregnancy and birth because I was still very hopeful for myself. But lately it just feels like I won't ever get there. I don't really want her to be miserable like me. I don't want anyone to be miserable like me. I was just feeling emotional this morning because of...everything. Anyone had a day like that lately? What do you do when you feel like that?
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Re: need to vent! very bad day

Postby Vikky » Wed Jun 27, 2018 9:48 pm

The pressure to raise a family can be enormous, and the thought of not being able to have children can make many people feel something is wrong with them. A fertility problem may be one of the most difficult challenges you'll ever face. It's normal to feel a monumental sense of loss, to feel stressed, sad, or overwhelmed. Don't chastise yourself for feeling this way. Facing and accepting your emotions can help you move through them. If you're always putting up a brave front, others won't understand what you're going through, and you'll feel even more alone. It can be helpful to sort out your thoughts and feelings by writing them down in a journal first, and then sharing whatever feels comfortable with trusted friends or family. Resist the temptation to get angry with yourself or listen to the little voice in your head that says negative things like, "I shouldn't have waited. I'm being punished for terminating that pregnancy. I should have lost more weight or taken better care of my health. I shouldn't have assumed that I could have children whenever I wanted." People can get caught in negative thinking patterns that only make matters worse. Instead of berating yourself, look forward to how you are going to manage the situation. When you start feeling like you "should have" or "could have," remind yourself that your fertility problem is not your fault. Even if you could have made different decisions in the past, they're behind you. Focus on the present. Find out as much as you can about your fertility issue. Ask your doctor questions and talk to other people in your situation. Society often fails to recognize the grief caused by infertility. So people struggling to conceive tend to hide their sorrow, which only increases feelings of shame and isolation. Finding other people who are going through the same thing can help you see that fertility problems are widespread and your disappointment is understandable. You made the right thing coming here! I’m sure you’ll find support and understanding on this board!
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Re: need to vent! very bad day

Postby JessicaJJ » Wed Jun 27, 2018 9:50 pm

I can totally relate!! Not too long ago my little sister told me she was pregnant with baby #2. I also started trying prior to her first one. Surprise Surprise! She was not trying for either. This just sent me through the roof. As time went on it got a little better. But now she is starting to show and it is starting to bother me again. So many girls I know got pregnant without trying or on the first try. I'm just frustrated. I get so frustrated sometimes, but then I also realize how lucky I am to have such wonderful husband. The only thing that helps is to vent to my DH and all my pals here! I just had a talk with DH yesterday (who has been very supportive). We both are being very hopeful. We're supposed to see the RE soon and we'll take it from there. We are willing to do whatever it takes to have our baby.Just remember we are all here for you! Sticky baby dust to all!
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Re: need to vent! very bad day

Postby Estellla » Wed Jun 27, 2018 9:52 pm

Hi! I can relate. Every one of my friends has been popping up pregnant. It is so hard. I am trying to come to terms that it may not happen for me. I’ve cried at work. I’ve cried in the car. I’ve cried in front of friends. I’ve cried in front of family. I’ve cried in front of strangers. You name it. But I am done crying. I’m tired of being depressed each minute of my life. I’m done being miserable. If I don't have kids, then I will still be happy. I’ll do things that I never thought of doing. I’ll travel places I didn't think I would go. I know how you feel...It's like we are in Limbo... Just waiting for something to happen and not really getting on with our lives. I am trying to come to peace with all of this and I think I'm doing better mentally. I know this may not help, but sometimes I think maybe God has a different plan for me. He knows how much love me and DH have and maybe he wants us to go dipper. Maybe we should turn to adoption or surrogacy. If you think about it... If that doesn't work, I try to think of the sleepless nights I would have, the never ending worry that occurs when you are a parent. I want to hold a little baby in my arms too one day… But I am not going to let it control my life anymore. One more thing... I know that parents wouldn't give up their kids for anything, but when I am around my sister and she has her two toddler boys and one in the oven… She looks at me very enviously coming and going, having a few cocktails, traveling around on the weekends, no attachments. There are goods and bads to every situation. Enjoy the good now!
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Re: need to vent! very bad day

Postby enawatson » Thu Oct 04, 2018 8:29 am

I am new here

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