Souris...Maldives!! I'm not sure why, but I never heard of it until I plugged it into Google Images...Oh my Gosh! It's beautiful! I always dreamed of Turtle Island in Fiji, but I think I've just changed my mind! To actually go to that dream location would be...well, for lack of better words, a DREAM! It will be such a good thing for you two if you can have a belated Honeymoon and time to get back to you and your marriage. This whole IVF consumes so much of our time, energy, and emotions that to get a break is not just wanted but NEEDED...
I am so sorry for you on your loss sweetie...That's got to be even harder being right on the cusp of getting past that first trimester hurdle. I shouldn't be reminding you and talking about it. Sorry... A loss is sad, but it's now time for looking ahead and moving forward. I like how you said you've "decided" to have PMA. That's awesome. We all definitely need a ton of that around here. I hope to see you in February hon...I know you could help me for sure. You're a pro at this. Hey! Maybe with the honeymoon some magic will happen and you won't need that fourth round! How's dh doing? Do you still have some of his little guys on ice, or will he have to have another procedure this time? I hope for him, not! That's got to be so painful for them, too. Especially with the location!
It's so good to hear from you again, and I will be looking for the news on your honeymoon...And I want tons of pictures too!! I know I'll never make it there, so will have to live vicariously through you my dear...
Jessica...Got your myspace address, but work has it blocked, so I sent it home and will take a peak tonight. I need to get pictures on mine. I changed my URL address to include my last name, cause all other variations of my name were used up. Anyway, my husband said that's not smart out there. So, I've changed mine to private, and sent you the invite. I think I ended up sending it twice, so forgive if I did. Oh! You had asked on the other board what was with the "whale penis" talk...Well, I kept saying goofy stuff, so called myself a "dork". Then, I proceeded to share that I had recently learned there was another definition for dork, and it's actually a whale penis!
So, instead of calling myself a dork, I started saying I was being a "whale penis"...Truth is I just like saying the word "penis". Not quite sure why, but think it's a funny word and not used nearly enough.
Hey! Guess what?! I'm being a whale penis again!!
Tammy...I'm so glad to hear you have your follow-up appointment all set. I know you're needing answers dear. My husband has a pretty negative view of doctors in general and frequently says, "They are only PRACTICING medicine." The truth is though, which my RE admitted, there are mysteries behind conception that they just don't have the answers to yet. IVF is a relatively new field, and it's difficult to monitor conception with all the variables and them happening in an environment that doesn't allow for examination without compromising the very elements that might be part of what makes it work. I hope hubby can forgive the doctor, but you both definitely deserve his time. My RE spent over an hour on the phone with me, and another two in his office (with no charge, as this was part of the program). I felt like that was an honorable thing to do, and the doctor was really honest with me, and I regained trust in him after talking to him. Your doctor sounds like he has a good track record, right? Have you pulled up the clinic's CDC report? I can show you how to find that if you'd like. It's only updated to 2003 right now, but helps you see what their stats are compared to the national level. Not exactly fair, as there are a lot of variables behind those numbers, but it helps give you an idea of they are within the norm or have extremely poor numbers.
Anyway, I do know that the next round is less expensive regardless of my situation. But, in addition to that reduction, I talked with the business manager at my clinic and she will be going over the new rates for the upcoming year with the board. She said during that same meeting she would present my case to see if there are any additional discounts they can provide. I know everyone at my clinic was just as devastated at my results as I was. They all looked at me so sadly it made me want to start crying again. I wanted to go in there educated, strong and wanting answers, and left a human again. They are human too, and have faults, but they also have hearts. I so hope they support you in another round. If for no other reason than to give you answers. I know where you are coming from, and know exactly your fears and frustrations. I hate that it happened to either of us, but to have it happen along side someone else made things a little less painful. I felt so alone when I couldn't find anyone else that this happened to. So, I just wanted to thank you for being here for me...And to be another Wisconsinite is even better!
You hang in there, and I know things will find a way of working themselves out. You have a great dh who is hurting too. Just keep communications open and don't forget to cuddle in bed. That always helps. I think he wants his distance, but as soon as I start spooning with him, I can tell he's comforted by me being there for him too. I'm not sure if it would help, but if your dh needs someone to talk to, I'm sure my dh would be willing. Sometimes to see their counterparts and talk is just as therapeutic as it is for us to talk to our cohorts. Just let me know if he'd be interested or get any value out of it.
Oh my gosh!
Look at this post...I didn't mean to be so darn long winded. On the other hand, when have I ever not been?!