Sorry, but I can't stop giggling inside little me... did you call it a DILDOCAM?
LOL and I looked for a proper term, oh GOSH you just gave it to me! I must tell that to the next doc who does an ultrasound with me... hehehe Jan 25th or 26th! "Is it the dildocam you're using inside me doctor?"
That being said, no, you don't sound bitter at all, and yes, I totally understand what you mean, just like the other lovely ladies who posted in this thread. Be careful, though, about putting people in fertile-infertile teams... for at the beginning of my process, my best support came from... fertile couples!
My best friend offered me to postpone her baby plans until I got pregnany just so she would not potentially stick a baby belly under my nose (I refused of course, but I was touched; she was actually serious! and her sweet DH was okay with that!). Other friends totally understood my loss, some of those with kids.
I was barely recovering from surgery when an acquaintance, the gf of one of my DH's colleagues, asked me how I was doing and what were the results of the surgery. Told her my story, and that we were headed straight to IVF. And my tone was matching my emotions; grave. Get the hint, sweetie. Well... she told me, "I hope you realize just how lucky you are!"
Turns out she and and her bf had been ttc for 9 months, without any results. They had been checked and had no reason to believe they have fertility issues. But she was enraged because she was still not pregnant and her doctor, because she's only 24, insisted that they had to wait at least 12 months before they did further investigations or tried other techniques (like giving her meds). She was envious of me because I knew exactly what was going on in my body and because I had a precise course of action to follow.
I can understand that. But she has not been declared infertile yet. Each month, when she tries to have that baby, she still gets to try FOR FREE! And PAIN FREE! And CLINIC FREE!
*sigh* I pity her... I think they're still unsuccessful... with all the new preggies among my DH's co-workers (no less than 4 this year), I would have known.
And the other one, ha, he was an IVF too! They tried 3 times, but had three BFNs. They are now the proud parents of a lovely Chinese girl. When I told him I was going to try IVF, his face just fell and became somber and sinister. He told me very bitterly, "You should go straight to adoption. IVF is such an emotional process..." Only after did he tell me they were both in their forties when they tried. Only after did he realize that I was only 27 and our situations could not possibly compare. Did he ever realize that I had the right to give it as many tries as possible before even thinking about adoption?
Yes, people are insensitive. People make comments, they don't think. However, you know... we, IVF-ers, probably are all insensitive to other people's problems, just because they're different than our own. Some people with terminal cancer could tell us that we have little to complain about compared to them. A wife with an abusive husband and three kids might still not understand what we're complaining about. I think it's just human to think that your problems are bigger than your neighbor's just because... well, you're the one having the problem!
My two cents... gotta run to my next client.
BIG BEAR HUGS TO YOU ALL! RAISE THE SHIT SHIELD LADIES, AND KEEP HOPING!