Do you feel like everyone is getting pregnant except you?

Discussion group for all topics related to infertility including preparation for pregnancy, causes, investigation and treatment of infertility.
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meg12
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Post by meg12 » Thu Jan 11, 2007 8:45 pm

Mandy--You stole the words out of my fingers! Every emotion we have going through this crazy thing is legit...And as we all know, we go through them all (sometimes within an hour!!!)

That's great that you can take time off from work--it sounds like you need it. My job isn't stressful at all, so luckily it's not really a factor (although I would love to get pg and quit this job to stay home with the babe---sometimes I think that's my main motivation for getting pregnant...I'm sick of work! :wink: )

Sassy--Hope you have/had a safe and fun trip. Starting a new thread is a great idea, although this one is pretty damned fun (can I say that on here or will it get edited???). I hope other people realize we're not trying to take them over to the dark side--in fact, I'm rarely in the dark side myself. But there are times when a good rant feels darned good, and I don't think there's anything wrong with realistic expectations.

Well, I suppose I should go do something productive. Have a great day (or evening--depending on what part of the world you're on!)
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NickiMark
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Post by NickiMark » Thu Jan 11, 2007 8:53 pm

My dh's friends g/friend is preg with her 4th kid, now she emailed me y'day to tell, i was mad!!

A 4th accident, i dont believe it at all, she fell preg when her dr changed her pill, it was during the change over. I dont get it....

she's a cow, and so insensitive to me!!!

x x
TTC 6yrs......Have jumped off the rollercoaster for now, too many BFN's and too much heartache, to keep going....Moving on to fulfil other dreams!!!
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meg12
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Post by meg12 » Thu Jan 11, 2007 9:09 pm

Nicki--That's the absolute worst. And she emailed you to tell you? She is a cow. How insensitive. Isn't it amazing how some people have absolutely no concept of human decency and emotions? Blah.
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sassynlv
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Post by sassynlv » Thu Jan 11, 2007 9:25 pm

Hi girls... so my "Cold turkey off the forums" lasted hmmmm.... all of about 2 hrs (and that's because i have been on a plane the whole time :D !). But now waiting in the Salt Lake airport for my BIL, and what is a girl to do... but check in on her favorite thread???!!! So here i am.

I spent the whole time worrying my last post sounded snarkey, sorry if it did (btw, what the h@ll is wrong w/me :wink:???). ANYWAY... i totally concur, Meg... this is a d@mn good thread! You guys have kept me going for the last wk!

Nickimark: oooo, i think "cow" and "insensitive" are GREAT words in this situation! How hard that must be to have gotten that phone call. The 4th accident??? i'm sorry, but how does someone have FOUR accidents??? I was skeptical when my sister had one (that is of her FIVE kids), but FOUR??? I would be tempted to hate my sister if i didn't love her so much.... 5 kids and only once had to try a second month to get preg. Where the h@ll did i come from (oh, and that is just the beginning of my family's fertility... don't get me started :D ). What do we do???? I guess vent here!!! :D

amanda: oh, no, i am not going anywhere. Just thinking in order to avoid misunderstandings in the future, maybe we should also have a place where it is very clear from the outset what the expectations of the thread are... just the musings of an internet forum addict :D . Oh, and good for you w/the sabbatical! I did the same thing, and then decided even after a year not to go back. What do you do that you would be in contact w/ "measles, chicken pox and other nasty little viruses"?? i work in the health care field so i am very curious! oh, also, tell your dh he is "the man"! i am impressed that he would be willing to do the show to help others out... very cool.

meg: oh, meg. I too, hope others don't find us to be an intentionally negative influence. In general, i am finding we aren't... but then i consider myself to be horribly biased in this situation :wink: .

oh, guys, the whole "everything we are going through" discussion.... have some input on that, but not long enough to write it now... will do so when we get to the house (yep, i think i have officially ended my Cold Turkey time... 2 hrs should do it, right???---- well, i'll stay off the rest, just not this one, this is too fun! heeheehee). oooh, bil here, must run... chat soon
6 fresh IVFs plus one cancelation
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meg12
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Post by meg12 » Thu Jan 11, 2007 10:01 pm

Woo-hoo! Glad you're back, sassy! We missed ya :wink:

My whole family is fertile to the max, as well. Luckily, I'm the oldest child so I don't have any nieces or nephews but my cousins can't stop breeding. Seriously, I have a 23 year old cousin and she just gave birth to her 3rd child. WTF. I can't help but hate her a little (and sometimes a lot). My sister-in-law has a 2-year-old and is pregnant with her second, but they live in Florida so I never see them. So, holidays and what not aren't too painful since there are no little ones running around.
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amanda-jane
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Post by amanda-jane » Fri Jan 12, 2007 10:58 am

nicky that is so insensitive of your fertile friend, it just makes you think why me? then you start beatin yourself up and feeling guilty(well i usually do) anyway don't, you may need some time away from her while ou calm down :
sassy: great to have you back, i'm an RN in a walk in center, i think you have somethin similar in the states, anyway we have lots of parents bringing ill children with yucky little viruses etc. what do you do?
i don't think we're being negative we're just talking about how we feel an if people think thats not ok tough!
my 18 year old brother in the states got his girlfriend pregnant accidentally after about 6 weeks! they were told to get married by her parents!!, but that was really hard for me when we went over in november, it just seemed really unfair, but i had to be positive with them because everyone has raelly given them a hard time for being irresponsible cos they're so young and i didn't want to do that i wanted to be the person that they felt wasn't being negative to them. at the end of the day i'm just jealous cos i wish it were me and i couldn't really tell anyone how i felt. :( the good thing is i've aquired a new sister in law and although she's young she's really sweet :)
yeah i think the tv programme is going ahead the producer called us yesterday, i was more bothered about gettin my hair done!! how sad am i? dh told be i was being ridiculous as this is a serious programme... but i am a female at the end of the day.. oh dear i sound like a real idiot! 8)
anyway girls speak later xx
a.j.hewlett

sassynlv
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Post by sassynlv » Fri Jan 12, 2007 3:29 pm

hi girls... yeah dealing w/fertile family can be hard! You love them, and want them to have kids, but especially when they are "accidents", i think it is very natural (although not fun) to have feelings of jealousy. my sil/bil who we are very close to and live near us, got preg w/twins their first month trying (child #3 and #4 for them) after we had started IF tmt. owww! Now don't get me wrong, i consider their 4 kids MY 4 kids, and take them everywhere, and love them like you wouldn't believe... but it still hurts sometimes. I have a total of 14 nieces and nephews. i may have told this story before... so sorry if i did... but my mom had some sort of malignant cysts right after they were married and they had to remove her ovaries. She begged them to leave her anything they could... so they did a 10hr surgery and were able to tease out and leave 1/3 of one ovary.. told her she would probably never get preg... she had 4 kids (including a set of FRATERNAL twins at the age of 31). shhhesh, talk about fertile! As a result, would have NEVER guessed i would be infertile :( .

amanda- I worked as a RN for a couple of years (but i worked psych and cardio) before going to medical school (i am an internal medicine doctor... but not really practicing much right now). I can imagine working w/kids in a walk-in, you are exposed to a viral soup everyday! Sounds like a good choice to take time off since you can... as for your hair... i am not a "girly girl", but i think i would have the same reaction :D

Had a bit of a scare last night...don't have good cell coverage on the mountain, so when we got back from a quick night skiing, i had a messge from the fertility center that my bw was ok, i should continue my estrace, but that i need to add my estrogen patches starting today. this was a problem as they are at home!!!! so called RE (hate doin' that... esp being an MD... never liked getting calls in the evening...) and he is fab! He always acts like what else does he live for, but to answer my phonecalls?!! :D i am very lucky in that regard. he got it all worked out for me... get this (i hadn't heard of it before), i do my estrogen tablets intravaginally. He said the absorption is so much better, that instead of 3 times a day, i only do the 2 tabs 2 times a day, and he said that would probably give me even more absorption than the pills orally plus the patches. hmmmm.

Anyway, 6 new inches of snow here overnight... sprinkling still coming down now.. should be great skiing! now that i have written (another) novel, it is time to hit the slopes. Hope everyone has a fantastic day!
6 fresh IVFs plus one cancelation
Last Chance FET--- Pregnant with triplets!
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meg12
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Post by meg12 » Fri Jan 12, 2007 6:22 pm

Sassy--Crazy...intervaginally, huh? That's so weird, but awesome too. I like that you can call your doctor at home--I dont' think I could (don't have her number for one, although they do have the emergency line you can call at any time.) Hope you're having a great time in Colorado--enjoy your vacation!

Amanda--Ooh, I'm going to know a famous person, huh? :lol: That's cool that you're going on tv to talk about it. I don't think I could--I'm a crier, so it would just be me with my red nose sobbing. And I think it's totally normal to worry about your hair. I would be the same way. Although it would be hopeless because my hair is at an all-time-low. I went to a new hairdresser because mine was on maternity leave--she had twins in August (went off of bc in January and got pregnant that month grrrrrrrrrrrrrr) Anyway, my hair was brutalized. Sob. So sad, huh? :lol:

Well, hope everyone is hanging in there!
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amanda-jane
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Post by amanda-jane » Fri Jan 12, 2007 7:25 pm

hey sassy, that's great you can call your dr. at home totally don't blame you, and it's cool you've got a new way of doing the drugs, enjoy that powder, i'm soooo envious! :D
hey meg, glad i'm not on my own with the hair thing !!
i'm more embarrased that my old school pals will see me but anyway who cares really! sorry i'm burnt out today been doing accounts all day. cos i also have my own buisness doing botox etc
i'll post again tomorrow hope you're all doin ok xx :)
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sassynlv
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Post by sassynlv » Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:24 am

Hey girls...
the skiing was great... and no major injuries... my big fear was that i would break my leg which would necessitate surgery, thereby delaying my cycle. AHHHH my world revolves around my cycles... hate that!!!

i am in tomorrow for an us... delayed by a day, so i am hoping for good lining growth. dh kept giving me water and vitamins all wkend, having decided apparently that those are the 2 main ingredients for a cushy uterine lining :D .

Well, i broke down and started another thread... no offense meant, and i will continue to chat with you guys here as i have REALLY valued this thread. Just was so sad today that my heart was breaking... and dh unfortunately was not around... was traveling back from skiing (i flew back last night as i originally was supposed to have my us this am). I believe that anger is always about fear, sadness or frustration. And my anger lately i think is from sadness. It is hard to be patient!

meg: i don't actually have my RE's home #... just called him through the answering service (for emergencies). Didn't know what else to do, and he always tells me to call at any time with questions... so call i did :wink: .

Amanda: i find it interesting that you have a botox deal going. DH and his friend have been talking to me about doing it out of his friend's office, but i have been reluctant. Do you like it? Do tell.
6 fresh IVFs plus one cancelation
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FionaA
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Post by FionaA » Mon Jan 15, 2007 5:30 am

Hi Ladies, well my cold turkey lasted for three days...glad to be back though! Spent the weekend being horrible to those around me but I seem to have snapped out of it now! I think it might have something to do with the fact that AF arrived today and so I can get on with the FET process, picked up the drugs this morning! I think that its the waiting that's killing me!

Sass, I notice that you seem to have done back to back IVFs in the latter part of last year.. my clinic likes to me to take a break for a month, but but given my complete lack of patience I reckon back to back might be the way to go. What do you reckon??

Amanda and Meg, do NOT underestimate the value of good hair. I had a hair appointment so I could look hot for my appointment at the clinic. How sad of me, especially since my head is not exactly the focus of the attention throughout the process. Sorry to hear about your hairdresser Meg, it's damned hard to find one that will listen to instructions and do what they're told.

Fee

sassynlv
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Post by sassynlv » Mon Jan 15, 2007 5:54 am

Fee: Welcome back!!! (as you may have noticed, your "cold turkey" lasted MUCH longer than mine :? ). Congrats on arrival of AF! Now the fun can begin! As for back to back cycling... i am type A and so when RE recommended i cycle again right away after #1 failed (this came in the same discussion in which he called my eggs "old" hffff!), i thought it was a great idea. i thought waiting a month or two would put me in the looney bin. The same thing happened btwn #2 and #3, only this time, RE said i could cycle again if i felt physically and emotionally up to it... so 10 days after my BFN, i started stims again. I don't regret doing them back to back, but i think because i did, emotionally it didn't all hit me until after my #3 fresh. Emotionally it has been a rough month for me... and i am grateful that i have had this time before FET to work through (at least some of) the emotional "junk". For me, being very impatient and neurotic... the benefits outweighed the negatives. btw.... i think the whole getting hair done for RE appt VERY funny, heeheehee. yes, it is true that your head is not exactly where the focus is :lol: !
6 fresh IVFs plus one cancelation
Last Chance FET--- Pregnant with triplets!
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meg12
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Post by meg12 » Mon Jan 15, 2007 6:13 am

Well ladies, if that's where the RE's focus is, you definitely want to consider finding a new doctor! Hee, hee.

I have been in a horrid mood all day today--my poor DH. I yelled at him more times then I can count, and even burst into tears a couple of times. It surprised me as much as it did him, I think! I'm just a hormonal wreck and I'm not even taking any drugs right now :oops: Can't wait until I start dumping estrogen on top of it---I'll probably just blow up like a keg full of gun powder. Geez. Still haven't started AF yet, either, but if these hormones are any indication she's going to be a doozy this month!

I'm with you guys on the back to back cycling. Yes, it's hard on a person but it's even harder waiting. Since Ms. Auntie is taking her sweet time this month, I've been waiting 42 days so far to start this FET and it's killing me. It just feels better to be doing something, even if it is just taking estrogen or getting a daily shot. Just feels proactive, ya know.

I'm a little bummed about IVF in general today, too. Mainly because I made the mistake of talking to a friend of mine who went through it. This was almost 10 years ago and they did 7 rounds of IVF without success. Needless to say, she's pretty bitter about it. I know better than to talk with her about it. She's very positive for me (we have totally different problems and after all it has been 10 years so I'm sure the procedure has change tons since then) but it still kind of brings me down a little to hear her negativity. I love her to death, though, so can't totally cut her out---just need to watch our conversation topics! She adopted two beautiful children, so everything worked out for her in the end.

We were laughing, though, about all the things people say to you when they find out you're trying to get pregnant. Stuff like "Oh, as soon as you stop trying you'll be pregnant in no time." Or, I bet if you adopt a child, you'll get pregnant right away." Or, "I know someone who tried everything to have a baby and as soon as they had accepted that they couldn't get pregnant, they ended up natural conception--and it was twins!" My favorite one is: "Just go out, have a couple of drinks, relax and let nature take it's course."
I always want to say to those people something like, "oh, you mean we are supposed to have sex in order to get pregnant? Who knew?"

Wow, sorry for the book. Haven't posted in a whole day and it just kept flowing out! Sorry!!!!!! I don't blame you if you skipped most of this--you're probably better off for it!

Night, night. Or good morning for those across the world!
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FionaA
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Post by FionaA » Mon Jan 15, 2007 6:18 am

Hey Sassy

Cold turkey was hard, I kept itching to get back on over the weekend but instead devoted my time to being horrible and mean.

It sounds like we are quite similar in mind set, the wait has sent me mental and I think that I may have been better off without a break. Having said that I was in a lot of pain after my last fresh cycle. I would have thought doing back to back FETs would be a no brainer though...

It's interesting that the emotional stuff really hit you when you had to wait for the FET. I think that that is what I'm trying to avoid...in other words, if I get a BFN i just get straight on with the next go instead of wallowing around in self pity....

Gosh I would have slapped the RE if he had called my eggs old. Can't be THAT old if you have 12 embies on ice.


Fee

PS am thinking of botox for my next clinic appointment, have developed a furrowed brow from all the worry...or would that be overkill??

sassynlv
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Post by sassynlv » Mon Jan 15, 2007 6:48 am

meg12 wrote:Wow, sorry for the book. Haven't posted in a whole day and it just kept flowing out! Sorry!!!!!! I don't blame you if you skipped most of this--you're probably better off for it!
Well, miss Meg, i beg to differ w/you. i am glad i didn't skip what you wrote! and i definately do not feel i would be better off had i not read it. So there :wink: ! I am sorry that it has been a crappy day for you! (and w/o hormones??!!) Now what is this you say about Auntie F not making an appearance yet :shock: ? That beotch! I am sorry... it sounds like the wait is quite hard on you. I know for me also, once i am moving forward things are much easier emotionally... like you said, the whole "proactive" stuff.

Now, as for your friend... wow... to still be bitter after 10 years... and to pass that onto you as you are cycling... that sucks. Yep, sounds like being careful w/her for now is a good idea. Isn't that hard, though? At least it is for me.

Fee: I dont know about the furrowed brow... maybe amanda can answer that for you... too bad botox won't cure the underlying cause of the furrows.... :wink: . As for the emotional stuff.. i don't know.. like i said, i don't regret doing back to back... but i also believe it caught up to me. I think if you are aware of that ahead of time, you will be in a position to deal w/it better than i have. As for my eggs... dear RE... at least he is honest w/me (and he says it in such a diplomatic way)! i told my mom i was "offended" on behalf of my eggs :wink: !. Unfortunately, he appears to be right. Luckily i do have some embs... although all were just ferts when frozen, but my problem is getting embs that are chromosomally nl and grow to blast. So fingers are crossed for next wk when they get all thawed out...

i know, i know, just as you thought this email couldn't get any longer... Meg, after reading your frustrations w/the stupid things people say (also one of my personal pet peeves)... thought i would share w/you this list of responses i got off another site... some are funny :lol:

INFERTILITY COMEBACKS TO:

"YOU JUST NEED TO RELAX."

I AM RELAXED, DAMMIT!

Gee, I hadn't thought of that! You mean relaxing will make my husband start producing sperm?

I was relaxed for the first year and a half we were trying, but it didn't work, so I gave it up.

And here I was thinking we just needed to have sex. THANKS!

You try staying calm while your husband gives you a shot in the butt.

You try staying calm when you have five pelvic exams a week.

I am relaxed... except when people make stupid comments.

We already tried that method, now we're trying something different.


"SO WHEN ARE YOU TWO PLANNING TO START A FAMILY?"

So, when are you planning on minding your own business?

When the egg and sperm decide to do a tango.

About 3 years ago!

We're way past the planning stage, we've already contracted with professionals.

ASAP. When are you going to have liposuction/plastic surgery?


"WHAT DO YOU WANT A BABY FOR, ANYWAY?"

For tax purposes, of course.

So that there will be someone to laugh at all the nasty comments I make about you behind your back.

Well, the dogs seem to have turned out well...

"WELL, I KNOW IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS, BUT ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT?"

Why? Do you want to show us how it's done? (accompanied with a leer)

Oh, you mean he has to put it inside of me?

Well, we got this book... I admit, it's a bit confusing... but I think we've got it down pretty well... Tab A goes into Slot B, right?

Lemme guess, you're offering private lessons, right?

You're right! It is none of your business.

"WHY DON'T YOU HAVE ANY KIDS?"

Because our cats are allergic.

Hang on, I'll go make a copy of my medical charts for you.

You want the full length motion picture version in color and Dolby surround sound, or will you be satisfied by hearing that we're working on it?

All right, ladies... let's hope tomorrow (or for Amanda and Fee.. later today) is better for us all![/b]. I just keep thinking we are all going to look back on this when we have our children...
6 fresh IVFs plus one cancelation
Last Chance FET--- Pregnant with triplets!
[img]http://b1.lilypie.com/XhKKm8/.png[/img]

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