No problem for the AF situation! LOL we sound like secret agents! "PMA, I think we have an AF situation here, over."
As for the clinic, it's not "my clinic" that made the mistake. My father and his wife are both doctors and, as doctors, don't mind their business at all when my body is concerned. So they knew I had been through all the BCPs on the market and kept having severe yeast infections. I had tried for 7 years and finally gave up. I had begun a steady relationship with my DH and they started insisting that I have an IUD installed. I know how this will sound, but here it is... I would have never considered that option had they not insisted, I was 100% happy with the condom. (the fools, as educated as they are, they believe that the condom is only 20% effective... the condom is 100% effective when used the right way! its real efficacy is indeed only 20%... because people don't put it on correctly, or at all! fools fools fools!)
But my father's wife talked to two gynecologists among her colleagues (she's a surgeon) and they assured her it was safe for a woman in my situation, and even suggested a brand. The Cadillac of IUDs, one that even releases hormones to have an added contraceptive effect and even stops your AF at some point. So I first tried to have it installed by my family doctor, who said that my cervix was real small and he preferred that a gynecologist do it. Long story short, I had moved to Sherbrooke for a practicuum in a hospital at the time, and I just made an appointment to have that darn thing installed. I'll pass on the awful way that resident treated me, but she basically refused to install it before she tested me herself for STDs (which was very insulting... the general rule is you don't install IUDs on a woman who's had more than one sexual partner in the past two years... I had been with my DH 5 months at the time.. but it still did not make me a prostitute and she sure almost treated me as one). She still wanted to make the hysterometry test to see if the installation would be easy or not. So she did not explain anything, did not use any anaesthetic (nobody does anyway) and simply made me cough to make my cervix pop, grabbed it, pushed it open, pushed the hysterometer inside, went too far and perforated my uterus. Third year resident!! Her boss wasn't even in the room when she did that; I figure that three years into a 5 years residency, one should be able to perform that procedure with one's eyes closed. Well, not her.
All this to say, I filed a formal complaint to the hospital and an investigation was made. No complaint was retained against her boss because he was not declared guilty of anything and was considered to have taken very good care of me (mind you, he's the one who stood up to that crazy surgeon in the ER who absolutely wanted to open me up and look and remove everything that was "on fire"; he would have most probably taken away my tubes AND ovaries
). It is, after all, a normal procedure and nobody could prove, even if it's plain obvious, that she perforated my uterus. The bacteria that almost killed me was part of the normal flora of any vagina so, again, it's not like they did anything wrong per se, it's part of the procedure's risks. Though after going through the same procedure at Procrea clinic for IVF and feeling absolutely nothing (and nobody had me cough to make my cervix pop!!!), I really, REALLY wonder what that b**ch did down there that day.
As for the resident herself, here's the thing. In order to be sued, you have to be part of a professional order. Residents are doctors, but they still have to have their boss co-sign everything they do, so they don't fully own the title... so they're not part of a professional order. Exactly like psychologists like me, who have a license, and psychotherapists, who don't (though psychotherapists are not psychologists in training; you could become one tomorrow in my country... the gov. is working on it though). Try and sue a psychotherapist for a professional fault, just for fun! And see what happens!
I could still have sued her, but hiring a lawyer, having little proof and all... I would basically have wasted my money. But I did have some satisfaction. The chief of the gynecology residents met me after I filed my complaint and I explained everything that happened to him. He took things in hand. But by the time those procedures were over, he had become Chief of all
residents in the hospital. And he had me meet the resident with him. He was borderline cruel, if you ask me, but I can't say that it was totally unfair given what she did and its consequences. He took the letter of complaint that I had sent the hospital and he read it aloud, stopping at each point I had made (and as you can guess, I was icily polite, very thorough and circumspect), asking her questions and making sure she learned something from it. It didn't take long before she broke down in tears. She was crying so much at some point that she was hyperventilating and not able to speak, and I can assure you that she wasn't playing the drama queen. I took pity on her at the end and almost wanted to hold her in my arms, it gives you an idea. But I got to tell her something I really had to get off my chest, "You realize you've taken away all the magic of having children, for me, Madam."
When I look at the amount of money we have to invest in this, I wish I could have had some retribution. But it just doesn't work that way, for one, and it doesn't guarantee that I'll have children in this life. I still think about her sometimes, especially when I connect with the unfairness of it all. But I'm becoming better and better at leaving this behind, even though the pain of this cannot totally go away. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and that the obstacles that are put on my way are only challenges that I can meet.
Back to cleaning the house!
Lots of love,