Good evening lovelies,
Well, things were great for me today: my (.)(.) sometimes hurt so much that it was distracting and that bad headache came back in the afternoon, so I was happy about these symptoms... until I changed my pantyliner this afternoon. It had always remained strictly white so far, but this time... there was spotting. Not the real dark brown spotting, but very light brown, like dark ginger. Yeah, TMI, but I don't care.
I was very shocked by that but fortunately, I was leaving work, so I took my moodiness outside and sometimes fought tears on my way home.
My DH arrived at the exact same time I walked up the driveway, so I told him right away that something was wrong. I couldn't help it; when he touched my shoulder and told me it could still mean everything is fine, I just lost it. I cried so hard... He was an amazing presence as usual, though, and said many times he understood, which is all I needed. I think he learned a lot from our first cycle, which is great. He suggested me to call the clinic, but I know what they'll say... "You really have to wrap yourself in a bubble of positive thinking, everything is still possible, we had women come in with heavy bleeding thinking they had their menses and they still tested positive and had healthy babies! Keep hoping and we'll see you on the 14th."
I bought a First Response kit on my way home. He doesn't know. Next morning, I'll probably wake up before the alarm clock (having to take that progesterone every morning kind of conditions you after a while), so I'll tiptoe to the bathroom and POAS. I'd have much preferred to wait until Wednesday afternoon as planned, but that strange spotting gave the first big blow to my PMA, and I know now that I'll be vigilant for heavier or darker spotting from now on, so it doesn't matter anymore. Waiting for the beta on Thursday took a much different turn anyway, know what I mean?
But I've still got the cute card ready. I'll test 12 days after ER, so that means 1 or 2 days before AF would be due on a normal cycle for me (I'm 27-28 days). That means the test will be 93% accurate, probably even more so with the first urine of the morning. If it's positive, then DH will have a nice surprise when he wakes up. If not...
jen: Wow, that fever really gave you a scare! And that yuck feeling... as you said, let's hope it's a good sign! And if it's just the sign of a stomach flu or just the flu, then it might still be a good sign (pregnancy is immunosuppressant as I told you). I really hope you feel better soon hunny, and that the blood test gives you reassuring news. *HUGS* Keep us posted, I'm thinking of you!
Jul1e: I know, bugger!
I'm so sorry you woke up with that nervousness! Poor thing, it really sounds painful! Glad you were feeling better this morning, though, but still. Totally get you on the working from home thing. It is 100 times harder to concentrate! I'm SO glad I'm working full time now, because had I been at home today, I'd probably have POAS or ruminated about BFN all day and that would not have been good.
TansRN: Tanya my sweet, sorry you lost your post; I'm sure there were pearls of wisdom in there!
Thanks for your encouraging words, they are comforting! *hugs* How are you feeling? How is the sleepiness and m/s?
mommytobe: I corrected the mistake on the list; please try to give me the info precisely next time you know something (your beta number, your next scan, and so on... let's assume you'll have a BFP!
), because when I have to figure the info by myself sometimes I make mistakes. Sorry to hear that you're nervous sweetie... you'll be the first to do a blood test! It's so exciting, but very scary at the same time. I totally understand. I hope you find many ways to get your mind of it for a little while this evening and tomorrow. *hugs* Hang in there, and I'm thinking of you sweetie! And your friends' comments were rude! Ack!
Literatriz: hello dear! Thanks for your good thoughts! I can't wait to hear about the donor's response to the stims!
No, the cramps don't mean you'll lose your lining hunny; most of the meds we take cause cramping at one point or the other. It's all affecting our hormones, so it's bound to shake things up a little in there. Think of it as your uterus making the nest perfect and comfy for your embies!
gbnut: can't wait to hear about your u/s!!!
Are you nervous?
arizonakiwi: what a pleasure to have news!
*hugs* Thanks for your positive vibes hunny; I'm thinking of you and I'm looking forward to know how you're doing.
My2LnT: my sweet, it's perfectly normal to be anxious before an ultrasound! That kind of amazing news has to take its time to fully kick in! And u/s are a good way to reassure you and help that BFP kick in even more! I'd be in the same state if I were you. I'd want to SEE!
I'm thinking of you darling, and I can't wait to hear the news! Take care!
Okay, that's it for me today ladies. Have a great evening! I'll give you news of the HTP as soon as I can.