Well, that's it folks. It's a BFN for me again.
The spotting is intensifying and darkening, and with a negative HTP this morning (it's 93% accurate at this point), it would be foolish to keep hoping. I expect that AF will show up either today or tomorrow. I'm happy I did the HTP this time, because with the spotting, it gives me a clear answer and it comes as a relief instead of another bump in the roller coaster. And dearest Tanya, it's not implantation bleeding hunny. I'm 11dp3dt... implantation occurs within 3-5 days after a 3 days transfer.
I'm okay, don't worry guys. I think yesterday was when it all came out; this morning was just the confirmation, not the shock. I didn't cry this morning, just shed a few tears in bed while my DH was still sleeping. When he put his hand on my back to cuddle as we do each morning, I smiled because I realized how blessed I am by other aspects of my life. I'm still going to have as great a day as I can, and same thing for tomorrow, and so on. Life goes on. He, of course, is not affected much. He never invests emotionally in the embryos; to him, they only become real after a BFP and after the first u/s that confirms the pregnancy.
I just wish I could stop taking progesterone. I wouldn't dare to do it before doing the final test, the blood test. But it's cruel at this point, because my fingers come out covered with blood and it reminds me of that BFN constantly and it's a pang of pain each time. But it's only for today and tomorrow anyway. I can handle that.
I'm looking forward to exercising again and get rid of that nasty bloating and maybe a couple of pounds that progesterone made me put on. I'll question my doctor about progesterone, though. I find it curious to have AF even before I stop the pessaries; progesterone is supposed to stop AF, so maybe the dosage or delivery is not appropriate for me.
So, keeping my eyes on the prize!
FET in August! That will be a much different adventure...
Take care ladies, and have a great day,