IVF-Infertility.com home

My mother compares IVF to abortion!!!!!

Discussion group for all topics related to infertility including preparation for pregnancy, causes, investigation and treatment of infertility.

Postby Xrayem » Thu Feb 28, 2008 12:09 pm

Hi there,

I just thought I'd wade in with my two cents but first want to thank you, as this is a topic that is skirted around but needs airing.

We TTC for 5 years before getting 11 embryos on our first IVF. We put two back and I am now the proudest Mum to 9 month old twin boys. I despair everyday about what to do with our remaining 9 embryo's and my DH refuses to even discuss them at this moment. We have decided we will do an FET down the track with the intention of having one more pregnancy. The ideal situation is that only one of "our 9" makes it which then works completing our family and taking the decision out of our hands.

having said all that....do I regret that so many embryos were created in order to have my boys? Not for a second. And if in the end we "let them go" I will mourn them but would do it again to get my sons.

Outsiders say the most stupid things. My DH's mother (who has 8 children) told us when we explained the failure of our 3rd IUI that "given her time again she wouldn't have even had children". And suggested that the money we were paying for tmt was better spent elsewhere. She is still part of our lives. I have forgiven her for her comments, but haven't forgotten them. And as my boys grow they will be taught to take her with a grain of salt and I will always protect them from any prejudice she shows them as they were not "of natural conception".

Forgive her her ignorance but never forget it.

I'm sorry if this is a little in-coherent as I'm a little sleep-deprived (two little boys are teething) but my intent is to reassure you. The pain of IVF is great even in success but I am sure the pain is greater to have never given it a go and wonder "what if?"

I so hope that this is your cycle and will be back to see yor news in a few days. Best of luck,

Em
TTC 5yrs - Unexplained Infertility
3xIUI's (April, June & Aug 06) - BFN,s
1st IVF - Oct 06 - Jasper & Finlay born 07/06/07
Natural preg - Addison Grace born 15/10/08
Xrayem
Regular
 
Posts: 716
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2006 11:45 am
Location: Brisbane, Aus

Sponsor
 

Postby 2ndtimer » Thu Feb 28, 2008 2:19 pm

Hi Sophie,
I don't think we ever stop loving our parents or wanting them in our lives, unless they've truly done something terrible and unforgivable. All of our parents have let us down at some time or another, some worse than others. They are only human. I admire the way you are dealing with your mother.
Again, I hoping for the best for you during your 2WW.
2ndtimer
Image

2 IVF's & 2 FET -all BFN
3rd IVF -BFP!!!
2ndtimer
Regular
 
Posts: 457
Joined: Mon Apr 16, 2007 7:29 pm

Postby PMApsy » Thu Feb 28, 2008 3:48 pm

Hi Em,

Thanks for joining in! You're right, it's a topic all IVFers have to deal with but not everybody is at ease talking about it. I'm glad that it gave you the occasion to do so.

Congratulations on your twins, and I hope all their teeth come out real quick so mommy can get some rest!!!! And daddy too!!

If I may say so, I think that your reaction to your frosties is very healthy. It shows that you don't consider them as "disposable cells", but at the same time you find it in you to see that it was necessary to create them in order to have your kids. Despite the way I figure out this whole process spiritually, there is a part of me that can't help but consider those frosties my babies. Three out of four frosties survived the thaw for our first FET (last week) and we were given the choice to transfer only 2. There is no way I would have let that third embryo die in its little box. No way! The thought of it was too heartbreaking... plus of course there's the fact that you never know if that one was the one strong enough to stick to mommy. So I totally understand your position my dear.

I'm sorry about your MIL. Wow... 8 kids and saying a thing like that. Must have hurt your DH's feelings... At least I don't have to deal with that, I,m lucky... people judging me for spending money on IVF. You're like me; I forgive quite easily, but I don't forget. In some cases, it's better not to forget, because sometimes it's too easy and you end up getting hurt again.

And don't worry, you were not incoherent at all! :D Thank you so much for saying that you'll come back to check my ticker in a few days!!!!! ;)

2ndtimer: Thank you for what you said. You're right, parents remain parents for the rest of our lives, they're part of us. I'm glad I put my cards on the table. She replied in a very calm way and said many things. I'll give myself a few days to let all that sink in and reply to it, but I'd say that I have better hopes that we might have a healthy relationship after all, if we're both careful. Nobody's perfect after all, and I'll have to allow her the right to mess up sometimes...

Hugs,

Sophie
1st and 2nd IVF = BFN 1st FET BFP! m/c at 7 weeks. 2nd FET BFP! 3rd FET BFN
Image
Now let's spend the rest of our lives having fun together! Image
PMApsy
Regular
 
Posts: 948
Joined: Fri Dec 29, 2006 5:39 pm
Location: Montreal

Postby Xrayem » Tue Mar 04, 2008 10:28 am

Hi there,

Just came on to check your progress but forgot about the time difference. Will have to come back tomorrow!

Just a little update...we are now really in a spin about our 9 little frosties as I have just discovered that I am pregnant naturally! It has come at such a shock and I still haven't managed to bring myself to tell anyone as I can't quite believe it.

Well. I'll be back tomorrow.

Good luck!
Em
TTC 5yrs - Unexplained Infertility
3xIUI's (April, June & Aug 06) - BFN,s
1st IVF - Oct 06 - Jasper & Finlay born 07/06/07
Natural preg - Addison Grace born 15/10/08
Xrayem
Regular
 
Posts: 716
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2006 11:45 am
Location: Brisbane, Aus

Postby PMApsy » Tue Mar 04, 2008 2:18 pm

Hi Em!

WOOOOOHOOOOO!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D

*does the baby dance*

Congratulations on your wonderful news and surprise!!!!!!! It's so refreshing to read stories like that from time to time!

Enjoy your pregnancy my dear! And if I also receive good news today, well, that means we'll both have our babies in November. Maybe we'll see each other on a preggo thread? (nobody has started a November 2008 babies yet).

Still 4 hours to go before I know... all those new symptoms are nerve wraking because I really don't know what to think! I've had nausea all evening yesterday and a little this morning... estrogen-based BCP never gave me nausea like that before... plus there's all the frequent trips to the bathroom... plus there is still no sign of AF whatsoever and I'm now officially 2½ days late. Each time, I had AF at least two days before test day... Agh! 4 hours and I'll know. It will be a relief! :)

Lots of hugs! I wish you an uneventful pregnancy and a quick and safe delivery!

Take care,

Sophie xxox
1st and 2nd IVF = BFN 1st FET BFP! m/c at 7 weeks. 2nd FET BFP! 3rd FET BFN
Image
Now let's spend the rest of our lives having fun together! Image
PMApsy
Regular
 
Posts: 948
Joined: Fri Dec 29, 2006 5:39 pm
Location: Montreal

Postby Xrayem » Wed Mar 05, 2008 9:26 am

Oh Sophie! Well done you! Well. You can be my first official prego friend!

I shall see you on the preg thread shortly!

Em
TTC 5yrs - Unexplained Infertility
3xIUI's (April, June & Aug 06) - BFN,s
1st IVF - Oct 06 - Jasper & Finlay born 07/06/07
Natural preg - Addison Grace born 15/10/08
Xrayem
Regular
 
Posts: 716
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2006 11:45 am
Location: Brisbane, Aus

Previous

Return to General Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 3 guests