Ive lost our baby :(

Discussion group for all topics related to infertility including preparation for pregnancy, causes, investigation and treatment of infertility.
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Ive lost our baby :(

Post by Welshgirl38 » Tue Dec 30, 2008 2:58 pm

Our worst nightmare has come true ....
No HB at 3rd scan - an baby hasnt grown since last week :(

I dont know what im supposto do now .... they want us in for a scan next Monday but when i asked is it cos there might be one by then - she replied no, its for your peace of mind before we ask you in to have it removed.


I dont want it removed ... i want it to grow, i want to hold it in my arms .... :cry:

She said that i can expect a heavy period in the next few days!! Funny thing is, i actully feel like my period is about to start ... But I dont understand what happened .... last Monday we measured 6 weeks an 3 days ... an today we measured 6 weeks an 1 day ... how can that be?? Does it shrink?? And if it died last week, why hasnt it come away already? Why is life so cruel, why did my baby die inside me ....

I just dont know what im supposto do now .... I feel so lost :cry:

1 IVF=BFN 2 IVF=BFN 3 IVF=BFP :) m/c @ 8 wks :( 4 IVF=BFN
We must now let go of the life we had planned, to live the life waiting for us..


Adoption course starts March 19th


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Post by CarolynB » Tue Dec 30, 2008 3:32 pm

Oh babe

I am so very very sorry for you & Brian.

I wish that there was something that I could do or say to take away even a little of your pain. I know that nothing will help you right now.

Cannot imagine how hard the next few days/weeks will be for you. You have a wonderful husband who will be there for you. Plus your family will all rally around to support you.

It really is too unfair & too cruel.

I know that the wonderful ladies on here will do all they can to help support you as best as we can.

Be kind to yourself. Scream. Cry. Vent. Anything that helps a little. You did absolutely all you could. You little one is an angel in heaven looking down on you.

Love and hugs to you both.
Carolyn xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Post by Miracle08 » Tue Dec 30, 2008 3:34 pm

much love to you and Brian!!!!!!!!!!! Again...I am terribly sorry Becky!!!!

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Post by Angel505 » Tue Dec 30, 2008 3:49 pm


I cried when I read your message. I am so sorry.

Written to you on the other thread.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and DH.

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Post by lara312 » Tue Dec 30, 2008 6:49 pm

Becks i'm so so very sorry i know no words will help now but know that we are all here for you i wish there was something i could to do to takeaway your pain but please no anytime you need to vent i'm on the other end of a phone sending lots of love and hugs to you and brain

lots of love rachel x x x x

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Post by beachbaby » Wed Dec 31, 2008 10:22 am

Becky, I am so sorry, huge hugs to you and Brian, No words can help i have been there twice. Please take time to greive. we are all here for you

Me 39, DH 40. TTC 5years
4th times a charm,1-IVF, 3xFET's, 2 chemical
Twin boys born 9/7/08

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Post by mally » Wed Dec 31, 2008 11:56 am

Welshgirl38, I am very sorry about what has happened but please stay strong. There was an incident like that I personally witnessed about a friend. The hospital wanted to remove it, because there was no heart beat, and the child had slack in growth by 3 weeks.

The couple refused, to remove it, and hanged on for further three weeks, as there was no sign of bleeding whatsoever. And guess what, they had a heart beat,after the three weeks and are presently blessed with a bouncy baby girl.

Listen to your instincts, and most importantly, the advise of the Doctors.

Take Care
Mally-Age 35 - ok
DH- 40 male factor
ICSI May 2008 - BFN
ICSI Nov 2008 - BFN

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Post by Welshgirl38 » Wed Dec 31, 2008 3:28 pm

Ive started to bleed ... its comming away. I had hoped for that miracle too, but its not to be :(

1 IVF=BFN 2 IVF=BFN 3 IVF=BFP :) m/c @ 8 wks :( 4 IVF=BFN
We must now let go of the life we had planned, to live the life waiting for us..


Adoption course starts March 19th

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Location: Northern NJ

Post by JDC » Wed Dec 31, 2008 9:16 pm

I am going through the same thing right now. I was told 2 weeks ago my pregnancy was not developing. I've had nurmerous u/s since and it's not good. I still have not bleed and I have a D&C scheduled for mon. My hcg crept up but did not double (after the first 2 tests) like it should. I guess I haven't bleed because the hcg kept going up?

This really sucks especially because it is my second time going through this due to chromosomal abnormalities. I wish you all the best and hope you feel better soon.
me 38 dh 36
mc twins 20wks 2000, ectopic 4/2005
1st ivf May 2008 cancelled before ET
2nd ivf/icsi BFP, mc, D&C 9/8/08
3rd ivf/icsi, BFP, mc, D&C 1/5/09
4th ivf DE, BFP!

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Post by charlie78 » Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:40 pm

Becky I am so sorry. I don't know what to say, life is so cruel and I know no-one person on these boards deserves a baby more than the next person, but I really thought you deserved your happiness, you have been such a help to so many people and you have been so strong. Life is not fair.
I still read the Awaiting Treatment thread and I think planting a brightly coloured flower is a lovely idea.

Thinking of you.

Me 30, DH 29
3 x IVF & 1 FET all BFN
IVF number 4 = BFP!!


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Post by PMApsy » Sat Jan 03, 2009 8:18 pm

Hi Becky,

Sorry it took me so long to reply, I was away and I just saw your initial post. My thoughts are with you and Brian, and I'm terribly sorry for your loss. You'll see, it gets better after the bleeding starts and everything comes out because you're definitely sure about how things turned. And for your peace of mind, ultrasounds always have a margin of error, so it's no surprise that they measured your baby at 6w3d one day and 6w1d during the following ultrasound.

There isn't much to say, except that I understand what you're going through; I've been there in March. Take time for yourself sweetie, follow your instincts and do what you must to help you get through this. In my case, a good cry and a new project to keep me busy always helped.

Lots of love,

Sophie xxox
1st and 2nd IVF = BFN 1st FET BFP! m/c at 7 weeks. 2nd FET BFP! 3rd FET BFN
Now let's spend the rest of our lives having fun together! Image

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Post by Hope644 » Thu Jan 08, 2009 4:56 am

Becks -

Hi Hon... I just logged on for the first time in a LONG time ... I just wanted to say how sorry I am.... I saw the other thread first and was just so happy for you. This brings tears to my eyes, dear one. We had a similar experience with our first bfp... my heart breaks for you, sweetie. You're in my prayers.

MUCH LOVE & HUGS TO YOU>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

IVF 1st-BFN, 2nd-BFP mc 8wk,
3rd IVF-BFP!
4th IVF-BFP!
5 snowbabies on ice

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Post by Ems1971 » Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:50 pm

Hi Becks Honey,

I am so so sorry. I just logged on for the first time in AGES and saw your sad news.

I honestly don't know what to say. The truth is, there is nothing I can say to make you feel any better. Just that I am thinking of you and your DH and hope that next time is the one for you! I am so pleased you aren't giving up.

I am thinking of you.

Lots of love and hugs xxx
ME 38 DH 32
Severe Endo
1st IVF Sept 06 - BFN
2nd IVF Jan 07 - BFP! Ruby May born 24.10.07
3rd IVF March 10 - BFP on 30.3.10! Iris Josephine born 1.12.10
Our family is complete

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Post by Welshgirl38 » Mon Jan 12, 2009 12:12 pm

Hi Girls ...

Thank u for ur messages .... its hard to belive its actually happened. We felt so blessed getting our pregnancy, felt so lucky .... now i just feel it would have been so much easier to deal with, if we had just got a negative at the end of my 2ww ... i know the positives of this is - we did get pregnant ... and altho i am already holding onto that hope for our next go - the fact still remains that i might not get pregnant on my next go ....

I have to be realistic about this, if it doesnt work out the 4th time - its time to give up ... i know i said this after our 3rd go, had we had a negative, we would have given in gracefully - but it worked, and the fact that it did has given us hope that it could work again ... if it doesnt then we have to draw the line .... 4 tmt's has taken its toll with our bank balance, our marriage and my health - i want this tmt over and done with as soon as we are allowed to go again ... if its a negative, then i need to move on and start enjoying our married life. We started trying just 5mths after we married, i dont remember our lives without it .... but it will be summit i have to learn to live with ....

Im sad more than angry now ... i still cry, but not as much, im back at work today and so far that has helped me, but not one minute has gone by without me thinking about it ....

I was wondering too - when we went for our 2nd scan when everything was ok (too early for a HB) they took a scan pic, do u think they would let us have a copy of this when we go back for our review ... im not even sure that Brian wants to see it, but i think i do, i think i need to see it - i want a copy to keep .... just not sure they will elt me considering it never pregressed from that scan onwards ...

Thanks for reading ladies .... dont give up on me yet - im not finished :)


1 IVF=BFN 2 IVF=BFN 3 IVF=BFP :) m/c @ 8 wks :( 4 IVF=BFN
We must now let go of the life we had planned, to live the life waiting for us..


Adoption course starts March 19th

Posts: 325
Joined: Wed Aug 13, 2008 8:33 pm

Post by SilverAngel679 » Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:32 pm

I'm so happy your not ready to give up yet. I've been watching your story and I'm heart broken for you, but you got it right. It happened once and it can happen again.

There's one woman on here who tried 6 or 8 times I think. My RE claimed one patient came to them for 6 years and tried like 12 times.

I know that that's not a reality for most people, but I admire people who give it that kind of commitment. People who just won't give up until the very end.

I have a friend whose brother and SIL couldn't get pregnant so they went for a round of IVF that failed. They gave up after that 1 time and started the adoption process. I'm sorry, maybe it's mean of me to think that they're quitters.

I don't know what they where thinking or how they handled it, but to give up after not even really trying bothers me.

But I'm so glad that your going to try again. I pray for nothing but the best for you and your husband and wish you all the baby dust the universe has to offer.
Me: Liz, 29 (Healthy)DH: Tom, 28 (Male factor)
IVF#2: BFP (m/c @ 14weeks)
IVF#3: BFP Twin Boys, born 3/23/09

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