Congratulations on your BFP!
It's the first time I hear that, after an abortion, IVF or not, someone has to be in total bed rest during the first trimester. Most doctors will tell you that, at this stage of your pregnancy, if your beanie(s) is/are meant to stick, they will. That, no matter if you wrap yourself in cotton, if your embryo(s) is/are not strong enough to survive, you will miscarry no matter how many precautions you take. I miscarried in April at 7 weeks with my first BFP and, believe me, a 5 days stay at the hospital and all the care in the world were not enough to save my baby, because he/she was just not meant to survive.
I'm also surprised that your doctor stopped your progesterone and aspirin. I was kept on estrogen, progesterone until week 12, and on aspirin until week 8. Some doctors make women stop progesterone towards week 5 if they had IVF and not FET (they count on the remaining follies to produce enough progesterone until your placenta is independent). Personally, I would be very uncomfortable with that kind of protocol.
It is quite inappropriate, on your doctor's part, to make you freak out that way. Anxiety and depressive symptoms are not good for you, or for your baby, and you should be very careful about that. I can imagine how going against your doctor's advice can add to the stress and insecurity. So I would advise you to call an ob-gyn and get a second opinion. My ob-gyn does not do IVF, but knows several colleagues who do. And on our first apt, she told us that, although she couldn't consider me as a high risk pregnancy, she could not consider me as a normal pregnancy either. So she took the middle way. My follow-ups have been 100% standard so far, and there has never been any question of bed rest at any point. I am very comfortable with that.
To most doctors, you wouldn't be any different than any woman who becomes pregnant after an abortion. A friend of mine had two abortions in her life, and she gave birth to a wonderful son a year and a half ago. There has never been any question of bed rest in her case, and she's closer to 40 than 30, if you know what I mean.
As for your work, call human resources. I work in a hospital and did just that when I became pregnant. They had precise guidelines for my kind of job, and they have even more detailed guidelines for nurses. For example, in our hospital, pregnant nurses have to work no more than 7 hours up until week 22; after that, it goes down to 5 hours (work = amount of time you spend standing on your feet). And so on. It's really worth a call.
Good luck my dear, and hang in there. Do get a second advice if your doctor doesn't convince you. Very few of us are doctors, and we can't replace the second opinion you might get. I know the first 12 weeks are difficult to get through, but I'm sending you lots of good vibes and keeping everything crossed for you.