1st FAILED IVF AND I AM A WRECK! HELP

[jrashed]

Just went through first ivf cycle and not pregnant! I am devastated! Dr. said the implant did not take. I had to good embryos and did the transfer on day 5, I just dont understand what that means that the implant did not take, I am going to see the Dr. on Monday and was wondering if any one has any advice, I have a lot of questions for the dr. but has anyone gone through this that maybe can tell me what I should be asking . I want to be prepared when I see him. I am apprehensive about doing it again and it failing again. Not only is is emotionally draining but financially it is good.
I almost feel like I maybe jumped to quickly into the process without really knowing alot of things worst part is that I went to one of the best fertility Drs. in Beverly Hills but I felt during the process that I was just another file I only saw the dr. three times once for consultation once when they did the extraction and that was for two minutes and then for the transfer. The rest of the time I had more of a relationship with there lab tech. I just feel a little lost and alone! would love to hear from my fellow fertility friends out there!

[souris]

jrashed,

I am sorry for your first failed cycle....

I am afraid that there is no answer as why the embryos does not implant. it is frustrating and you have every right to be angry and sad now, but dont give up!

I am not sure your doctor will be able to give you an explanation, as it is impossible to know... what I know is that it is not because this cycle did not work that your next wont either!
a lot of 1st cycle dont work for many women who get pregnant on their 2nd or 3rd attempt!

It seems like you did not know this could happen? maybe your doctor gave you too much hope? You have to be positive when you go through IVF but you should also know that it does not work every time...

as far as your relation with your doctor, a lot of girls here feel the same about there doc. I guess they are very very busy and it feels often impersonal... I saw my doc maybe 3 times (and because I miscarried twice) otherwise, I always deal with the nurses. But I dont mind.

I you dont like your doc, try to change clinic, maybe a smaller one where you will have a better relationship with your doc

anyway, dont give up, give yourself a bit of time to digest all that until you are ready for the next one!

[nicolamark]

Hi,
So sorry to hear that your IVF didnt work, its a cruel world, and its one ive been living a long time, but there is hope and I have hope that we will both be pregnant one day.
My 1st IVF was cancelled and i never got to Egg collection stage, i was deverstated, i feel ur pain. But i do know that one day your understand why, your embies didnt take.
I am sending you hugs and hope that soon u find your babe and things happen for you.
Love nicki xx

[Xrayem]

Hi,

I did 3 failed IUI's before having sucess on my first IVF so I can understand about the disappointment of BFN's. I remember running out and buying a book of baby names after my first insemmination - I was so sure it would work! (it didn;t and I never looked at that book again).

The thing is, I was told that your first IVF cycle is a diagnostic cycle. It is a good way to try and identify where the cycle has failed, so they can tweak the next cycle.

I went form 5 years of TCC to having 3 beautiful children in the space of 3 years, and there is no reason why it will be any different for you, you just have to stay positive and be kind to your self.

We all understand how devestating it is when you get a BFN, most of the women on here have had at least one failed cycle. Come and vent, ask questions and have a good cry, but don't lose hope because there are more sucess stories on here than not, it just may take a little longer.

Best of luck,
Em

[nicolamark]

I also bought baby book, and named my first baby after 1st insemination, like u emma not looked at that book since!!
Thats true, the 1st cycle is often a basis to start on, and i know now on my own cycle 150 stims is far too much, so they now know a lower dose is best. It'll work out in the end, hope ur feeling beter now xxx

[ally333]

I'm in the same boat. I had my first failed IVF try last Dec and we even bought a bassinet in order to convince me it would work. We were so sure it would work.

I'm now on my second try. I'm scared to death. Using a donor egg, and this time will be using the frozen ones. The transfer date is May 4 and the hormones are making me so bloated and sad and so on. I'm mostly just scared.

My RE didn't give much reason for the first failure either but some testing after that found something they are going to treat with heparin shots this time around.

I pray that what people said above about the first try being sort of a trial run is correct. My coming to the forum is difficult, I'm afraid of being discouraged. This is my first day here.

Hang in there, someone told me that IVF is a marathon, not a sprint!

Good luck to you!