Being around Pregnant friends

[vicky1707]

Hi all, I'm very new to all these message forums, so apologises if something like this has already been talked about.

I'm going through my 4th cycle of IVF. I've got 4 very close friends who are pregnant (effortlessly!) and it's so hard to be happy for them when they've having that 1 thing I'm so desparate for! Does anyone else feel the same? Would be nice to have some more views on this than from my non-pregnant friends who try their best to understand!

Good luck to everyone x

[Cocoa]

Hey Vicki...

Although I struggled with secondary infertility I have to say I hit some pretty deep dark depressions when the young GIRLS I had known for years started to get pregnant (they were kids when I had my first),,, I would be invited to baby showers and found it excrutiating to go into BRU or other places for baby gifts. I worked with God on this through prayer, asking for healing, another baby and to be happy for my friends. They were truly the most painful moments of my life... Then, one day I began to believe that God really DID want me to have to desire of my heart and that permeated my being. It was the start of being able to feel joy for my friends when they were blessed... I hung on to this with all my might... I KNEW God had another child in His plans for me and I even stepped out in faith and bought a 7 passenger vehicle 20 months BEFORE I got pregnant! Just getting my DH to AGREE to TRY was God! Now I have 14 month old g/b twins!!!

It will happen Vicki - believe - but be happy for others in their blessings so you in turn will be blessed - it will take work and you will have setbacks but it will be alright... Praying much baby dust for you and thank you for your bravery in posting how you really feel about it all...

xxxCocoa

[vicky1707]

Thank you cocoa for your kind words. I know mine and my husbands turn will come - hopefully with this cycle!

Vicky x

[Lucy1952]

I read your post and thought we must be hanging around with the same group. So many girls at my church are pregnant it's all people talk about. They keep asking me when I'll have one and I'm using various excuses; "We aren't settled into our new house yet", "We've only been married three years", (and the newest since we started IVF, and most hopeful) "Not untill the fall, it's too hot out now".
It is so hard to watch them all and hear the stories of how they got pregnant on the first try or weren't even trying. I am screaming inside but don't have anyone to share it with. My husband has the infertility problem so I don't want him to feel any worse then I'm sure he already does. I'm glad I found this message board althoguh I wish I found it months ago when we started. I'm awaiting my pregnancy test on the 13.
The two thigns that kept me going were pray; knowing I could give my worries to the Lord and he would take care of them, and the thought that our baby (and yours) is going to be so great the devile is trying hard to keep it from being so but GOD will win!
I would love to discuss more with you if you are interested, this is a long journey no matter what point you are at.

[vicky1707]

Lucy - good luck with your pregnancy test on 13th! keep us posted x

Out of my group of friends there is only 2 of us that aren't pregnant! It's so hard at times being around them. They do their best to understand but I've definitey found comfort in the ladies on this forum. It's so refreshing to speak to people who know 100% what i'm going through!

I attended a school reunion a few weeks ago and all I got was "oh when you having a baby....you've been married a while now" blah blah blah I feel like saying sometimes "well, we're struggling and I'm going through IVF" just to make them uncomfortable like they make me when asking all the time! But I don't, I just smile and say "we're not ready yet" When in fact we were ready 4 1/2 years ago!

But hey that's life I suppose!

Like you said our time will come and our babies will be the most loved and wanted babies ever!