Hi ladies,
Need your opinions.
Last year I went through several failed IUIs & IVFs. It was devastating to say the least and my friends were well aware of this.
One girlfriend had a few miscarriages some time before and when I asked her what she could use she told me a girls night out. I took her out every time she miscarried.
Yet when I had my failed IVFs I was never taken out for a cup of coffee and some companionship.
Another friend had a miscarriage recently and I expressed my condolences to her and said I understood her loss.
She was actually a little miffed at me and said that she didn't like the comparison and said you cannot compare losing a pregnancy to never having one in the first place.
I said to her that I wasn't looking to compare by any means. I was simply saying I understood her loss and the pain that went with it.
She was adamant that it was not the same thing b/c my loss wasn't 'tangible'.
I realize now that a lot of my family and friends view this the same way though she was the first to admit it. They don't understand why I mourned something that never was...but how can you explain IVF to someone who has never been involved?
Unless they experienced it themselves they have nooooo idea what a painful emotional roller-coaster it is, how involved you get emotionally physically (not to mention financially).
Honestly I always thought loss is loss. Everyone's pain is unique. I would never tell anyone that their pain is any less significant.
I was a little stunned by this...am I wrong to be?
Has anyone ever experienced a reaction like this?