Feeling a bit glum..!

by **Natalie** » Mon Oct 14, 2002 2:28 pm

Hi all, I've posted on this site before and have found it a real comfort blanket so I thought I'd touch base as I haven't in a while. Hubby and I had our first IVF ICSI a month ago which didn't work we have 4 frosties and are hoping to use them in the next couple of months. Anyway, I went away to a friends hen weekend this weekend and found it really hard as all the girls were my age and all had kids, I had to tell them about my IVF ICSI as they were always asking me when was I having kids, honestly I found it so hard, I wanted to be there for my friend who is getting married (who has no kids YET!) but found myself taking a back seat. One of her friends who I could have pucnched (not into to physical violence at all I promise) but she said I was really lucky!!! she had, had a difficult pregnancy but I couldn't beleive her insensitivity and was dumbfounded as to why my friend had her as a friend, I don't know, I just wanted a moan really and get it off my chest spoke to DH and he's really lovely as always, I just hope I don't sit next to her at my friends wedding, Sorry to be a whinger not usually like this Love to you all Natalie x

by **Michelle** » Mon Oct 14, 2002 4:10 pm

Hi Natalie I totally sympathise and understand - I'm in exactly the same position - some of my friends who got married 2 years after me already have a baby and are pg with their 2nd. People are just so insensitive and it just so bloody unfair. My mum, who is a complete tower of strength, says that it will happen and when it does we will love our little baby more than anything in the world as it will be that much more precious. Try to smile - I'm confident it will happen for us (sooner rather than later I hope!). Love Michelle x

by **Natalie** » Mon Oct 14, 2002 4:58 pm

Michelle, Thanks for replying you are right people can be so insensitive I just can't beleive sometimes how insensitive. Good Luck with your treatment LOL Natalie x

by **Loonpants** » Tue Oct 15, 2002 1:55 pm

Natalie You are not on your own and certainly not unusual. I also am surrounded by so many people with kids and they make the stupidist of comments at times. Especially when I talk to them about something to do with kids they think I don't understand and dismiss anything I have to say. I am especially finding it difficult at the moment as we have just moved next door to a really young couple with a baby who is waking me up every night. I know she is teething but it is becoming really difficult to deal with the fact that she is keeping me awake where I will probably never have my own to do that and when she screams I just want to comfort her. I know this all sounds very strange but I just hope someone on here will understand the pain I am feeling. What can we do eh? We can't stop everyone else's world from turning but I just wish people could be a bit more sensitive. Make sure you don't sit by that women at the wedding we don't want to hear about you on the news for shoving a hymn book into one of her orifices!!!!! Take Care Lisa (Loonpants) xx

by **tshepher** » Tue Oct 15, 2002 5:05 pm

Friends who moan that they've been up all night with babies who are teething/feeding and who then say "oh just wait 'till you have one you'll know how hard it is" or even worse "oh sorry shouldn't be moaning to you should I " Not sure which makes me feel worse, thoughtlessness or Pity. One of my best friends gave birth back in February and I'm only going to see her and the baby for the first time this Friday !! Think I can handle it now as have been around a couple of other babies, but this one is particulary tough as she gave birth just as I miscarried. My reflexologist reckons that we should surround ourselves with as many babies as possible as it stimulates our own systems or something. DH thinks he's also read this somewhere as well so have been "sniffing" another friend's baby just in case ;-)

Short of wearing a T-shirt that says "I'm on IVF think before you speak" I think it's just another cross we have to bear. Chins up Terri xx

by **Natalie** » Wed Oct 16, 2002 9:43 am

Thanks for your replies and Loonpants you brought a smile to my face when I imagined sticking that hymn book somewhere!! and so sorry to hear about your neighbours too, our neighbour has 2 young children but he isn't with the mother of the children so he has access only once a week I have to say I don't get upset from them it's only friends and families that have babies that upset me. I went to the hospital yesterday to talk about using my Frosties and the nurse said I would have to wait 3 months so allwoing your body to fully recover, DH and I questioned this as we really don't want to sit around and they phoned back today to say I must have blood tests on day 22 and day 29 of my cycle and if all OK I can use them next cycle it's all a bit of a waiting game but I feel as though I need to move on and not be waiting around, anyone else in the same sort of position. Lots of Love and luck to you Natalie x

by fi » Fri Oct 18, 2002 4:15 pm

Terri any idea where I can get one of those tshirts saying ' I'm on IVF - think before you speak!' !!!!!!!???*?! maybe they could put one in the drug bag we get at the start?! I'm with all of you on this one, we've been trying for 5 yrs, and its getting to the stage where ALL our friends are married and then announce the 'fantastic' news. I have also found hen nights pretty tough and know where you are coming from. all I think is when it happens you will be THE happiest you'll probably ever be in life, and all the lows will amplify that happiness. also there is a poem which I will try and find which is v.funny ! Love Fi

by **tshepher** » Mon Oct 21, 2002 11:32 am

I feel a marketing opportunity coming on !! :-)