Some mornings I wake up and have a difficult time wanting to get out of bed and go live my life.
Other mornings I am excited and I have this overwhelming feeling that everything is just going to be ok.. I dont know how or what is going to happen, but I am just happy.
After working in the emergency medicine field for almost 5 years, I see death quickly approach every day upon people who thought, " it will never happen to me". It makes me wonder how I would feel if in hours or days or weeks if I was laying in a hospital and my life was ending, or changed for the worst. It makes me feel ashamed to live my days stressed and angry at things that no one can explain. As hard as it is, I try to turn over that extreamly heavy rock and look at the HOPE and HAPPINESS.
I try to look at the little things in life and enjoy evey second, no matter what- at least attempt to get rid of the anger I feel for a little bit.
I guess what I am saying is, I hope all of you ladies/families find the thing that gives you overwhelming hope, like I feel on some days.
I read something somewhere that said something along the lines of , don't rush what God is trying to perfect.
Maybe we are going through this because God is trying to make our children as perfect as possible- a masterpeice! Perhaps we will be better parents for all of this.
I hope this doesn't anger anyone.. I'm not even sure how anyone else feels to be in a situation like we are all going though as I've never had any friends or family with this, so forgive me. After all I suppose this is why I joined this site, to have support of people in the same place, and to see how everyone else feels.
If no one gets anything out of this, just take it as my mental note written out so I can read about how I feel on a good day.