The Over 40 Crowd

Discussion group for all topics related to infertility including preparation for pregnancy, causes, investigation and treatment of infertility.
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Post by children » Fri Nov 16, 2007 11:24 am

Tell you all a secret here, I stopped my last cycle not just because my DH was not encouraging, it was mostly cos "I" was afraid of having twins - this would be worse than BFN to us at the moment.

I want to share something else here also w all over 40 ladies here who are feeling old each day - u in fact almost can predict which cycle will work for you. If u feel calm, confident, accepting, understanding ivf isn't the only way to become a mother, you will have your chanes even you are getting older,... when the moment comes, you can feel it, because it comes when the outcome of THAT PARTICULAR cycle won't put u in desperation, because you are already ready for the next step mentally, whatever the next step will be, such as another cycle, using DEs, or adoption, ... then this is the bfp one!

I mean everything in life works the same way, getting a job, getting a boyfriend, getting a husband, keeping friendship, keeping a job, blah, blah, blah...

I know everyone here who is trying will become a mother, you are all almost there, I just know!!!

Winter is here, thanksgiving holiday is always a ski vacation for us. Eloise will see snow for the first time ... will check with everyone's progress when we will be back ...

All the best,
Last edited by children on Fri Nov 16, 2007 8:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Me, 50 DH, 40
IVF, 11/05, 19 embryos(e), no ET, OHSS
FET, 02/06, cancelled, dominant egg
FET, 04/06, 4e, BFN
FET, 06/06, 6e, DD born 02/07
FET, 05/08, 5e, DS born 01/09


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Post by Gracielope2 » Fri Nov 16, 2007 3:59 pm

Hi ladies,

JenB - My heart goes out to you. I don't know how you're feeling, because I"m not you, and I also can't say that I have experienced a mc. But, I do pray that time will heal.

Infertility is truly harsh. Each time it didn't work for DH and I, it was like a huge loss. Our dream of IVF working the 4th time around died. I took the time to grieve, and at some point I knew that I had to get up, and dust myself off, put on a fresh attitude, and start pressing forward. We can't let disappointment become the central theme of life. I Let the door close behind me and stepped through the door in front of me. 5th IVF.

I don't know what your spiritual backround is. I truly believe that God has a plan for each one of us. I believe that when God puts a dream in our hearts, it may look impossible, a little voice inside maybe telling me that it will never happen. but I believe and have faith that good things will happen, the miracle of a baby.

Whether it's using my own eggs or having to go down the route of using DE. I have that desire, and I know it's going to happen.

This will be our 5th IVF. I start my follism tonight. My RE prescribed metformin, and I was supposed to start taking the meds with my BCP, but they didn't right out a prescription for me. I found out today that I should have started taken metformin 3 weeks ago. I read on-line that it really doesn't make a difference with pregnancy rates. Anyone?

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Post by Catharine » Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:18 pm

Hi Everyone-

JenB-thinking of you. Wishing you and DH well.

I've been reading the posts over the week. I hope everyone is doing well.
I'm just chilling myself. I've yet to have a visit from AF, but at least the spotting has subsided. If no AF by monday I'm to call the clinic. They may have to 'jump-start' my system :(

Yasmina-thank you for your words of encouragement/motivation. I feel the same. Last summer when we got our BFP, I was so relaxed, not worried about getting the BFP. I am trying to get there now. We will wait for the next round of tmt till after the holidays have passed; we're thinking Feb. this gives me time to meet two deadlines at work out w/o worries :) at this point my life is more important than work.

Wishing everyone all the best. Sorry for the lack of personnals.

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Post by chriss » Sun Nov 18, 2007 2:08 pm

Hi Catharine, I've been waiting for AF also. Went to doc yesterday and still no signs of AF, sooooo he told me to do a 2ml PIO shot to "Jump-Start" my system. He says that AF should arrive within a week. I feel like a machine. Hope you are hanging in there. Looking forward to hearing from you Monday.

Gracie, like your advice about closing one door and stepping through the next.

Yasmina, thanks for you words of wisdom as well. That whole desperation thing is not a good feeling. It's so easy to get all tripped up in it. I have to remind myself to keep a calm state of mind. The yoga does help. I just got the dvd you suggested and I am ready to try it out. Thanks again.

Hi andrea, amy, tammy, sonia JenB and everyone else.
Just a quick hello to check in. Hope all is well. Looks like I will not be doing IUI this month after all. Waiting for AF then hopefully starting IVF cycle. Could be in about a week or so. Thinking of you all. Wishing all the best for you-chriss

jen babes
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Post by jen babes » Mon Nov 19, 2007 8:59 pm

Hi all

yasmina have a lovely time away with your family...i know what you mean about the bfp stuff...its a timing at the right time it will happen ( i was so relaxed and calm this last ivf was so sure it was a bfp and it was just didnt stay that way)...would love twins though x extrememly hard work but good for us too...we would cope x x x have a fab hols enjoy :D

chriss and catharine x x much ove doing an AF jig for you as i speak well type x x xhoping shes here soon and you can both begin again x x

gracie i to likes the phrase of one door closing another scitland we say ' whats for you wont go by you' whats is meant to be will be x x x

andrea how s you??? have you decidd what to do yet???

love to everyone else x x x

thanks again for all your works and loving thoughts x x x
hope you all had a good weekend...
i had a great night out friday at children in need quiz . was on painkillers for MS headaches but managed to have a few vodkas and got totally merry...and had a lovely night....
saturday we went a run in the car and gave the dog a good long walk and did some christmas shopping/ fab lunch... x factor and dvd at night.
sunday we again went out for lunch and had a long beach walk with the dog..played tennis (wii style) all night...

although some tears i really had a good time and am beginning to feel more like my usual self and not numb/angry or full of tears ...
:D :D :D been shopping all day today and bought clothes ( some even fitted well and am not as fat as i was last week with the preggy weight) although not a good weekend for dieting a fab weekend for feeling good for a change and looking to the future ...

bring it on ..Christmas i mean ..not ready for FET yet!!!!!
love jen
[b]2 natural preg,both ectopics.
3 IVF's 2005/6 all BFNs
4th Nov07- BFP! lost @ 5wks 6d
5th FET-Feb08 BFN
In my dreams...May 2010 DE Athens[/b]

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Post by Gracielope2 » Mon Nov 19, 2007 10:33 pm

Hi Ladies, tonight will be my 4th day on meds. I'm not doing to good this time around, dizzy, bloated, headaches. I find this time around, I'm bruising a lot more.

Yasmina - I really liked what you had to say. Thank you for your words of encouragement. It really meant a lot. We do put to much pressure on ourselves, there are so many options out there. Postive thinking is key. Yoga is a great suggestion - I started to go, but need to get back into it.

Andrea: Hope your heart is at peace with what ever decision you make. :0) My friend has decided to go with DE. She tried a couple of months ago, and it didn't work out. The lab screwed up - long story. Anyhow, she has decided to try again. I would try DE since, I feel I would have a better shot at it. DH will not - he said that is going to be our last resort.

Chriss: I didn't get my AF this time around. A lot of spotting and cramping, I was told it was because of the Lupron. When they did the ultra sound, and blood work they said all looked good for us to start.

IF #5 doesn't work, my sister-in-law has two FET that she said we can have. I'm not 100% sure yet, but I thought that was extremely nice of her. I think it would be a little weird. I would rather us a donor because the baby would be a part of DH. We will see.

Jen: You are a strong woman! God Bless You!

Kiwi expat
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Post by Kiwi expat » Tue Nov 20, 2007 7:05 am

I have a little story to tell too... :wink:

Quite a few years ago, my mum bought a race horse (quite a common thing in NZ!) and whilst it was training on a practise start, the gates failed to open and the horse was thrown up against the gates. (Luckily the poor wee thing wasn't hurt badly). As a result, the horses career as the next "Pharlap" of the circuit was over, as every time he was up at it starting gates, he would suffer stage fright from the memory of that false start. So we put it out to pasture and some lucky kid got a beautiful thorobred horse as a riding pet!

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I feel like that damn horse every time I think about doing a cycle using my own eggs!!! - not that I feel like I should be put out to pasture just yet! (Am I going mad or what?!) The trauma of my last miscarriage is just too much for me (I was hospitalised for 5 weeks before and after it because I was spotting all the time). Now, in my own misguided way, I am still gearing up for a Dec cycle (using my own eggs), and it seems to be getting further and further away now as I just found out that my clinic's embryologist is taking his annual holidays over the new year (How dare he..??!! ha ha!). I've been on DHEA now for 14 weeks and religiously swallowing those foul tasting herbs for the last 6/7 months so am in some sort of weird no man's land now, where emotionally I want to give my own eggs all I have, but rationally, the sensible side in me says DE is a surer and faster route to reaching that ever elusive dream of ours...!

Anyway, my DH is getting sick of me crapping on about this (thank goodness I can rant in cyber space!) and I'm giving myself a deadline to move on. We are seeing our RE this Sat for good chat. This could be the make or break decision time!
Thanks all for asking about me, all your great advice, and cheery anedotes!

Will pop back soon for personals!
Hi to all

PS: Chriss - Good on ya for baking those Xmas cookies...! I'm putting up my tree this weekend.

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Post by summerbaby » Tue Nov 20, 2007 4:58 pm

Long time, no see -- sorry about that! Things have been busier than usual around the sleepy town where I live --

To Yasmina, your words of encouragement have come at the right time for me. Thanks for putting in writing what I've been working on visualizing. Enjoy your ski vacation and take home lots of wonderful memories of Eloise enjoying snow for the first time in her young and beautiful life!

To Gracielope - thanks for reminding us all how important it is to be able to move on with our lives after a loss or great disappointment and to look forward to all the joy that we will find in the future. Hope you are feeling better these days and that your tmt finds you on an upswing next time you stop in. Wishing you lots of PMA & all the best for a BFP!! what is your schedule like?

To chriss- I can hear your frustration regarding all the waiting and missed tmt this month. I wish you lots of luck with your upcoming RE appt and hope you and DH get the answers you seek to help you make the best decision about going forward. Then you'll have something to concentrate on and turn your frustration into a positive energy that will give you the family you want so dear.

To Andrea - sorry to hear that you, too. are at a crossroads...I do hope you'll find the right path to continue your journey! Great that you've decided to get a tree after all. Tree=Family in your book -- so that after getting one thing, the other is bound to follow, right?? How's that for logic? Wishing you all the best!! If you can wait and try a cycle with your own eggs, perhaps the DHEA is doing it's thing and you'll have the outcome you've been waiting for. Isn't it worth a try while you still can?

Catherine - how's AF? did she arrive? hoping to hear more news from you soon. enjoy this time with DH. Is he feeling better these days? Wishing you a romantic holiday season!

JenB- chin up, glad to hear you are getting out again. I hope so much for you that your embies will stick around and stay warm for a full 9 mos come January!

To LuAnne & Tammy and the rest of the mothers and mothers-to-be, hope you are all doing well and taking good care of your growing families. Hope things stay calm and aren't too stressful this holiday season.

Sonia - how'd your last scan go? wishing you all things positive for a strong lining this time around and an embie or two snuggled in for christmas --

As for me -- believe it or not, but I've finally begun my treatment today with a Decapeptyl Depot shot, then Stims beginning on Dec. 1. Estimated ER-14 Dec / ET-19.Dec. DH & I are so excited! 3 is our magic number.

Big hello and warm regards to anyone I've missed!
Take care everyone,
xx Amy

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Post by Kiwi expat » Wed Nov 21, 2007 1:54 pm


Who else have we got cycling this Nov/Dec (besides possibly myself?) Chriss? Gracielope 2, Catharine? Sonia - Looks like this Xmas will be a big occassion for the"Over 40's" crowd. Lets hope it brings us all what we wish for!!

Just reread my last couple of posts - what a drama queen! Sorry about the self confessions. I'm slowly beginning to pull myself out of this cycle of despair - I promise I'll get there eventually... After all, tis the season to be merry :wink:


4 rollercoaster yrs of IVF using own eggs, then -

1st IVF (DE fresh) Jan 2008 - BFN
2nd IVF (DE frosties) May 2008 - cancelled

jen babes
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Post by jen babes » Wed Nov 21, 2007 8:24 pm

hey andrea
let it needed a rant and rave and we listened ...please dont give yourrself a hard time, thats why we are here to listen to everyone when the are up down or round ya hun x x x

Amy congrats on starting tmt....its been a long wait , BUT good things come those that wait x x x hoping and praying all goes well for ya sweetie x x x i am so excited for ya x x x

hi and much love to everyone else x x x

as fr me ( our motorhome or RV) is back so we are off on our usual weekend travels after 10 wks ...
tonight its football or footie as we call it's the england game (yawn) ( i am sciottish and the scots are out of the UEFA cup ) but DH is english so we have to watch... :?
BUT guess what.... the lovely lad brought in champers and chocs tonight ( 2 bottles on special in tesco).... :shock: mnnnnn!!!!
so we are merrily cuddling on the sofa inbetween shouting at the ref ( and players) ...
ah shucks i love my man he is a sweetie x x x

love and hugs to ya all
jen xxx

[b]2 natural preg,both ectopics.
3 IVF's 2005/6 all BFNs
4th Nov07- BFP! lost @ 5wks 6d
5th FET-Feb08 BFN
In my dreams...May 2010 DE Athens[/b]

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Post by LuAnne41 » Thu Nov 22, 2007 2:18 am




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Post by AMck » Thu Nov 22, 2007 9:53 am

Hi Ladies, sorry haven't posted in a while....but have been here reading the messages and cheering you on from the sidelines.

Just wanted to send lots of luck to all cycling and fingers crossed for all the 2wwrs.

Keep the faith o' brave and strong ladies, dreams can come true :D

Anna x
Me 44, DP 42 ttc 3yrs
7 cancelled IVF cycles during 2005/6
ED tmt at IM June 06 BFN
ED tmt at IM July 06 BFP
Matthew born 23/3/07

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Post by Sonix » Thu Nov 22, 2007 8:34 pm

Hi everyone,

Just scrolled back and it’s been a while. In the meantime I posted on the eggheads thread without calling in here, naughty me. Image

I passed my ultrasound today and got the green light from the clinic to start injections on Saturday. More meds from cycle day 1 which should be around 2nd Dec. Then if my lining behaves and AF doesn’t mess things up this time, and that’s what I’m most worried about, ET could be any time between mid December and mid Jan. We’ll only get 2-4 days notice so I’m hoping flights won’t be booked up or too expensive around holiday time.

Amy, I think you must be about one week ahead of me. It’s great to hear that you are beginning treatment at last and that your embies will be snuggling in before Christmas. GOOD LUCK and keep up the PMA. Actually I was thinking about you again today because my parcel of decapeptyl from the pharmacy in France just arrived. Can you have all your tests done locally too?

Gracielope – sorry to hear that you’re having a tough time with the meds. Hope you are feeling better now. Sending you lots of luck and a load of PMA for your new cycle.

Catharine, Chriss – any signs of AF? Hope you can both start again soon. I’m on meds this time but know how horrible that wait for AF can be.

JenB – have a great time on your weekend travels! Image

Andrea – good for you going out and getting a tree. Image Hope your appointment on Saturday goes well. I’m sure you’ll be able to take a big step forward with decisions after getting some more guidance from your RE.

Yes, I got out of that overseas travel cos the projects at work were redistributed. I’ll be in Austria on business next week but with only one overnight and we’ll be driving there. So no worries about having to find an excuse not to go, or worries about jetlag, or stomach problems (it would have been India!), or my suitcase getting lost with my meds in it, or carrying them in my hand luggage and having my colleagues ask at luggage control what the syringes are for... :shock:

So at least at work, luck seems to be on my side. Our sales department lost a big project this week which I was due to be involved in. Bad news for the company, but a big relief for me. :wink: I’m determined not going to worry about what will happen in January just yet.

Wising everyone all the best. Catch up with you again soon...

Take care
Me 41, DH 42; ttc 6 yrs.
3x IUI & 5 IVF cycles (incl. 3 abandoned IVF cycles)
from end 2005 to begin. 2007
started DE treatment abroad

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Post by chriss » Sat Nov 24, 2007 10:17 pm

Hello all.

LuAnne, it's funny that you just wrote in on Thursday. I was thinking about you and wondering how you are. GIve us some details!!!! So good to hear from you. Thanks for support.

Amy, Gracie, how are you both feeling? Thinking of you both.

Catherine, AF yet? I just got it yesterday. (With the help of PIO shot last week)

Andrea, did you decorate the tree yet? THinking of you. By the way, no need to apologize about the ranting. We all have our moments. Believe me, it does you good to vent and it does us good to read it because it helps us to realize that we are not alone. SO always feel free to let it all come out. This is the place to do it!

Sonia, glad the work situation is working out. so much better for you not to have that kind of added stress.

Hello to all I did not mention. Hope you are well Tammy, Yasmina. Af finally came and I went in today for sono & blood. Looks like I will be starting stimms tomorrow. Excited and sad at the same time. Glad to be able to start up again, but worried about the outcome. This is so difficult. I will try to stay strong. Thanks to you all, I have a better chance of keeping up the PMA. Look forward to your posts every day. Take care, chriss

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The Over 49 Crowd

Post by DJB » Sun Nov 25, 2007 12:11 am


I'm new here...but I'm 41 and attempting to concieve my 1st child. I would love to be included.

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