The Over 40 Crowd

Discussion group for all topics related to infertility including preparation for pregnancy, causes, investigation and treatment of infertility.
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sunseeker
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Posts: 41
Joined: Mon Jun 05, 2006 2:47 pm
Location: Mallorca, Balearic Islands

Post by sunseeker » Fri May 09, 2008 3:48 pm

Sorry I havent joined you for so long, I didn't even log on for about a year, sometimes its just too difficult which is daft because everybody here is going through the same thing and you all offer such great help and adivce, not to mention the PMA!!
It's always so nice to hear of the successes in us over 40's - Catherine I'm so glad everything has worked out for you and good luck with a healthy pregnancy, keep us updated on your scans!
Amy - I am so sorry things didn't work out for you and I really understand where you are coming from - your message is almost the same as if I'd written it myself! They have not found any reasons for why it doesn't work for us - each time we go through the treatment everything is "perfect", the transfer was "perfect" so where does it all go wrong???!!! Also, it is so difficult to contemplate starting the treatment again - we always said we would try 3 times but now that we have it's almost addictive and you start thinking shall we shant we. But as you say the thought of the disappointment is so scarey and almost too much to contemplate at the moment.
Have you ruled out DE treatment at the moment?

Like you we have also been considering adoption but not sure what to do at the moment, we may try and speak to someone next week - dont' think we have any seminars on adoption here. And don't worry from what I have read about adoption you definately wont be old!

Catherines reply was so lovely and I must admit I have thought about there being a reason for us not having our own family too - maybe we meant to do something else with our lives?

I really wish you much luck and happiness in whatever path you decide to follow _ I'm sure it will be the right one.

Lol Ali xxx
Me 41, DH 44
IUI in UK approx 1998 -tive
April 2006- 1 embie - ICSI - BFN
May 2007 - donor egg tmt in Mallorca, 2 embies, - BFN
May 2008 - FET DE 1 embie - BFN

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summerbaby
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Post by summerbaby » Tue May 13, 2008 11:58 am

Hi Catherine - thanks for your reply! We too have adopted children in our family and dear friends with adopted children. It is an option we are considering and by next week, we ought to have some more information to help us figure out what our next step will be....either adoption, DE or come to terms with being a childless couple.

sunseeker - where are you from originally? Have you talked to anyone yet about adoption?

My doctor wrote to me and said that he thinks the only factor could be my age as to why IVF didn't ultimately work for us with my own eggs, as everything else was really fine and wouldn't recommend we try again with him, but said he'd recommend we either go the donor egg route or adoption -- He recommended a clinic in the Czech Republic and I've written to them to get some information.

Big hello to chriss, andrea, sonia, jenB, luanne, tammy, yasmina and everyone else reading! Hope you are all doing well!

Take care,
xx Amy

Kiwi expat
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Joined: Mon Aug 20, 2007 9:50 am

Post by Kiwi expat » Tue May 13, 2008 12:36 pm

Hi girls

Ali - you don't know me but it's nice that some of the 'old' crowd are popping in from time to time and keeping in touch! I really appreciate the openness of your thoughts - it's exactly what I've been thinking over the last few months and am glad it's not just me that goes over everything with the same questions! :wink:

Big welcome back Amy - you sound pretty positive and am glad you are starting to move forward. I know what you mean about not wanting to get out of bed some days (again - thought it was just me being a lazy #rse! :) ) Be kind to yourself - sometimes we all need these days to heal (and we sooo deserve them too!)
Anyway, I'm starting a new job on Thursday, so no excuse to not get my butt out of bed now...

Thanks Catharine for upbeat post!

To kill time before I start work, I've been watching reruns of "Sex and the City" before the movie comes out! I'm just up to that painful series where Miranda gets pregnant accidently and poor old Charlotte (who we can all relate to on this one!) is trying desparately to conceive... Still brings tears to my eyes... but hey this show is a classic and I can't wait for the movie to come out for some dizzy distraction...(Just hope they don't censor it over here)

Hope everyone is well - Hi to all (Chriss - where are you dear?!)

Andrea
DOWN BUT NOT OUT...

4 rollercoaster yrs of IVF using own eggs, then -

1st IVF (DE fresh) Jan 2008 - BFN
2nd IVF (DE frosties) May 2008 - cancelled

chriss
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Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 9:44 pm
Location: NY, US

Post by chriss » Tue May 13, 2008 4:22 pm

Hi guys,

Yes, Andrea I am still here, just lying low lately. Sometimes coming on to the message board can be tough. I know that you all can understand this. I'm just been taking a little time out, but I've been reading up on everyone.

Hi Ali, nice to meet you. I joined this thread back in August.

Amy, glad to hear from you.

I guess I am in the same place that many of you have been in or are in... deciding our next move. Wondering if DE is the way to go. Just need some more time. Also want to meet with RE for further discussion.

Nothing to report at the moment.

Hope you are well Catharine and LuAnne.

Sonia, how's it going?

Talk to you all soon.

-chriss
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sunseeker
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Posts: 41
Joined: Mon Jun 05, 2006 2:47 pm
Location: Mallorca, Balearic Islands

Post by sunseeker » Tue May 13, 2008 5:41 pm

Hello again
It's now stopped raining over here in sunny Spain - you guys in the UK have stolen our sun since last Thursday and we are now getting it back!
Amy _ We are from the UK originally, we moved over to Mallorca to start a new life because we couldn't have a family but it still comes back to haunt you, its true what they say about not running away from things. Anyway we really love living here now and definately want to stay but would still have loved a family.
I sent off lots of emails enquiring about adoption in the UK but apparantly you have to be a UK resident so thats a no go. Not sure who to speak to here but I guess I will have to find out. It's so difficult to decide what to do tho, as you say should we come to terms with our lives without children after all.
Andrea - I am looking forward to Sex and the City too - I just hope we get it over here, we don't get all the films in english. Good luck with your new job.
Chris - it's strange on this thread at the mo so many of us are deciding on our next step and doing a lot of soul searching. Hope all goes well with your chat with your RE.

Lol Ali xx
Me 41, DH 44
IUI in UK approx 1998 -tive
April 2006- 1 embie - ICSI - BFN
May 2007 - donor egg tmt in Mallorca, 2 embies, - BFN
May 2008 - FET DE 1 embie - BFN

chriss
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Location: NY, US

Post by chriss » Tue May 13, 2008 7:21 pm

Ali,

Age is definitely a factor. Often we have been through multiple cycles and don't know what the future will hold. It's no wonder we are soul-searching." I wish you peace and clarity.
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kimmysq
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Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2007 3:56 am

Post by kimmysq » Wed May 14, 2008 4:48 pm

Hi Ladies:
I am 43 and getting ready to have FET on approx 5/30. Is there any others going through FET??
Sending baby dust to all.
Kimmy

teachertam
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Location: Indiana, USA
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Post by teachertam » Fri May 16, 2008 11:13 am

Hello All:

I hope everyone is doing well.

Kimmysq: I considered a frozen cycle, as I currently have 4 eggs left over from my last IVF. DH and I are debating whether to try an IVF. How many embies are you transferring? Since mine are just frozen eggs and not embies, I would have to see if they survived the thaw, fertilized and then if I have any left for transfer. Good luck on your FET!!

Take care all,
Tammy
Me 46/DH 48 (12/05 & 3/06: IVF#1/#2: BFN)
6/06:Nat. Preg.-DS 2/07; 12/08 IVF#3 fet -BFN
5/09& 6/09 Femara#1/#2-BFN; 7/09 IUI with femara/GF BFN
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;10750;80/st/20070228/n/Andrew+James/k/c5ae/age.png[/img]

Sonix
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Joined: Wed Mar 08, 2006 1:54 pm

Post by Sonix » Fri May 16, 2008 8:13 pm

Hi,

I'm still around and have been reading up but for some reason I haven't managed to log on to post just recently.

Amy, so nice to hear from you again. I can totally sympathize with how you felt after your BFN and having many questions which don't really find an answer. We got a similar reply from our consultant after our "last try". He was very encouraging about DE treatment and still is. Glad you are looking at other options and hope you get lots of useful information on your adoption seminar next week. :D

Andrea – hope you had a good start to your new job and all is going well for you.

Hi Ali, good to have you joining us again. I agree, it's so good to read about the successes amongst the 40ies here. They are all too rare here.

Hi Kimmy and welcome. Good luck with your FET. How are you getting on??

Chriss – You're right. Sometimes it's not good to try and know everything. Ok, so I'm trying to get focussed on it working this time. Have you been to your RE for further discussions yet? Try and enjoy the break between treatments and take good care of yourself.

As for me - I'm trying my best to avoid soul-searching at the moment because I'm back on the rollercoaster. I started my E2 patches and tablets last Sunday and went for first lining scan on Tuesday. All seems to be OK so far though it looks like we could have to hang on another 2 or three weeks until transfer. :?

I've been working hard to keep cool about it this time but it really just gets harder every time. Yesterday I started thinking too much and got myself caught in a spiral of negative thoughts. In the evening my acupuncturist ended up having to do a bit of psychotherapy. :oops: I'm doing much better again today but if anyone has any PMA to spare, please send it over. :) Just found out that I should go for next scan on Monday or Tuesday.

A big hello to LuAnne (any news? can't wait to hear), Catharine, Tammy, Anna, Yasmina, JenB and any other 40ies buddies I've missed.

Have a great weekend everyone! 8)

Love Sonia xxx
Me 41, DH 42; ttc 6 yrs.
3x IUI & 5 IVF cycles (incl. 3 abandoned IVF cycles)
from end 2005 to begin. 2007
started DE treatment abroad

Catharine
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Posts: 297
Joined: Tue Jan 02, 2007 2:38 pm
Location: USA

Post by Catharine » Sat May 17, 2008 12:12 pm

Happy Weekend to All :D

Kimmy welcome to the group. Good luck with your FET? Sending lots of PMA and babydust your way.

Sonia-PMA PMA PMA :D I'll [we'll] be thinking of you. Good luck with your upcoming scan.

Welcome back Ali :)

Chriss- how you holding up there?

Just a quick up date. Everything is progressing well. Just when I thought all the major worries were over, hmmm I was wrong. The worries have evolved into worring about nutrition, body positioning, I'm just a mess :oops: I'm having difficulties sleeping at night, lots of bizarre dreams. Work has ended, Yippee! and we've scheduled a holiday in the caribbean, first week in June :) our much needed break. In the meantime I've been busy with organizing the home, it's a large task though, almost overwhelming.

Hey to everyone else, Sending lots of PMA out to all.
Catharine
Me 46 DH 46
ttc > 5y
1 IVF Feb08 BFP singleton born Nov, '08
1 IVF Nov09 BFN
1 IUI May10,Sept10, Oct10 BFNs

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kimmysq
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Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2007 3:56 am

Post by kimmysq » Sun May 18, 2008 9:00 pm

Hi Tammy:
Thanks for your response, we are transferring 3 or 4. So far getting ready for FET has been easy...BCP. Syneral (nasal spray Lupron) and Estrace...
I think you should go for it!

kim

Sonix
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Joined: Wed Mar 08, 2006 1:54 pm

Post by Sonix » Wed May 21, 2008 7:20 pm

I wish I could post better news but my cycle is cancelled again and we seem to be at the end of our journey.

This was the 4th attempt in the last year to get to transfer with various protocols and the 4th cancelled cycle. Understandably the doctor at the DE clinic feels he can't do much more for us. They sent us a long email at midday today.

The last few days have been a nightmare. First signs of AF on Sunday…a short bleed on Monday…lining was reduced but bleeding stopped… hopes up… but today there was not much left to measure. Maybe there is an answer to my lining problem but I just don't know if we will ever find it. Life is not much fun at the moment.

Thanks so much for all your invaluable support and just for being there. Don't know where I would have been without you and can't thank you enough.

Sending you all much love and lots of luck.

Sonia xxx
Me 41, DH 42; ttc 6 yrs.
3x IUI & 5 IVF cycles (incl. 3 abandoned IVF cycles)
from end 2005 to begin. 2007
started DE treatment abroad

teachertam
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Location: Indiana, USA
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Post by teachertam » Thu May 22, 2008 12:25 am

Sonia:

I'm so sorry to hear your bad news. Life is so unfair sometimes.
Take care of yourself.

Regards,
Tammy
Me 46/DH 48 (12/05 & 3/06: IVF#1/#2: BFN)
6/06:Nat. Preg.-DS 2/07; 12/08 IVF#3 fet -BFN
5/09& 6/09 Femara#1/#2-BFN; 7/09 IUI with femara/GF BFN
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;10750;80/st/20070228/n/Andrew+James/k/c5ae/age.png[/img]

chriss
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Location: NY, US

Post by chriss » Thu May 22, 2008 10:32 am

Hi Sonia,
I'm so sorry. I wish I could do something to change this for you. We are here for you when you need us.
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-chriss
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children
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Post by children » Thu May 22, 2008 3:44 pm

Sonia,

I am so sorry to learn your sad news. Agree with Tammy, life isn't fair sometimes and I wish I could speak to your uterus and ask the lining to stay just long enough for once! Sending you big bugs and wish you and your hubby the best of luck in making decision on the next move.

Love, Yasmina
Me, 50 DH, 40
IVF, 11/05, 19 embryos(e), no ET, OHSS
FET, 02/06, cancelled, dominant egg
FET, 04/06, 4e, BFN
FET, 06/06, 6e, DD born 02/07
FET, 05/08, 5e, DS born 01/09
http://yasminachina.blogspot.com/

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