Donor Buddies

Discussion group for all topics related to infertility including preparation for pregnancy, causes, investigation and treatment of infertility.
Lis
Regular
Posts: 568
Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2005 7:52 pm
Location: Edinburgh

Donor Buddies

Post by Lis » Wed Apr 05, 2006 7:49 pm

Hi

Just wondered if anyone out there would be interested in posting on this thread. My dh and I are having to go down the donor route as dh is sterile and all this has really been devastating for us both. Having talked to a few of you lovely ladies in the same/similar boat I thought it might be quite nice to get a thread going so we could post in the one place instead of on the bck of other threads!

Looking forward to hearing from you :D :D
Me 32 DH 34 - severe male factor
5 failed donor inseminations July- Nov '06
6th DI Jan '07 ...... finally ..... OMG BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;42;53/st/20070923/n/Mia+Alice+/dt/6/k/09f3/age.png[/img]

Sponsor
 

caz22
Newbie
Posts: 28
Joined: Sun Jan 22, 2006 11:12 pm

Post by caz22 » Wed Apr 05, 2006 9:24 pm

keep losing what I type
In same boat -although have one beautfil baby via ICSI - but donor probably only option for us - but ny DH very reluctant about it. Would love to share thoughts
I would just say that when you have your baby you will love it so much.....and my experience is that you love them for who they are and how lovely and cute and dependednt on you they are.....NOT because of their genes - I REALLY promise you that.
Still - its so complex and heartbreaking - love to chat
Cazx

bobs
Member
Posts: 57
Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:30 am
Location: east yorkshire

Post by bobs » Thu Apr 06, 2006 9:11 am

Hi Lisa
What a great idea to start a new thread! :lol:
It will be so much easier to keep up to date with all of us in the donor situation.
As you will know im at my clinic tomorrow for meeting about lack of donor sperm so i will come straight on here to post whatever i find out.
Love to everyone
Bobs xx
Me 32,DH 39.Ttc 5yrs.Male factor
1st + 2nd attempt ICSI - June/Oct.. both -ve
3rd + 4thattempt ICSI.April /Oct'05..abandoned
5th attempt ICSI.. May/June '06..Last attempt + abandoned due to severe Ohss
2008/2009 Now in the process of Adoption :)

sally79
Newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Mar 13, 2006 2:13 pm
Location: greece

Post by sally79 » Thu Apr 06, 2006 12:13 pm

Hi all
I am new to all of this so forgive me if I ask stupid questions or sound a little clueless.
My name is Sally and Iam 26 my DP is 59 we live in Greece and own a small cafe. MY DP and I are considering using a donor. DP had a vasectomy about 20 years ago. Although we are also considering other types of treatment. We have not had any medical advice yet but hope to start the process in september/october. We have been together for 7 years and are so happy that the chance to have a family would complete us. DP already has 2 children and also 2 grandchildren, but we want the chance to raise a family together. At the moment we are trying to decide weather to have treatment here in Greece or weather to return to the Uk.

So now for the really silly questions.
1. How much is the treatemnt likley to cost
2. How long does each cycle take
3. if it is not sucessful how long do you need to wait before starting again.
4. How sucessful is DI
5. is there anything I can be doing to improve our chances?

Best wishes
Sallyx

Lis
Regular
Posts: 568
Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2005 7:52 pm
Location: Edinburgh

Post by Lis » Thu Apr 06, 2006 8:57 pm

Hey Caz, Bobs & Sally glad to see we all now have our very own place to chat :D

Caz - firstly thanks for all the positive fedback and pma re: the donor thing. I have been so upset over dh's negative sperm retreival but at least we know where we are now. dh has been amazing and was the one that really persuaded me that it is the right thing for us. I thought he might find it upsetting but he sees it as the nearest thing as at least there will be a genetic link through me, he says. I'm sorry your dh is not so keen. Do you think that is because he will compare to your little one that is genetically his? I bet though once the baby came along he would be thrilled and love him/her just as much. Do you think you can talk him round? or counselling? How old is your little one and boy or girl? (sorry for all the Q's!! :wink: )

Bobs - doll I had you in mind with this thread as we always seemed to chat on the back of another thread! Best of luck tomorrow. Would love to hear how you get on. I phoned Darlington on Monday and they told me they are now starting to anticipate problems with shortage. When I phoned 4 weeks ago I was told there was no problem at all. I can't believe things can change so quickly. They did say however not to panick yet but I now feel maybe we should start tmt asap??

Sally welcome! That's great you are considering tmt :D I will tell you what I know as dh and I are about to embark on tmt soon with donor. You would have iui with or without medication. When its without you have bloods and urine done to indicate impending ovulation then you have insemination 24 - 36 hrs after LH (Leutinising hormone) surge detected. Then 2ww to see if pg. We might be going cycle with meds so I think you start taking meds to stimulate ovaries on day 2 up to day 12/14?? then have hcg injection then insemination 24-36hrs later. As I haven't had consultation yet I only know from being on here and reading up so sorry if its not quite right :? One cycle costs £800 upwards and success is anything from 10 - 20% per cycle. Think you can pretty much have them soon after each other if it is without medication. Not sure when you do have medication. The only problem in the uk at the moment is a lack of donors coming forward now that they are not anonymous. Since 1st April 2006 clinics can only use sperm from known donors. Because of this dh and I cannot get treated anywhere in our native Scotland and have had to choose a clinic 350 miles away!

I wrote to the top person at our health board today asking him to fund my donor iui cycles. I hand delivered the letter to his office to make sure he got it. My consultant told me on the quiet, to write as apparently last week there was a health board meeting to discuss the donor shortage issue. Apparently this top person I wrote to said he would fund couples to go elsewhere :D and apparently dh and I are the first couple in our area to come up against this problem. So keep everything crossed that I will get funding!!

Speak to you all tomorrow. Nite nite off to bed as had a b****r of a day!
Me 32 DH 34 - severe male factor
5 failed donor inseminations July- Nov '06
6th DI Jan '07 ...... finally ..... OMG BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;42;53/st/20070923/n/Mia+Alice+/dt/6/k/09f3/age.png[/img]

bobs
Member
Posts: 57
Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:30 am
Location: east yorkshire

Post by bobs » Fri Apr 07, 2006 6:23 pm

Hi all.
Had meeting with my clinic this afternoon re: problems getting donor sperm.As of the 1st April 2006, it is now illegal to use any donor sperm donated before april 2005 unless it is to be used for the needs of a sibling for another child created by that donor.
My clinic stated that clinics everywhere are having problems purchasing donor sperm because of the lack of it.Apparently,when a donor donates, the sperm its tested for everything then has to be put in quarantine for 6months before it is allowed to be used.This is why there is a lack of it apparently. At the moment no-one knows how bad the situation is going to get but they are hoping it wont be a problem once the 'crisis' has died down.
On top of this the law has now changed regarding how many pregnancy's can be allowed per sperm donor. It is still 10 but where couples undergo ivf or icsi + find embryos suitable for freezing then these have to be classed as a pregnancy too.So this will also slow down donor sperm cycles.
Our personal story is that my Dh sperm is very very poor quality.He has had the tese op performed twice.The 2nd time there was enough tissue to freeze for next attempt.The lab have stated that not to get our hopes up because of the quality + have advised us to use donor back-up. (We have done this before on our previous attempts). Because of the situation now tho, we are faced with 3 choices:
1) Go for icsi without donor backup + pray Dh sperm will be ok on the day(or we will be faced with eggs but nothing to fertilise them with)
2)Wait a bit longer + hope the crisis settles down then go ahead with icsi with donor back up
3) Forget icsi + go for diui, when donor available!
We feel in a total no win situation.We are both fine about using donor but I dont think I could go ahead with diui knowing that some of my dh's sperm is in the freezer, because we all know it can only take 1!
If any 1 has any advice i would be pleased to hear from you.
Love Bobs xx
P.S It never rains but it pours!!!
Me 32,DH 39.Ttc 5yrs.Male factor
1st + 2nd attempt ICSI - June/Oct.. both -ve
3rd + 4thattempt ICSI.April /Oct'05..abandoned
5th attempt ICSI.. May/June '06..Last attempt + abandoned due to severe Ohss
2008/2009 Now in the process of Adoption :)

Lis
Regular
Posts: 568
Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2005 7:52 pm
Location: Edinburgh

Post by Lis » Sat Apr 08, 2006 9:22 am

Bobs Hi sorry I was unable to come on last night and read your update. I'm glad you got all that info from your clinic - its good at least to be clear about everything. As you know, we were very nearly in your position - if dh's lab results had suggested he had made sperm at some point in his life, we would have had second retrieval with only a 30% success rate and would have been using donor as a back up. In addition to all the info you were told, we were also told that we could have been in the situation where dh's sperm retrieval was negative and the donor they had selected to use might have reached ten pregnancies by the day of EC. They would then have to use another donor but may not be able to get one due to shortage meaning nothing to fertilise eggs with, just like you say. They said it could be as drastic as phoning round individual clinics last minute seeing if anyone had any spare straws of sperm!

I can see you are in a total no win situation. Total dilemna! I feel for you :( If I was i your situation, which I very nearly was, I know like you, dh and I would want to know for sure that we had tried everything to have a baby that was biologically his. For us donor was the second option which unfortunately now is our only option. I think however its probably wise to hold off that little bit longer and have donor as a back up - think how you would feel if dh's swimmers didn't survive the thaw and you had to abandon the cycle? Can you be given a clearer picture on how long you would have to wait to get donor for back up?? Also what is the % lilelihood of dh's swimmers surviving. If its greater than 50% maybe you might want to take the risk? especially if you may have to hold off tmt for a very long time. I'm sorry if none of this helps but these are the sorts of things I think I would have thought about.

Does this situation not just make you sick?? I feel so angry :twisted: when I think that someone out there, who knows nothing about dh and me, has made this decision without much of a thought for the devastating consequences on couples like you and your dh and me and my dh. Do they realise our baby dreams are under serious threat?? My consultant (who can't treat me as no DIUI programme now because of the problem) has suggested we go to Copenhagen! Donors are anonymous there and no probs there - I am seriously considering it if Darlington looks rocky in terms of being able to be treated.

Sorry for the rant. How are you today??

xxxxx
Me 32 DH 34 - severe male factor
5 failed donor inseminations July- Nov '06
6th DI Jan '07 ...... finally ..... OMG BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;42;53/st/20070923/n/Mia+Alice+/dt/6/k/09f3/age.png[/img]

NickiMark
Board Veteran
Posts: 4504
Joined: Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:04 pm
Location: UK

Post by NickiMark » Sun Apr 09, 2006 12:27 pm

Hey lisa, this is a good idea, did start one last year actually but it seemed to got forgetten so this great to start again!!!!
TTC 6yrs......Have jumped off the rollercoaster for now, too many BFN's and too much heartache, to keep going....Moving on to fulfil other dreams!!!
[img]http://dl7.glitter-graphics.net/pub/68/68547cwg98wmzcn.gif[/img]

NickiMark
Board Veteran
Posts: 4504
Joined: Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:04 pm
Location: UK

Post by NickiMark » Sun Apr 09, 2006 12:30 pm

Copenhagan, lisa!!! seriously Darlington said that???

I dont understand why you guys have these issues when I ask my clinic they say they are in decline but still have plenty so nothing for me to worry about......

Would they send the sperms to u from copenhagen or would u have to travel there for diui??
TTC 6yrs......Have jumped off the rollercoaster for now, too many BFN's and too much heartache, to keep going....Moving on to fulfil other dreams!!!
[img]http://dl7.glitter-graphics.net/pub/68/68547cwg98wmzcn.gif[/img]

bobs
Member
Posts: 57
Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:30 am
Location: east yorkshire

Post by bobs » Mon Apr 10, 2006 9:17 am

Hi Lisa
I'm not feeling too bad today thanks. My Dh + I have had a good chat + we are going to wait a bit longer to start treatment.I just think we've been ttc for 5 yrs now so whats another few months! We go on hol in June so we're just going to focus on that + have a great time.
My clinic said the wait could be anything from a couple of weeks to maybe a year, all depending on how the 'crisis' turns out. We remain at the top of the list with another 2 couples who apparently are in the same situation as Dh + me. So when they do get hold of donor sperm they will have to choose which couple will go 1st. I asked how would they choose who goes 1st + they said the only way they see fair is to go by the characteristics of the donor + see which couple is best matched to it. Luckily for us we are not too worried about characteristics because my side of the family are of average height to tall, with all different coloured hair. ( my 2yr old neice is a red head) lol. Dh side of the family are little shorter with all different coloured eyes + mainly dark hair, so we have got a wide range really.
I know what you mean about whoever made the decision, they are probably surrounded by lots of there own children + possibly grandchildren to look forward too! It makes me soooo angry.
My clinic don't agree either but unfortunately cannot do a thing about it.
Anyway, lets to pray that the fuss dies down + lots of donors come forward.

Nikki - I dont know understand either because my clinic state that everywhere in the uk have felt the pressure + ringing around each other everyday to try to buy some but unfortunately they are all in the same boat. Good luck to you tho hun if your clinic say they haven't got a problem.
Take care
Love Bobs xx
Me 32,DH 39.Ttc 5yrs.Male factor
1st + 2nd attempt ICSI - June/Oct.. both -ve
3rd + 4thattempt ICSI.April /Oct'05..abandoned
5th attempt ICSI.. May/June '06..Last attempt + abandoned due to severe Ohss
2008/2009 Now in the process of Adoption :)

Lis
Regular
Posts: 568
Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2005 7:52 pm
Location: Edinburgh

Post by Lis » Mon Apr 10, 2006 11:05 am

Hi Bobs good for you and dh that you've come to a decision. We would have done exactly the same. As you say you've waited this long... We are also going on holiday but in July and we intend to enjoy every minute of it. Going to Sorrento in Italy, where are you going? Feel like we deserve it. Sounds like you could probably take just about any donor as you've a wide range to choose from. My dh is a red head (!) and I am dark brown, both with blue eyes but his parent are blond and dark with not a red hair in sight although his sister is also a red head. Apparently it skips a generation (dh's grandad had red in his beard apparently) so not too bothered if donor is not a red head because we can always explain it that way. My family are all dark but my brother was blond as a child and my nephew is blond so again not too worried.

Nicki, its my consultant in Edinburgh who can't treat us that is saying we should think of Denmark. I need to wait and see what Darlington say in 2 weeks time.
Bobs is your clinic nhs?? My experience is that the nhs clinic are struggling more because they rely on London supplies but a lot of private clinics have their own banks like Darlington and probably where you are Nicki which is why there's discrepancies. Nicki which clinic are you at??

Anyway hoping I might get some sort of reply re runding of tmt this week from the Health Board. Then again wishful thinking to get a reply in a week?? :?: :!: :wink:

Have a good day girls

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Me 32 DH 34 - severe male factor
5 failed donor inseminations July- Nov '06
6th DI Jan '07 ...... finally ..... OMG BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;42;53/st/20070923/n/Mia+Alice+/dt/6/k/09f3/age.png[/img]

bobs
Member
Posts: 57
Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:30 am
Location: east yorkshire

Post by bobs » Mon Apr 10, 2006 2:03 pm

Hi Lisa, We are going to Benalmedina in Spain for a week with my parents, sister ,her dh + dd.We are both looking forward to it as we haven't been abroad for a few yrs since we started this ivf lark, we were supposed to go to cyprus about 2 yrs ago but law + behold treatment fell at the same time so we decided to cancel the hol!
I'm glad you have also got a good variety in your family as this is a great help if you decided not to let on to people about donor children. I too thought redheads where supposed to skip a generation but my sister is red + her daughter (my neice) is too, lol. They have both got a bad temper to go with it,especially my neice,I forget sometimes that she's only 2 1/2 coz sometimes its like dealing with a 13yr old! lol.
My clinic is nhs so like you say that might be the reason for the shortage opposed to private clinics.
Good luck in waiting your news re funding. I really hope its good news for you.
Take care
Love Bobs x
Me 32,DH 39.Ttc 5yrs.Male factor
1st + 2nd attempt ICSI - June/Oct.. both -ve
3rd + 4thattempt ICSI.April /Oct'05..abandoned
5th attempt ICSI.. May/June '06..Last attempt + abandoned due to severe Ohss
2008/2009 Now in the process of Adoption :)

NickiMark
Board Veteran
Posts: 4504
Joined: Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:04 pm
Location: UK

Post by NickiMark » Mon Apr 10, 2006 8:59 pm

We are at ISIS in Colchester, and it's not NHS, so parhaps thats why...either that or they are just making me feel better, about it....!!!!!
TTC 6yrs......Have jumped off the rollercoaster for now, too many BFN's and too much heartache, to keep going....Moving on to fulfil other dreams!!!
[img]http://dl7.glitter-graphics.net/pub/68/68547cwg98wmzcn.gif[/img]

Lis
Regular
Posts: 568
Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2005 7:52 pm
Location: Edinburgh

Post by Lis » Wed Apr 12, 2006 9:08 pm

Hey Nicki don't you get all worried I'm sure that's why private clinic ok for sperm. I'll let you know what they say when we go to Darlington one week on Monday.

How is everyone else??

Bobs any more updates??

L xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Me 32 DH 34 - severe male factor
5 failed donor inseminations July- Nov '06
6th DI Jan '07 ...... finally ..... OMG BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;42;53/st/20070923/n/Mia+Alice+/dt/6/k/09f3/age.png[/img]

bobs
Member
Posts: 57
Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:30 am
Location: east yorkshire

Post by bobs » Wed Apr 12, 2006 9:41 pm

Hi all,
Nikki - I agree with Lisa, i'd like to bet your clinic is'nt panicking with it being private, so try not to worry too much.
Lisa - I haven't n e more updates but will b ringing my clinic every 2 wks like they advised me too, so will keep u posted after each phone call. Hope you have good news when u go to your clinic. Keep me posted.
Hi to everyone else
Love Bobs xx
Me 32,DH 39.Ttc 5yrs.Male factor
1st + 2nd attempt ICSI - June/Oct.. both -ve
3rd + 4thattempt ICSI.April /Oct'05..abandoned
5th attempt ICSI.. May/June '06..Last attempt + abandoned due to severe Ohss
2008/2009 Now in the process of Adoption :)

Post Reply