Dear Lisa L,
I think here you will find a lot of people who know what you are talking about...
I have been through 4 ivf attempts (1 was not completed) and 2 natural cycles since March 2005, and I think I understand your point...
Every single time I feel like I am trying to juggle everything in my life, so that I can go through with ivf... I have to think WAY in advance about upcoming trips, work etc. and this is SO nerve-wrecking... Things keep changing and the scedule you have worked so hard for is sometimes useless!
As you say, I am tired of thinking all the time how to make everything around me work... so this time I decided to give up! Not trying in general, but trying to fix everything.
I have come to terms with the notion that it is quite impossible to find the "right time" for ivf... there will always be something else planned around this time. I do take my calendar and general plans into account, but I recently decided not to take it too seriously.
To give you an example, for the past 4 months we have been trying to start ANY sort of effort (natural cycle, ivf), but something keeps going wrong and I have to change my plans again and again. Most of all, I have to live with the frustration of not being able to start trying again. Anyway, I think I am being transformed into a creature I don't recognize anymore... and I don't like that! Meanwhile, life goes on and I am not "here" to live it!
I am not sure if this is helping you at all... I just wanted to share my thoughts with you.
As for the planned trips... I have a business trip in mid-May, and it coincides with the beginning of my ivf treatment... I nearly went mad trying to figure out what to do, then I decided to take my medication with me and do the best I can.
In your case, you are wondering if you could travel 1 month after the ivf... well, if you are pregnant (which I wish and hope for you!), then the answer is probably not. I don't think you or your husband or any of your friends would want you to risk that. On the other hand, if "at first you don't succeed... pull yourself up and try again!" as the song goes. And in this case you can go on your trip.
Come to think of it, the hardest part for me is not ivf itself, but trying to fit everything around it...
Good luck with your effort!
dh & me: 39, endo (laparotomy '02), ivf/icsi/NC
poor response to drugs