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I want to find other women like me

Postby Laura1961 » Wed Jul 20, 2005 9:18 pm

Hi there, my name is Laura. I am 44 and scared of never having children for the rest of my life. My life story so far does not include a wedding, yada, yada. I always dreamed of my magical wedding day, like others have, but it never happened. At my age, and within the past few years, men do not want more children, etc. so it is now even more difficult to have children "inside the system." I want to go the route of IVF, and I don't mind all the examinations, etc needed to do so. But with my age I need more tests to make sure I produce quality eggs for healthy babies. I hope to have more than one. Really I would like to have some eggs extracted, or saved, if quality ones can be produced. That would give me chance to still have future babies, since my uterus is in excellent health, and I never had any major health issues. I am a health nut (as much as I can afford) in line of vitamins, vitex, donq quai, folic acid, potassium, etc.

I researched many science datas about in-vitro, infertility, age, etc. I have researched adoption both domestic and international. It would be more difficult to adopt with all the restrictions, than to give birth. I have considered a donor egg (in lue of adoption) as an option as well. I have to buy donor sperm and have researched many of those sites. Honestly there is one man I wish I could ask to donate (since he is married now) but have not done so yet. I am not sure if he would. I figure nobody knows the future in life, and if anything ever happened to his wife, well who knows. But we were best of friends in high school, and after a long life, I realize he probably was the one. I would be most comfortable with having his children in understanding his personality, talents, etc. Yes in a way I do wish he was not married, but I respect that he is, and want him to be happy. Caring about his happiness first is one reason we never married, way back when.

With that said I know there will be others who want to push 'at' me what I 'should' and 'should not' do, including my disfunctional family not worth talking to about this. I am not interested in living down to those people's standards, especially when they do not know me. I honestly for the first time in my life want to try to do what I really wanted to do all along. I want to be a mother and raise children. If a man is not in the picture, then I want to still do it, without waiting for a man to decide it for me. I don't have time for men's games, and then waiting, anymore.

I have looked into stem cell research, as it regenerates cells, and would like to learn if there are any of those options for me, even if I had to go to an international lab. Stem cell research is very highly respected with top labs in other countries like Sweden and China. Strangely we Americans actually support them by being such large consumers of products made in those countries, especially China. A portion of those products prices are sent to the government of China to pay whatever the manufacturer has to pay the gov't to be in business. China is a huge financial backer on stem cell research in providing top labs, etc. which ultimately means Americans ARE supporting it (in an indirect way). Why not just support it in America instead of giving it up to another country? It will come down to that pressure in the future because other countries WILL move science along, and not wait for our political decisions. In my research I never knew how much we all interact so much in this whole world together as one planet. We really do.

So is there any woman out there that is single, considering donor sperm, in their 40's, and found any clinic, etc that really cares and works with them?

Thank you,
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2005 8:36 pm
Location: Cleveland, Ohio

Postby Sand » Thu Jul 21, 2005 5:26 pm

Hi Laura - Welcome to the Site and glad you found us. I'm not in your position, but just wanted to say Hello. I hope you find this Site supportive and informative.

Sandra x
Me 41 yrs old - dh 49 yrs old. ttc 110 yrs.
1st cycle (ICSI)....Mar 04 -ve.
2nd cycle (ICSI)....Aug 04 -ve.
3rd cycle FET........May 05 -ve.
4th cycle (ICSI) ... Feb 06 -ve
5th cycle FET ..... Feb/Mar 11
Board Veteran
Posts: 3364
Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2004 11:35 am
Location: Lancs, England

I pray next time works

Postby Laura1961 » Thu Jul 21, 2005 8:01 pm

Hi Sandra,

Great to hear from you. I am not sure I understand a little though. Sorry. Are you 35? I know what df is, but 44? Been trying for 5.5 yrs? Are you single using donor sperm now? I hope to find a woman who is so I can talk to her too. Wow this clinic failed two ICSIs and one FET failed? Sounds like Blastocyst is needed. Sounds like a new clinic for sure. You are in my prayers. Are you anywhere in Ohio, or eastern US? You can send me a private message to Laura1961.
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2005 8:36 pm
Location: Cleveland, Ohio

Postby DebraP » Thu Jul 21, 2005 8:31 pm

Hi Laura, there's a HUGE list of abbreviations and their meanings at the top of the General Forum - it's a nightmare otherwise :D Sandra's fiance is 44 yrs old and she's in northern England vs. the US.

There was someone relatively recently in a similar position to you, if you scroll down the introductions page, her screen name was Valb, her message was entitled 'shiny, happy and new - for now'. I'm not sure she's still around but you can only try :D

Good luck. There's a 40+ thread on the General Forum, if you're interested.

Me: 44, DH: 31
Game Over.
Dates: Aug 02 - May 06
Tries: 5 fresh + 4 frozen.
Results: 1 daughter, 2 m/c, 1 ectopic.
Valued Contributor
Posts: 2784
Joined: Sun Nov 23, 2003 4:40 pm

Postby princess » Thu Jul 21, 2005 8:50 pm

come into the general forum there are woman there over 40 and if you go to IUI girls that is where a lot of us are using either donor sperm or eggs.
There is a woman in there that is wonderful and she is single over 40 and doing insemination .

Welcome you will love this board,.
Posts: 614
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 5:37 am
Location: IL

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