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Postby M » Thu Aug 17, 2006 12:51 pm

Hi everyone,

Im very new to all this but think its a great idea to be able to talk to others who maybe feeling the same!

Ive been with my husband for 8 years. We started trying for a baby 14 months ago. We recently had some tests just to reassure ourselves and the outcome was not what we expected.

We found out on Tuesday that the chances of us every conceiving natuarally are close to impossible and we have been told we will need IVF if we want the chance to start a family. Everything the doctor said after that is like a blur and I feel like my whole world has come crashing down.

The problems stem from my husband who has been told he has an extremley low sperm count and extremley poor motibility.

Whilst I am now trying to deal with my own grief I am trying to reassure him as well and almost feel guilty to show my emotions in front of him, is this normal?
To make matters worse I also have to deal with my 2 best friends who are currently pregnant. We work together i a small office and Im envious and jealous just looking at them. I feel so selfish but I cant seem to stop myself feeling this way.

I also am struggling to deal with the fact that my sister has had to terminations in the last 3 years because her and her boyfriend were not ready!

On sunday I am going to my God sons christening, I have to stand before God and pledge to always care and look after him. I love him more than is possible but what if this is the closest I ever get to having children.

I feel like Im walling in my own self pity but to be able to put this in writing feels so good.

If there is anyone out there like me then Im here and I would love to share your stories and experiences and just speak to someone who may be going through the same.
M
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Hang In There

Postby erinlathrop » Thu Aug 17, 2006 7:27 pm

You are not alone in feeling the way you do. My husband and I have a pretty similar scenerio except he has a 10 year old from a previous relationship. We were shocked to find out he had no sperm making it out. Through biopsies we found out he has them but our only way to conceive is through IVF. I understand your trying to be strong for your husband. I spent several days crying on my way home from work but then trying to get myself together before I got home. It really stinks to see everyone around you acheive what you want so easily. We got married in Oct 2004 and started trying immediately (we dated several years prior). That next year every one of my bridesmaids got pregnant and everyone of the groomsman have had babies since. Both of my sisters also had babies. My older sister had her second and my younger sister (21 years old) had her first. Not to mention a few others in our "circle of friends". I know how it feels to be resentful and I understand completely. The more resentful you feel, the more guilt for it , the more depressed your are. It is a vicious cycle. You have made a good step signing on here. We have to support eachother because lord knows our friends and family generally aren't able to (It isn't that they don't want to, they just don't know how). Hang in there and know that you are not alone. Take Care! :wink:
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Postby M » Fri Aug 18, 2006 7:56 am

Thank you for taking the time to reply, it seems we have both been in similar situations. Have you gone down the IVF route? How are you doing now?
M
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Just Starting

Postby erinlathrop » Fri Aug 18, 2006 4:31 pm

We are just starting the process as well. We have our second IVF Consult Monday at which time they are going to outline the timeframe, run blood tests (need to wait until I start), My understanding is that I will have to be on birthcontrol pills for a month and then the next month I start with the Lupin (spelling?) it will all be outlined on Monday. I am nervous but anxious to get this thing moving along. I will let you know how it goes if you are interested.
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Postby M » Mon Aug 21, 2006 7:57 am

Good luck, let me know how you get on. We have another 4 weeks until we see our consultant, just want to get it all over and done with!

Speak soon. x
M
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Heading In The Right Direction

Postby erinlathrop » Tue Aug 22, 2006 8:38 pm

The appointment went well. It was about 2 and a half hours long. We went over the entire process. Next week I go for an ultra sound (make sure nothing is wrong with the uterus). The week after we meet with counselor. I was given a prescription for birthcontrol pills and told I would have to be on those for 1 month-1 1/2 months. Then you get the Lupon injections to suppress your hormones. I am glad to be started on the process it has been a long 7 months waiting to found out what our options were based on my husbands tests, biopsies, etc. I hope the month goes by fast for you. One of the worst parts of this whole thing is waiting. It is really hard when you first find out their is a problem but then once you make the decision to move forward with a solution it can't go quick enough. Anyway, I will be thinking of you. Take Care.
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Postby JustinesBaby » Tue Aug 22, 2006 9:28 pm

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Last edited by JustinesBaby on Thu May 15, 2008 3:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Malinka » Thu Aug 24, 2006 10:02 pm

hi everyone,
i am new on this forum and just wanted to say hi.
I am going to start my cycle this coming sunday. Going to do 1st set of injections, Luprin.
We started to try to have a baby 2 years ago, appx 1 year ago, I went to an infertility doctor, to get all the testing done on me 1st. I changed 2 doctors and only 3rd one suggested to check my husband's sperm count. Turns out he has no sperm at all. Birth defect, I am not sure what is a medical term for it, but besically he produces sperm but it is only in his testicals...we had to surgecally remove some sample for the IVF. No after reading some of the posts, I don't know if it is going to be enough, because some of the girls had 2 and more IVF cycles....

Nevertheless, I am so glad i found this forum, just brief look at the topics tells me that I can find an answer basically to any question i want!
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Postby jemima » Fri Aug 25, 2006 5:54 am

Hi girls,

I just want to say good luck to u all. We are in the same boat. I also have male problem. Keep praying, miracle happened everytime.
God bless u in everything u do.

Luv, Jemma
Me 34, DH 35

ICSI end of July 2007 - BFN
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Postby Malinka » Fri Aug 25, 2006 1:34 pm

hey Jemma,
thanks,
I am glad I found this site... I am hooked on it and it is going to be my bible from now on :lol:
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Postby Frankie » Fri Aug 25, 2006 3:15 pm

Hi M
I just had to reply to you as your situation seems so similar to mine. We have the same fertility problems as you and were told this last week by the consultant. We have a further appointment in October where we will discuss our options and get results to a third sperm test.
Last month I also became a godparent to a close friends child. Also a colleague at work has just announced she is pregnant. Most of my friends have babies. I dont resent them at all but it is very difficult to be surrounded by babies. One of my close friends is going through her third cycle of IVF but I havent had the courage to talk to her yet.
How is your DH feeling? Mine is being positive but seems to be in denial that we may need IVF he is still hoping that things will happen naturally.
Anyway try and stay positive- would love to hear from you again.
Frankie
Me 31
DH 36
Waiting for 1st cycle of IVF
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Postby jemima » Fri Aug 25, 2006 3:18 pm

:D
Me 34, DH 35

ICSI end of July 2007 - BFN
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Postby M » Sat Aug 26, 2006 11:22 am

Hi,

Its been 11 days now since we were told we need the IVF and Ive woken up today feeling so much more positive. It really does help to read everyone elses messages and kind words, so thanks! I guess there are so many of us in the same boat, we all need to remain positive. x
M
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Postby Rittie2000 » Sat Aug 26, 2006 12:18 pm

Girls and M,

Stay positive. It will be worth it. Focus on each step instead of worrying or regret. Good luck with it.

Big hug
Rittie
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Me-38; DH-38
PCOS
1st IVF 04/08/2006 = +ve Wheyhey :-) !!!
Twin Girls arrived on 31 March 2007 :-) :-)


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Postby Haylie » Mon Sep 04, 2006 12:42 pm

Hi M

I think it is great that you are now a little brighter and managing to be positive. It is devastating when you are first told, you just don't expect it you hear stories of others having problems but just assume you will be okay. My DH also has a low sperm count and I have PCOS and blocked tubes, one of which has been removed I am hoping to hold onto the other one for the moment. We have been ttc for over 5 years now and have had 1 go at IUI, which sadly didn't work, we are now going through our first attempt at IVF -fingers crossed! I remember when we were 1st told 2 yrs ago that we would need IVF I was devastated it was the last thing I was expecting, I knew we obviously had problems but not to that extent. And like you say there are so many people around you that are pregnant and everywhere you go you see babies, one of my friends is on her 2nd pregnancy with twins since we were told we needed IVF and as much as I'm happy for her I do get upset and think why can't that be me? Anyway all I wanted to say is you will be glad you found this site because it is my saviour when I'm up and when I'm down, I couldn't cope without all these lovely ladies. For some reason we are having to go on a long and painful journey to have a bundle of joy in our arms, it will make you stronger and you will get there, have faith and hold on

Take care of your self
Me 33
IUI Nov 05 - BFN
IVF Aug 06 - BFN
FET - Jan 07 - BFP!!!!!!

Scan - 08.03.07

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