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31, single, and going in for IVF

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31, single, and going in for IVF

Postby 31single » Sat Aug 19, 2006 4:58 am


I'm 31 years old, overeducated, single, and going in for my first IVF attempt in October. I was in a 7 year relationship with a guy who always wanted children "maybe next year." He was always telling me how having a child would ruin *my* career.

Well, when I turned 30, I decided I wasn't go to gamble the most important thing in my life by waiting much longer. So I broke it off with him.

I bought vials from a sperm bank, and I'll be starting shots, etc in a month, and having (hopefully) the actual procedure in September.

I know what I'm doing is controversial, but having a child is the most important thing to me. I've decided that now, when I'm single, is the best time to do it. I haven't given up on having a daddy in the house, but I really can't initiate IVf while I'm dating someone, and trying to get pregnant with someone I've been dating only a short while 1) is an unreasonable thing to ask him and 2) is risky - what type of father will this person be, yet I'm committing to having him in my child's life for forever.

So, being financially secure, mentally beyond ready, and rational about the fact that I just will not accept the risk anymore, I'm jumping in.

I know this is a forum on infertility, but I hope I'm welcome, since I'll be going through fertility treatments etc.

So ... hi, and apologies if I've already broken a forum rule.
Me: 31 Single gal after 7 year relationship
For 7 years he said "not yet" to baby. So I finally left him.
Issue: early menopause (late 30's) for mom, aunt, etc. Hope it's not too late for me.
IVF+PGD+Sperm Donor: First appointment in Sep 2006
Posts: 13
Joined: Sat Aug 19, 2006 4:47 am
Location: New York


Postby AMck » Sat Aug 19, 2006 9:18 am

Hi and welcome to the site.

The ladies here are very supportive of anyone going through IVF. It's quite a roller coaster and you need all the support you can get!!!

Come and join the general forum. There is a thread for October buddies who are having treatment the same time as you. Any questions, just ask, there is usually someone who can help or provide some much needed PMA!

Good luck with your cycle!
Me 44, DP 42 ttc 3yrs
7 cancelled IVF cycles during 2005/6
ED tmt at IM June 06 BFN
ED tmt at IM July 06 BFP
Matthew born 23/3/07
Valued Contributor
Posts: 1401
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2005 3:26 pm
Location: Surrey


Postby Tillygirl » Sun Aug 20, 2006 12:45 am

Hiya and good luck.

Like you sometimes people see me as being slightly contraversial. I'm not doing ivf, have completed my own family and am now in the process of being a traditional surrogate for my best friend who sadly is unable to conceive herself due to a hysterectomy.

I've found you will always find people who will judge you... or will form an often ill-informed opinion. You also find that the majority of these people have a family, managed naturally and have never suffered infertility or needed treatment because of 'special' circumstances.

I wish you all the best with your treatment and hope things go well for you.

Love and hugs
Tilly x
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Aug 15, 2006 10:24 am

Postby jemima » Sun Aug 20, 2006 8:11 am

Hi... Welcome...
I think we are in the same boat where having a child is the most important thing. :D :D . All the best for you.

Luv, Jemma
Me 34, DH 35

ICSI end of July 2007 - BFN
Posts: 518
Joined: Tue Jun 13, 2006 2:44 pm
Location: Asia

Postby Lavender » Tue Sep 26, 2006 5:30 pm

WAy to go...goodluck!

Posts: 23
Joined: Fri Sep 22, 2006 3:28 pm

Postby KoshkaBuba » Sun Oct 01, 2006 2:15 pm

Follow your heart!
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed Sep 20, 2006 10:03 pm
Location: Troy,MI

Re: ivf

Postby Welshgirl38 » Sun Oct 22, 2006 10:06 pm

Tillygirl wrote:You also find that the majority of these people have a family, managed naturally and have never suffered infertility or needed treatment because of 'special' circumstances.
I wish you all the best with your treatment and hope things go well for you.
Love and hugs
Tilly x

Hi Tilly

I just wanted to say that i think what u are doing for ur best friend goes beyond friendship - it goes deeper and u are a wonderful person for letting ur best friend have her child thru you.
I already have 2 chlidren myself, they are now 18 and 16, i am no longer with their dad and have now met and recently married a wonderful man who has no chlidren of his own (altho he is a wonderful step dad to my daughters) we have tried one IVF treatment that recently failed, with my other two children i had no problems conceiving, time and my age are now against me, so i dont know what catagoery i would fall into now - some people may judge me for wanting more children, having already got 2, why am i here? Why am i so desperate to have another? Why am i crying because my failed IVF? Havent i already had the pleasure of giving birth to two children? Yes i anwser yes to all these questions, but being a woman - the need is still there. Should a woman who has a child with the help of IVF not want any more, should she be here? So you see, people judge over every situation that your in (that i am in) and that anyone else is in - does it matter what they think? My anwser s no - it doesnt matter. I just want u to know, that i am not one of the people who would judge you, u are an exceptional person whom i would dearly love to have as a friend. Your friend is very lucky to have you - so next time people judge you - walk passed them and hold ur head up - you are a wonderful woman/mother/wife and friend .....

I wish you and ur family every happiness in all you do ....

Becky xxxx

1 IVF=BFN 2 IVF=BFN 3 IVF=BFP :) m/c @ 8 wks :( 4 IVF=BFN
We must now let go of the life we had planned, to live the life waiting for us..


Adoption course starts March 19th
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