Twins lost at 19 weeks...

Discussion forum for those particularly interested in IVF and embryo transfer including frozen embryo transfer.
baylorbear33
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Joined: Mon May 12, 2008 12:10 am
Location: Waco, TX

Twins lost at 19 weeks...

Post by baylorbear33 » Wed Sep 03, 2008 6:54 pm

It is with great sadness that I write to let each of you know that we lost our baby girls on Saturday night. I went into extremely early pre-term labor at only 19 weeks and there was nothing that could be done to save the pregnancy. We are coping with this as best as possible, but ask that you each keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we continue to work through our grief. We have no understanding of why this happened, only that we are trying to remain strong in our faith that God has a plan for us.
Age 39, DH 37
1st IVF 5/08-Lost Twin Girls @ 19 wks
FET 4/09-M/C @ 5 1/2 weeks
FET 6/09-BFP
Owen Robert born 3/3/2010, 10 lbs 4 oz
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kerpupples
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Location: Denver, CO

Post by kerpupples » Wed Sep 03, 2008 7:04 pm

Aw honey, I'm so sorry. The whole "it happened for a reason" may make sense to your head but it doesn't soothe your heart at all, does it?

Huge hugs to you and your DH. Be there for each other now. Again, my condolences.
Amy
Me: 39 DH: 41 Male Factor
3yo DD from FET
IVF PGD clinical trial, FET Jan 2012 Beta 1/14 447, Beta 1/16 1161 U/S 1/30 it's twins!
Graham and Audrey born 9/5/12. 37w4d, no NICU time!

angram
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Location: Texas

Post by angram » Wed Sep 03, 2008 7:04 pm

baylorbear - I'm at a complete loss for words, I'm so very sorry for your and DH's loss. You're in my prayers and I wish the best for you. Take care of yourself.
Me 38 - DH 34
IVF#2 - BFP 6/29

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lynniecat
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Post by lynniecat » Wed Sep 03, 2008 7:04 pm

Oh no! I am so so so sad to hear this. What an awful thing to happen. Your little girls were intended for a different purpose...they were short on Angels up there! Its time to grieve and do whatever it takes to feel some sort of comfort during this painful painful time! I know your time will come again. One question I have is if you were tested for phospholipid syndrome. I have this and it causes miscarriages that are often in the second trimester. You can get an antibody test -- ask you doctor. There is a medication that you can take for this syndrome that helps avoid this tragic situation. Please ask your doctor in case you are one of the unlucky ones like me!

I send you and your husband lots of good thoughts to help get you through this trying time!
Me: 44 severely reduced reserve
DH: 44 perfect
IVF 1: Feb 08 -BFP twins (lost one at 7 weeks, one at 13 weeks) :-(
IVF 2: June 08 -BFN :-(
IVF 3: September 08 -BFN :-(
IVF 4: November 08 - Katherine Emma born 8/9/2009 :D

valerie68
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Joined: Sun Apr 27, 2008 9:55 pm
Location: Miami, FL

Post by valerie68 » Wed Sep 03, 2008 7:34 pm

It is with great sadness that I read your post today. I was actually thinking about you and wondered how you were doing.
I wish you and DH to find the strength and courage within to go through the days, the weeks and months to come.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers and know I'll be sending you hugs every day!
May your hearts find peace and understanding.

Hugs and lots of love....

Valerie
40 years young
1 ovary shy of a pair
IVF #1 May 08- chemical
Ivf #2
ER: 08/24 ET: 08/29 3 blasts :-)
BETA (10dp5dt)~ 275 Beta#2(12dp5dt)~ 720
MC @ 10 weeks.

amysbabies
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Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2008 12:07 pm
Location: NY

Post by amysbabies » Wed Sep 03, 2008 7:38 pm

Oh no.. I'm so terribly sorry... I know there's nothing anyone can say right now that will make you feel better.. but I agree God always has a plan... never stop trusting in him.

Please take good care of your health right now... be strong.

Many many tight hugs ........
IVF1: BFP 02/08 - Chemical 4 wks.
IVF2: BFP 06/08 - Miscarriage 6 wks.
IVF3: BFP 11/09 - Chemical
IVF4: dec/jan Dear Lord..please let this be the one.

natashamom
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Posts: 190
Joined: Thu Aug 17, 2006 5:03 am

Lost.

Post by natashamom » Wed Sep 03, 2008 7:46 pm

Hello,

I am kind of new here but wanted to express my feelings for you,my heart goes for you and your dh.

I wish you to try to be strong and pray for you to try again for a family as soon as you`re stronger both physicaly and mentally.

Write to me if you wish.

Natasha.

We`re from Phoenix,AZ,going for IVF in December with frozen donor embryo,the eggs are from 24 y.o female,hoping for the best...

Me:46y.o
dh 52.

Have 11 y.o son and 20y.o daughter.

Edel
Member
Posts: 46
Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 11:47 am

Lost

Post by Edel » Wed Sep 03, 2008 8:18 pm

baylorbear,

Oh my God I am so sorry to hear about your loss i cried when i read it....you and your husband are in my prayers and your little darlings are in a safe place in heaven with God, i know its not what you want but again its the 'big plan' for us all that is so hard to understand. Im told that trust in God does bring miracles, which is hard to do through loss i know! But God is good and he will not let you down i know that, also your gaurdian angel is looking after you now so tell him/her how you feel, those words and cries will be heard.

There is a little prayer that may help you right now and its called Footprints:

Footprints

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was
walking along the beach with the LORD. Across
the sky flashed scenes of his life. For each scene,
he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one
belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
He looked back at the footprints in the sand. He
noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints. He also
noticed that it happened at the very lowest and
saddest times of his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the
LORD about it. "LORD, you said that once I
decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the
way. But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life, there is only one set
of footprints; I don't understand why when I
needed you most you would leave me."

The LORD replied, "My precious, precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you. During
your times of trial and suffering, when you see
only one set of footprints, it was then that I
carried you."

My mum gave me this prayer the other day and its helped me to have hope again and to feel im not alone, i hope it helps you too. It will take time to grieve and allow yourself that cos you need it. Our hearts are with you both. Take care.

Love and Hugs

Edel :)

sciteacher77
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Joined: Sat Jul 28, 2007 1:51 pm

Post by sciteacher77 » Wed Sep 03, 2008 8:50 pm

I am so terribly sorry for your loss! I am writing to not only express my heartbreak for you and your DH, but also to tell you I have been there. The grief can seem overwhelming and it is hard to ever imagine happiness again, but there will be a time when babies make you smile again. My DH and I lost our daughter at 23 weeks last January. I had experienced a lot of pressure throughout the pregnancy, but since it was my first, we assumed it was normal. At 21.5 weeks I went to the restroom and felt something strange. I called my DH to look and we were scared. At the hospital we learned that what I felt were the membranes. I was immediately hung upside down in trendelenberg position in hope that the membranes would go back up. They did not. The next morning an MFM attempted an emergency cerclage. He broke my membranes in the attempt. I hung on another week and a half, but lost my baby at 23 weeks. We were devastated. I know you said you had pre-term labor, but was it an incompetent cervix (what I have) that caused the labor? I ask so you can ensure that any other pregnancies are safe. I am pregnant again and have had a trans-abdominal cerclage to hold this baby in. Please feel free to PM me if you need to talk. I am so sorry for your loss!
Michelle

Dakota
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Joined: Tue May 13, 2008 1:42 pm
Location: GA

Post by Dakota » Wed Sep 03, 2008 11:08 pm

Baylorbear- I am SO SO sorry!!! I don't know why these things happen and I hate that they do. I wish that we could all just never have to deal with this. I am really sorry, you are in my thoughts!!
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Ghost
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Posts: 4150
Joined: Mon May 29, 2006 5:01 pm

Post by Ghost » Thu Sep 04, 2008 1:11 am

Damn. This is just terrible.

It takes a lot of courage to go through IVF, pregnancy, childbirth, and parenthood.
Avoid IVF and surrogacy in Ukraine. Ukrainian centers pay shills to post here under numerous sock accounts pretending to be patients in Ukraine. Centers using such deceptive advertising cannot be trusted and should be avoided.

kimmysq
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Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2007 3:56 am

Post by kimmysq » Thu Sep 04, 2008 1:32 am

Baylor Bear:
I am heart broken by your message. I know your grief must be terrible, and words can't begin to describe it. I love the Lords prayer that Edel sent you. I am sending you a million hugs. I am just so sorry.
((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Kim
FET July 30th transferred 4 embies.
beta 8/11 (12dp3dt) 332
beta #2: 8/13: (14dp3dt) 888
beta #3 8/17: (19dp3dt) 11,124
1st u/s: 8/27 6wks 3 dys.. TWINS!!

msfixit03
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Posts: 55
Joined: Thu Aug 21, 2008 5:05 pm
Location: Livonia, MI

Post by msfixit03 » Thu Sep 04, 2008 2:04 am

OMG! That is just horrible. :cry: So very very sorry to hear of your sad news. No words can bring comfort, just time to grieve your little angels. Don't lose hope, it will happen one day and you will be happy again. Know that you're in everybody's prayers!
Me-35 DH-38
TTC over 3 Yrs
Endometriosis and PCOS
5 clomid cycles - BFN
4 - IUI w/Gonal F - BFN
IVF #1 - canceled. High Risk of OHSS
4 blasts frozen.
FET #1 - 12/3/08 - BFN
natural PG after FET #1 - M/C 9 weeks
FET #2 - 7/9/09 - 2 embryos - BFN

emfossum
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Post by emfossum » Thu Sep 04, 2008 3:02 am

oh my goodness...I just can't express how much I feel for you and your dh right now. I will say prayers for you that you will be able to grieve and then have the strength to get to a better place. Your little angels are watching over you, and it the love for one another her on this thread is amazing.

kez01
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Joined: Fri Feb 16, 2007 3:03 pm
Location: England

Post by kez01 » Thu Sep 04, 2008 9:53 am

I'm so so sorry for your loss. It is heartbreaking to hear your news and also overwhelming to read all the messages that have been sent. I hope you know that you and your DH are in everyones thoughts at this terrible time. I see this in my job and it never gets easy. I wish I had a golden wand that could ease your pain. I wish you and your family all my love during this sad time.

take care
Kerry xx

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