IVF and Faith

Discussion forum for those particularly interested in IVF and embryo transfer including frozen embryo transfer.
BRMommy2B
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IVF and Faith

Post by BRMommy2B » Fri Nov 20, 2009 5:20 pm

So ladies (and any gentlemen): I think one of the hardest parts about IVF is keeping up the faith, and trusting that God knows what's best for us (although it's so very frustrating when people tell us this!!!)

I wanted to start a thread for people to share their faith journeys, and things that have helped them not to lose their faith when faced with what seems like you've been forgotten about.

No matter what your religion, denomination, or beliefs, please feel free to comment and help support your sisters going through the EXACT same thing that you are! God bless!
Me: 29
DH: 32, Male Factor
4 Failed IUI
IVF #1 - BFN
FET #1 - BFP!!! DD born Sept 2010
IVF #2 - Chemical
Next: Work on improving DH and my fertility while saving up for next round. Why does something that we want so badly have to also be so expensive?

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amysbabies
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Location: NY

Post by amysbabies » Fri Nov 20, 2009 6:52 pm

After 2 m/c I still believe that God has a baby in store for us...but I don't know when. I pray that it's now, but it could be later.

I often wonder why He made it so difficult for us to have a baby and why others who don't even want babies keep getting pregnant...

I pray and I pray that He will complete our family and bless us with children. I'm in my 2ww and all I can do is believe and trust in Him that He will do what is best.
IVF1: BFP 02/08 - Chemical 4 wks.
IVF2: BFP 06/08 - Miscarriage 6 wks.
IVF3: BFP 11/09 - Chemical
IVF4: dec/jan Dear Lord..please let this be the one.

BRMommy2B
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Post by BRMommy2B » Fri Nov 20, 2009 7:55 pm

amysbabies:

I really wish we all lived in the same city so we could get together in person. Reading your post was like reading my mind! I'm praying daily for God to give me the peace to understand that He knows best, and it's so hard because I know his will and my hopes may not line up exactly!

One thing I do believe very strongly is that God would not have given me such strong maternal instincts if he did not intend to bless me with a child, so I'm just hanging on until my time comes! I look forward to keeping up with your journey and seeing you get that BFP you're hoping for!
Me: 29
DH: 32, Male Factor
4 Failed IUI
IVF #1 - BFN
FET #1 - BFP!!! DD born Sept 2010
IVF #2 - Chemical
Next: Work on improving DH and my fertility while saving up for next round. Why does something that we want so badly have to also be so expensive?

albany07
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Location: Chicago

Post by albany07 » Fri Nov 20, 2009 11:02 pm

I'm just another stubbourn pupil... The big guy above tried teaching me the lesson of keeping faith many times. Some people take longer to learn than others.

To give you a theory of mine on why people that don't want kids are blessed with them... I think god is trying to nudge them and make them realize what a blessing life is. Maybe their life depends on learning that lesson. Maybe we, who are more aware... can wait for some reason, therefore that is not the top priority for him to us. Maybe it has to do with something that will happen 10 or 20 years from now and wouldn't work for us to have kids right now in the grand scheme of things ( for example, maybe the soul that we are meant to have as a child is not available yet, maybe that soul will have a great impact on our lives or will change the course of our lives).

Enough of my rambling for now. I love this thread and can't wait for more authors...
Me 33
DH 32 low count and motility
TTC 3 years
IVF#3 - Nov '09 BFP!
Maren Laurel 20 inches 6 lbs 7oz
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BRMommy2B
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Post by BRMommy2B » Fri Nov 20, 2009 11:23 pm

albany07: So tears came to my eyes as I read what you were writing about the soul not being ready yet, but may have a great impact one day. That is putting into words something that I have thought about many times.

I believe that God is preparing us for something great, teaching us that when that beautiful child is brought into the world, we must give him or her our very best, because they have something very important to do, and we will be the ones to teach them to make the right decisions, the hard decisions, that will get them to that point in their lives. Only through what we're going through will we have that deep rooted appreciation and commitment to our children. Deep!!!
Me: 29
DH: 32, Male Factor
4 Failed IUI
IVF #1 - BFN
FET #1 - BFP!!! DD born Sept 2010
IVF #2 - Chemical
Next: Work on improving DH and my fertility while saving up for next round. Why does something that we want so badly have to also be so expensive?

amysbabies
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Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2008 12:07 pm
Location: NY

Post by amysbabies » Fri Nov 20, 2009 11:44 pm

I love this thread too..... BRmommy2b & Albany07 ... both of your posts gave me a warm feeling deep in my heart :)
IVF1: BFP 02/08 - Chemical 4 wks.
IVF2: BFP 06/08 - Miscarriage 6 wks.
IVF3: BFP 11/09 - Chemical
IVF4: dec/jan Dear Lord..please let this be the one.

karenthescorpio
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Location: Northern NJ

Post by karenthescorpio » Fri Nov 20, 2009 11:53 pm

It really would be lovely is we all lived close by so we could talk (and cry) together! What I have thought most lately about God is about how thankful I am for IVF. And that if we were led to this process, then I have faith it will work for us. When I met my husband a fews years ago, I finally felt like the pieces were falling into place that were going to be the foundation for the rest of my life. The growing old together kind of pieces. Wonderful home life. Wonderful family members. Good health. Money isn't a challenge. And to know now that we have to go through IVF to have a our own family...well...it didn't scare me at all. I really feel strongly that things will happen when they are suppose to happen. So here we are...learning more about life, eachother and the preciousness of life. It makes me feel good to know He is looking out for us. I know He will bless us again. He already has by putting us in eachother's life.
Me: 40, mild pcos
DH: 38, male factor
IVF#2 BFP! Twins! PTL at 23wks
IVF #3 Nov '10 BFP
Gemma Grace was born June 24, 2011!

sharishu
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Post by sharishu » Sat Nov 21, 2009 7:56 pm

Albany-
That was beautiful, and it I think there's a lot of truth in what you are saying; I also believe that G-d sends us the things we need to work on in life. And also, I believe in the amazing power of prayer. My prayers were answered with my amazing baby boy. I am now praying for my new miracle...

Keep the faith ladies! Thanks BR for starting this thread!

Shari
Damaged Tubes; 1st IVF- BFN; 2nd IVF-BFP, our precious son :); 3rd IVF stopped due to natural miracle BFP, then mc@8 wks.; 4th IVF: June '11- BFN :( Bring On IVF#4!

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Skylar
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Post by Skylar » Sat Nov 21, 2009 9:43 pm

I am glad you started this post brmommy2b. I want to say something that I have been feeling for awhile, I am a christian, had been for years, I never done everything I was suppose to do but, wanted to. I been trying to have a baby with my second husband non-stop for years (4 1/2 years). I kept praying to God, if I am not meant to have another child please, take this desire away from me, let me accept it. The feeling never went away, matter of fact it got worst. I wanted to give my husband his first child. Well after my last m/c, in june '09. (Which result in loosing both of my tubes.) I was horrified," why God? Why didn't you tell me not to try anymore? I would of stopped."
I know it's not my fault, but I let my husband down. (That's how I felt). I even prayed less. Then one day I realized It's not God's fault I cannot have a child, it's how my body is. I talked to my ob/gyn and she told me both of my tube were so "grossly scarred up", there was no way I was going to have another baby in those tubes.
I decided to give IVF my last try. Hopefully that will work but, if it don't, it's not God's fault, my fault or my dh fault. The sad reality is My body is unable to have another child. Yeah, that does sucks and no, It won't stop me from crying, if it doesn't work. But as for me and God I will not let our relationship be ruin over my and dh hopes and wishes. I know I will have another child later in life. In Paradise.
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albany07
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Post by albany07 » Sun Nov 22, 2009 2:54 pm

Thanks for the inpirational and enlightening messages Sharishu and Skylar. I hope more people join in, b/c different points of view help us get through this very difficult process in peace with ourselves, our partner and the outcome.
Me 33
DH 32 low count and motility
TTC 3 years
IVF#3 - Nov '09 BFP!
Maren Laurel 20 inches 6 lbs 7oz
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sharishu
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Post by sharishu » Sun Nov 22, 2009 4:33 pm

Albany-

A little confused... where are you in the whole IVF process? Two week wait?

Lots of luck!

Shari
Damaged Tubes; 1st IVF- BFN; 2nd IVF-BFP, our precious son :); 3rd IVF stopped due to natural miracle BFP, then mc@8 wks.; 4th IVF: June '11- BFN :( Bring On IVF#4!

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albany07
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Post by albany07 » Sun Nov 22, 2009 6:09 pm

Shari - yes, in 2ww. My beta is scheduled for 12/1/09. Thank you! Congratulations to you on your baby. If positive, we'll be looking at an August birth, just like you!
Me 33
DH 32 low count and motility
TTC 3 years
IVF#3 - Nov '09 BFP!
Maren Laurel 20 inches 6 lbs 7oz
ImageImage

sharishu
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Post by sharishu » Sun Nov 22, 2009 9:19 pm

Albany-

I have a good feeling about a BFP for you... sending all the positive energy your way! And now, it's really more like a 1ww.... Hang in there :)

Shari xo
Damaged Tubes; 1st IVF- BFN; 2nd IVF-BFP, our precious son :); 3rd IVF stopped due to natural miracle BFP, then mc@8 wks.; 4th IVF: June '11- BFN :( Bring On IVF#4!

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BRMommy2B
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Post by BRMommy2B » Mon Nov 23, 2009 1:41 am

Hi ladies! My devotional for the past few days has been about Thanksgiving (of course), but it has specifically been directed at people who are going through a hard time. It said how easy it is to ask, ask, ask for what you want, but it's important to remember to give thanks, even in the midst of our heartache. It seems like most of us who end up going through the IVF process are people that would be great parents, and we have lots of other great things going for us in life. All we think we need to complete it is our bundle of joy!

I want to encourage you all (and myself) to make sure we are giving thanks to God for everything he HAS given us, and thank him for the blessing that he will give us in HIS time!

God bless!
Me: 29
DH: 32, Male Factor
4 Failed IUI
IVF #1 - BFN
FET #1 - BFP!!! DD born Sept 2010
IVF #2 - Chemical
Next: Work on improving DH and my fertility while saving up for next round. Why does something that we want so badly have to also be so expensive?

BRMommy2B
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Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2009 12:52 am

Post by BRMommy2B » Mon Nov 23, 2009 1:42 am

And by the way, I'm thankful for all of YOU!!!
Me: 29
DH: 32, Male Factor
4 Failed IUI
IVF #1 - BFN
FET #1 - BFP!!! DD born Sept 2010
IVF #2 - Chemical
Next: Work on improving DH and my fertility while saving up for next round. Why does something that we want so badly have to also be so expensive?

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