I'm here, I'm here. I'm so sorry to worry you all. I've been reading and keeping up as much as possible...but it's been a crazy busy long and sad week here. First...I had my SIL (sis-in-law) and her kids over helping me with Zach all week, then my aunt was here on Friday, neighbor friend on Saturday and then we got bad news Sat night. Having people over to help with Zach was a bad idea. I ended up doing everything anyways...to show them what to do...cause no one had a clue, since they're never here and we never have sitters. So between entertaining and doing everything myself...I never had any time to really get online and sit down and write for an hour or more. Yes, it takes me that long. Not only do I not type well to begin with...but with missing keys (Thanks Zach!) ...it is even tougher to write. This will likely take me close to 2 hours to type. lol No kidding.
Saturday night...just when I think things will be calming down...my SIL called me crying hysterically...her step-dad whom raised her...fell from a tree (trimming them for her Grandparents), broke his neck, and passed away. So I have been helping her out by helping her plan the whole funeral and letting her call me every 5 minutes to vent about everything because everything is falling back on her cause her mother and siblings are completely incapable. I have to tell you though that for the moment when she first called...my heart hit my stomach...I thought she was calling because my little brother had died (he has been having issues with blackout like seizures for the past 2 yrs and no one knows why). It felt like an eternity before she could tell me that it was her dad....which is bad enough....but the heartattack I went through waiting to hear who it was...as I knew by the crying that someone had died. Calling hours/funeral are Wednesday...the same day that my husband Bill lost his brother 4 years ago. I was gonna test that day...but re-thinking that now.
Yeah, not holding out hope this month for a successful pregnancy now. It seems like there is always some sort of drama going on during each cycle. Bill even asked me last night...what is up with our luck? My other brothers house was burning to the ground while I was going through one of my IUI's (all 7 children, parents, pets got out in the nick of time (bday slumber party))...I literally got the call at 7 am while in the docs office. Bill had surgery during one of my IUI's and I spent the next 2 nights after IUI in a hospital chair. My aunt (raised me after my mom passed away) was in the hospital during my cycle right after getting pregnant with Zach...that one worked out okay...but I was also about 8 weeks along or so. My FET in April...Zach had surgery and we all got strep throat...I miscarried that week. See a pattern?
I wish my PMA was better...I hate that normally I am very very optimistic person about everything...but I have this awful feeling this time that I cant shake. I also know that the odds that every single IVF cycle is not going to work...and being 2 for 2 getting pregnant (1 miscarriage)...means that this one will likely be the BFN cycle. I even went as far as to call the clinic to find out when I can start again. Looks like my next ER/ET (if this doesnt work out)...will be Oct 1st and 4th. Yeah...the nurse gave me the riot act already about giving up on this cycle. She said in my charts that the embryos were listed as "okay" this cycle and compared that to the term "good" as they called them with Zach's cycle. She seemed hopeful though since we did put back 4.
Anyhow...now that I have all that out of the way...I hope that I can keep up with everyone and not get so behind this time. I find it easier to write personals several times a day...rather than trying to play catch up all the time.
...Good Luck today!!! Hoping and praying for a very successful ER. Let us know how everything goes when you can. Oh my, that video killed me too...bawling like a baby. The little santa girl put me over the edge. How is DH doing after his TESA?
By the way girls...I would love to add you girls to my FB page. I have a few others from this board already on my friends list. There are actually alot of us whom have gone through IVF in my friends list....from here, my local mommy's board, and in real life. Because of that and the fact that all of my family and friends know anyways...I am open about our IVF journey on my FB, but...I do not say anything towards the others to call them out and only let them mention it only if they want to by their comments. So no worries there. PM me and I will send you my full name to find me.
...I totally think you should poas Wed/Thurs...otherwise if you find out on the ship...we wont know for.ev.er will we? lol How has your PMA been this cycle?
...I am sooo very happy for you!!! I was jumping for joy when I read your news. Congrats on your little boy...as we all know that you will be pregnant this cycle!
Any boy names yet? lol Are you going to poas?
...not much longer now...hang in there. And, yes ...I am an emotional mess this week.
...Woohooo!!! Let's get this party started! Have you heard back from your clinic? Are you having your baseline this morning?
Jenna and kbillsy
...Good Luck today!!! I am praying for your BFP's!
Cakes and Renee
...Congratulations what awesome news!!! I am sooo happy for you both! Good Luck today as well!!!
...I am sooo excited to see your betas going up! Please God...continue to rise!! Good Luck today and tomorrow!
...I've missed you! Glad your having a great trip! Now...no more trips after this without the laptop
...it is too hard on us! lol Were you checking for you surge 2xs a day...they say even at 2xs a day...you can still miss it. Opk's are the devil and even worse than poas in my opinion.
Karin and Chili
...What's new? How are you all doing?
...Hope you are feeling better now! We have the same beta day...and I cant believe it is still 1 week away. My clinic makes us wait sooo long and then a week between each one. It sucks.
...I cant wait to hear about your BFP tomorrow!! I'm secretly hoping that you poas and tell us the good news today! lol Lou...I never got implantation cramping this cycle either and think I did with Zach's cycle...maybe we slept through it?! lol
...Thankyou for donating your meds to some of the girls...that was very kind of you.
...Good Luck on Thursday!!!
...Beta tomorrow! Are you going to poas today? I am dying to see some BFP's!!! Your symptoms sound promising! Hoping and praying sooo hard for you and the other girls, too. Good Luck tomorrow!
Didi, Ann, and Sunshine
...How is everything going? Updates please!
...How are you doing? When is your beta?
Nanci and Rebecca
...Grow follies Grow! Any idea on when ER is? Rebecca...what they are doing is perfectly normal...no worries.
...love the new ticker!
...many women get pregnant with FET and not fresh cycles...everyone is different. My thinking is that if they can make it to freeze and through thaw they will make it in you as well. Please stick around ...so we can root you on in your next cycle. Sorry again about your chemical...it sucks and you have been on my mind alot. I am also praying for peace for you and DH. This is the time to turn to each other and hold on tight. You will be a mommy and daddy soon...I just know it. Also, you did nothing to hurt your baby...my doc told me ...do not blame yourself...everyone naturally does that...and nothing we did made it happen. It just happens to the best of us. 1 in 4 women miscarry (infertile or not)...often so early that they arent even aware of it. It's unfortunately very common ...and the good news is that it often leads to a very successful pregnancy later on. And, it does not mean that it will happen again either. So hang in there!
...How are you doing? You have also been on my mind alot. Fill us in on what is new with you.
...Have a great trip to Myrtle Beach...we actually went twice in May cause we got flights on a promotional deal for $15 each way. lol Have fun and Happy Anniversary! Love the new picture! Will you be able to check in with us while gone? Hope so.
...Any sign of AF yet?
... How are you doing? You are right it is crazy what we go through and very unfair too. Hugs.
Well, Zach is awake...gotta run! Love and hugs to you all!!! May this board have some very positive news this week! xoxo