Jayne - It is a very high beta, mine was 267 15 dpo. I knew my progesterone level and it was the high progesterone level that made RE worry we were having twins. But you never know until your U/S, and progesterone higher than 40 is good. I guess you are suffering because you are still having the OHSS, but I really think it will fade away when you are around 6 weeks.
Leora - Thanks for everything you wrote, the problem for us is that 95% of docs we met after the loss don't think the loss was as a result of a cervical issue (even though I had a procedure some years ago. So this makes it hard not to say frustrating that the reason we were told to have the reduction is because of their fear the cervix is involved.
Kynlee - Thanks for your prayers and warm wonderful words as always, you are such a good friend.
To_have_fun - Ethically and emotionally of course we would naturally think not to do the reduction but we don't necessarily feel that it would be emotionally or ethically better to knowingly put both babies in danger after what we heard yesterday. On the contrary, after experiencing 1 late loss the thought of another one and the guilt we would feel - I don't know "which guilt" is "better":(
Nicole - Thank you so much for everything you wrote, you are amazing me, you are so strong and determined! I'm inspired just by listening to you already planning your next steps.
Wehavehope - Thanks for understanding. How weird is feeling so attached to both the small ones when they're just 10 weeks? I made something wrong when I kept on talking to the little one convincing him to grow and catch up with the bigger baby. I should have remembered what this would mean for us.
Lyd - Thank you! Is there a choice in such a case that really feels right - ever?
Andsasha - Thanks, I am truly blessed with all the support I get here I don't know what I would do without it. My husband seems to be dealing better than me this time, maybe because for men it does take longer to bond with the LOs when they're still so little.
Ninde - Thanks for everything you wrote, I do feel more responsible when considering the need for a decision all day long and thinking of all the wonderful women I met on our journey. I don't only consider this decision in terms of us wanting to have twins after such a long time trying and numberless losses, I think of the LOs in terms of babies, not just ours, and how precious they are and that feeling is all the more stronger because of all of you here.
RE called me back, he remembered our birth story and he thinks we should attempt to keep them both with a cerclage. I told him a cerclage was the plan even with a singleton because even though it didn't seem to have anything to do with my cervix nobody knows for sure. He gave me the name of another specialist and said we should at least discuss it with her. He was indecisive and although he understood me totally when I explained my hesitation of having a reduction because of just how terrible a thing it is, he said something from his point of view that I should also try to keep them because it takes so long for us to get pregnant in the first place. I was shocked, I was sure he would immediately say we need to go with reduction. So I'm trying now to schedule a meeting with this other specialist, but i know that even if we chose to try and keep them both - is it really the more ethical thing to do? If she will tell me the same as our MFM from yesterday, I think I also have a responsibility not to risk the life of both babies, while trying to save them both "for our sake" mostly.
Me - 35 (found about APS after PTL)
DH - 34 (0% morph)
10/10 # 1 IVF (ICSI) - chemical
12/10 # 1 FET - chemical
02/11 # 2 IVF (IMSI/ICSI) - BFP - PTL at 22 weeks 5 days
11/11 # 2 FET - BFP - no HB, D&C
02/12 # 3 IVF - BFN
04/12 # 4 IVF - BFN