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Might be the end of the road for me...

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Might be the end of the road for me...

Postby CT_Michele » Wed Dec 14, 2011 1:44 am

Oh I am depressed and I have no one to talk to but you ladies!

DH went for his 3rd tese today, this time in the hospital OR. It didn't go well. Uroligist claimed to see nothing, so went into both sides and packed it up for me to drive to the clinic. I was having panic attacks and felt like I wanted to vomit the entire 40 minute drive to the clinic and back knowing that this might be it. I am all set for ER tomorrow at 10am, but worst case scenario might happen...no sperm!

I talked to my lab around 5 tonight and they looked for 2 hours and only saw 2 dead sperm. They are going to let it sit over night and recheck in the morning, hoping to see some "twitchers." So I will show up there at 9am and find out our fate. No viable sperm, and no desire to use donor sperm means the end of the round for us.

I know, it's not over until the fat lady sings, but she is certainly warming up her vocal chords tonight! Please pray for me. I know I am blessed to have my one beautiful little girl, but we have tried so hard for number 2 and have failed so much. I just want one last fighting chance. If it is not meant to be, I know it won't be...but please let me make it to transfer day with something! How miserable this is going to be with a dh who is down for the count right now in extreme pain, and me taking all these meds for possibly not even a retrieval. I seriously want to throw up it makes me so sick to my stomach just thinking about it.
Me- 28 DH- 33 Male Factor
1st IVF- 12/07- BFP! Ella Michele was born 8/26/8
2nd IVF- 04/09 - BFN
1st FET- 09/09 - Chemical
3rd IVF - 04/11 - Embies didn't make it to ET
4th IVF - Fall 2011??
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Re: Might be the end of the road for me...

Postby Ghost » Wed Dec 14, 2011 1:50 am

Best of luck. I know of one success story where we just had to keep looking. Finally found one on the third or fourth try.
Note: I am not an MD and not an expert.
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Re: Might be the end of the road for me...

Postby CT_Michele » Wed Dec 14, 2011 2:02 am

Thanks...the lab definitely works for their money every time we do this. I was told last time it took 3 hours to find 8 decent ones. But the numbers and quality appear to get worse each time. If you get a chance, I posted a question on another thread for you.
Me- 28 DH- 33 Male Factor
1st IVF- 12/07- BFP! Ella Michele was born 8/26/8
2nd IVF- 04/09 - BFN
1st FET- 09/09 - Chemical
3rd IVF - 04/11 - Embies didn't make it to ET
4th IVF - Fall 2011??
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Location: Connecticut

Re: Might be the end of the road for me...

Postby Happy Bunny » Wed Dec 14, 2011 2:15 am

Can they freeze your eggs the way that women who are being treated for cancer save theirs? If the eggs are saved maybe they can try things to improve your husband's sperm and when some is found, use the eggs.

You'll be in my thoughts. *hugs*
Barbara
Me: 38 2X Ectopic; DH: 38 MF
IVF #1 ET 10/11/10 BFP Brooke Marie
IVF #2 ET 11/11/11 BFP Travis James

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Re: Might be the end of the road for me...

Postby CT_Michele » Wed Dec 14, 2011 2:17 am

My husband has actually been taking HCG injections for the past 6 months to try and improve sperm. It's definitely not an egg issue for me. Wouldn't be worth freezing these eggs. After this, we will have to decide if we want to use donor sperm, in which case we could just do an insemination.
Me- 28 DH- 33 Male Factor
1st IVF- 12/07- BFP! Ella Michele was born 8/26/8
2nd IVF- 04/09 - BFN
1st FET- 09/09 - Chemical
3rd IVF - 04/11 - Embies didn't make it to ET
4th IVF - Fall 2011??
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CT_Michele
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Posts: 1744
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Location: Connecticut

Re: Might be the end of the road for me...

Postby dogzrule » Wed Dec 14, 2011 3:50 am

Michele, I am so sorry but am hoping for a miracle for you tomorrow!
Me-36,DH-43
1st IVF July 2009 - BFP! 9dp5dt: 31;11dp5dt: 77;14dp5dt: 214; 18dp5dt: 548; 21dp5dt: 1883. DD born 3/30/2010
1st FET July 2011- BFP! 8/3 beta: 178, 8/5 beta 455. DD born 4/4/2012
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Re: Might be the end of the road for me...

Postby Neffi211 » Wed Dec 14, 2011 3:59 am

Michele--
I am so sorry that things did not go the way you had hoped. I will be thinking about you tomorrow! Please keep us updated and remember to always look at Ella's face to make you feel better!
Me 32 DH 31
DS 3rd try
8 failed cycles
No luck with adoption
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DS 7/23/14 IUI after Celiac diagnosis
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