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Feb/Mar 2012 Cycle Buddies

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Feb/Mar 2012 Cycle Buddies

Postby timber5k » Thu Feb 16, 2012 4:49 am

Hi all - it's been a long time since I've posted - almost a year ago. I posted to the Feb/Mar 2011 Cycles Buddies thread a bit last year. It has been nice to go back through those threads and really remember how I was feeling emotionally and physically. I've really blocked out quite a lot.

I started my first IVF cycle last February. I had 12 eggs retrieved, 8 of which fertilized, and suffered from early OHSS. My RE transferred only 1 embryo to try to minimize the OHSS if I got pregnant. I did get pregnant, but suffered fairly severe OHSS. Was out of work for 2 weeks, had to be drained twice, was totally miserable and in pain. Finally, the OHSS started to clear up and I was able to enjoy my pregnancy. I struggled with telling anyone that I was pregnant because I was so scared that something would go wrong. But after much convincing from my DH, I told close friends and family. I saw the heartbeat a couple of times at the RE's office. Everything looked perfect and I was cleared to my regular OB. Scheduled an appt for the next week with my regular OB and after having multiple ultrasounds, got to hear the doctor say, "Man, on days like this, I really hate my job." The baby had stopped growing and there was no heartbeat. At 9 weeks, I suffered a "missed miscarriage." It was absolutely devastating. I just couldn't sign back on to the forum. 2011 was a TERRIBLE year. Before I had ever dealt with trying to get pregnant, I had known people who had miscarriages, and while I felt badly for them, I didn't really understand what they were going through. When you become pregnant, you already have a baby. You're just carrying it inside of you. You're already planning your life with him/her and you've already started a relationship of sorts. And then when you find out that the baby was taken away, it is just unbearable. I had to have a D&C a week later and I felt so guilty. I wondered if the doctor was wrong and just wasn't reading the ultrasound correctly, and I would be accidentally ending the baby's life. Or I racked my brain trying to think of what I did wrong during the 9 weeks that my baby was alive. Was it that glass of diet iced tea? Or was I stressing out when I shouldn't have been?

Later that summer, we tried an FET. We had 6 frozen embryos, and after thawing, only two of them were really viable. So we did an FET with the two embryos, and after the agonizing 2WW, we had a BFN. We took some time off and I decided that the beginning of 2012 would be a good place to start again. So I started follistim and menopur at the beginning of February. The RE had to reduce the dose quite a bit as compared to last time to try to avoid OHSS. Even though all of my blood tests, follicles, uterine lining, etc., looked perfect, he recommended using a Lupron trigger instead of hcg to prevent OHSS from happening again. I had my ER on 2/14 and they retrieved 15 eggs, 11 of which fertilized. 3 more than last time!

I had a very painful day yesterday after the ER and I'm curious to know how other people react to the ER? I'm afraid I might have early OHSS again and am hoping that it goes away by Friday, which is supposed to be my day 3 transfer. I definitely do not want to go through severe OHSS again, but I'm also fearful that if I have to wait a month to do an FET, that it won't be successful again. At least when I had OHSS last year, I was pregnant. I don't even know if you can get OHSS with a Lupron trigger, but I feel very similarly to how I felt last year. Abdominal pain, difficulty lying down, difficulty standing up straight and walking.

Anyway, that's my story and it's therapeutic to document it. Looking forward to reading other people's stories.
timber5k
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