Andsasha: I totally understand how you feel, and yet it hurts my heart to hear you say it all the same. Infertility, for me, has been about the same as a death that I have had to cope with, except that it's ongoing.
I just looked through the pages, and so far, all of us are already Mommies. I didn't know if I would survive without my daughter (that probably sounded much more dramatic than reality; not like I was suicidal or anything, but I think you ladies know what i mean). This time around, I want another baby very much, but I know I will SURVIVE if our sweet little girl is all that God has planned for us. Now, that said, I'm also hoping that this peace I have about me will make me more receptive; I know the stress can't be helpful at all! I have completely given this up to God. My husband sometimes struggles with the religious aspect of all of this, because he is Catholic, and the church is against it. My response to him is that I've given it up to God completely. If this is not how God wants us to bring a baby into the world, then it won't happen, and if it is, then it will. For me, it's easy, because I know none of us are really in control anyway.
Sorry for the ramble, but I've had all of that on my mind lately.
DH: 32, Male Factor
4 Failed IUI
IVF #1 - BFN
FET #1 - BFP!!! DD born Sept 2010
IVF #2 - Chemical
Next: Work on improving DH and my fertility while saving up for next round. Why does something that we want so badly have to also be so expensive?