Our 1st IVF

[NervousHubby]

Hi Everyone,
I'm not sure how many other halves post here, but I'd at least like to be one. My wife and I start our 1st IVF cycle in 2 weeks. We've been ttc for 4 1/2 years. Lots of failed clomid, 3 failed IUI. Our infertility is currently unexplained. We're both very nervous and not very hopeful. The worst part is when our doctor told us this is the final thing they can do. We're glad to have found this board and look forward to giving and getting support. Is there anything anybody would recommend I do to help her get through this? And, are there any other guys here who have any advice to help us get through this?

[AMck]

Hello nervous hubby and welcome to the site.
If you join the general forum you will find lots of ladies (and a few gents!) who will willingly share their stories and advise. You can ask any questions and there will almost always be someone who can help!

My advise would be to take one step at a time, keep talking to each other and read the Zita West book 'Fertility and conception', which explains very clearly the process of IVF. Other than that to try and keep relaxed, which is much easier said then done

I was sorry to see that the dr said that IVf was the last thing they could do. There are many ways to concieve including ICSI, donor eggs etc... Please don't give up. You will find plenty of PMA on the boards here! (positive mental attitude)

You don't say how old you are, but there are threads on the forum for every age group, you may like to join one of them, or the 'new year buddies' where others are going through IVF in January like you.

Sending you and your wife PMA
Good luck with your tmt

Anna x

[NervousHubby]

Thank you for the quick reply. I am 37 and my wife is 36. We actually will be doing a blastocyst transfer. I've read some very good things about this and we're being cautiously optimistic. We're going to go away for the New Year weekend, relax and then gear up for our 1st cycle.

[souris]

Hi nervous hubby and welcome here!

I am wishing you a very good new year, i hope you will have a great week end. wishing you the best with your IVF,

take care
souris
xxx

[KC_TTC]

it sounds like we were in the same boat as you. being "undiagnosed" is really frustrating.

we went through IVF and were successful. we did have a cancelled cycle, so that was hard, but the second time was much better.

this is a very emotional process and it seems that everyday is a new hurdle to overcome. my hubby attended every single doctor's appointment and was very calm whenever we received bad news. i don't think i could have dealt with comforting him and me. it's important to be strong and stay positive for your wife - hubby told me plenty of times that not everything ends up being bad news - i wanted to smack him, but he tried to keep me feeling like everything was a failure.

good luck to you both.

[k]

Hi Nervous Hubby

I found the whole cycle more emotionally demanding than physically demanding. I had a very good friend I let off steam to during my treatment (I was pregnant before I found this website). I also tried to make sure there was nothing else too stressful in my life at that time and had regular massages and Acupuncture (Which Im personally convinced helped me get pregnant). Keep talking, go easy on yourselves and take it one step at a time. We seemed to have a problem at every stage of our treatment, either not responding to drugs, slow to start producing follicles and only 4 fertilised out of 12, but we got there in the end!
You will both find plenty of support on this website and even though not many men do post, you are very welcome and will get a lot of help, advice and support anyway.
Good luck with your cycle and enjoy your time away at New Year!
Love Kim

[Molly B]

Hi Nervous Husband,
My husband and I seem to be in exactly the same boat as you and your wife. We have unexplained infertility, are about the same age as you and have recently undergone our first cycle of IVF following failed IUI and clomid cycles. To be honest with you, the IVF cycle wasn't nearly as bad as I had anticipated and I think that having had IUI was very good preparation. I hope that you and your wife find it the same. The biggest support for me was my husband coming to ever appointment with me- that way it really seemed as though we were going through it together and he had a better understanding of the whole process and why I was feeling as I was. In addition to the Zita West book, a book that you and your wife might find useful is called "Natural Solutions to Infertility" by Marilyn Glanville. It has useful information on diet and vitamin supplements etc.
This discussion forum is also a brilliant support- not just for letting off steam and emotions but by learning from other people's experiences.
I wish you both all the best with the treatment.
Molly B

[NervousHubby]

Thank you all so much for your support! I'll definitely keep everyone posted. We'll hopefully start in about 2 weeks.

[HubbyTOO]

Hi there Nervous Hubby, came across this site after surfing the net and since my wife and I just went thru our first IVF cycle... I thought I'd post a reply in support of you both. I think it was helpful for my wife by having me go to each of her appointments, read all the material with her and talk about it together. I also chose to do all of the mixing for her and helped her take her shots by providing her with support (and some back rubs) after each shot. I think any woman that goes thru this time in her life deserves only the most admiration and love. I'm happy to say that our first round was successful and we go for our first ultra-sound on Tuesday, Jan. 17th. We also find out if their is more than one ....

All the best to you and your wife, I hope to hear from you again soon.

Another Hubby in San Francisco

[bubblymichelle]

I just want to say hello and welcome, you will get so much support from male and female here, I wish you all the luck in the world
Shell.
xx

[NervousHubby]

Thank you again For all the support. We transferred 2 blastocyst embryos 24 hours ago. Now, let the miserable 2 week wait begin.

[Smita]

Good Luck,
Join the general forum and theres a thread for hubbies called 'dhs united' or something, if you want to chat..

smita

[seepi]

good luck!
I would be happy that you are doing IVF. It has MUCH higher success rates than IUI, so I think it is a good thing to move onto IVF - I wish we'd done it sooner.
OUr second IVF was successful I find the waiting/hoping the hardest part.
Be kind to your wife!
I appreciated my partner coming to appointments if they were early or I didn't feel like driving, but I didn't always feel I needed him there. But i did appreciate foot rubs/going out for dinner/movies - something nice to take my mind of the endless waiting.
Best wishes to both of you
seepi

[AMck]

Goodluck on your 2ww!
Maybe join the general forum to chat with others at the same stage of tmt as you!

When is your test date? Will be watching for your news

Anna x

[JenC]

I found IVF to be challenging all the way around. Mentally, physically and emotionally. There were times when I wanted to give up because there were so many shots and it was tiring being at the doctor's office everyday for a painful ultra sound... (when there are a lot of follies) I'm also a big chicken and can't stand the site of needles so every night I had to talk myself into it. It takes a lot of you.

Don't let your wife give up....ever. Both of you remain strong, keep a positive mental attitude and support her as much as you can.