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We are all strong women!

Postby tinaviju » Wed Feb 22, 2006 1:22 am

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Last edited by tinaviju on Tue Dec 18, 2012 11:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Macca8 » Wed Feb 22, 2006 10:29 am

Tina,

Good for you taking time out and expressing your feelings. They will be the same over for all the infertile ladies. I too have been to the anger, sad, distraught and then I wake up with renewed strength.

When I was 26 I became pregnant naturally. I had made it to 12 weeks with great excitement. My family were so overjoyed. Then I went for the first scan at 14 weeks and my dreams were trashed. I was devasted, it was dead. I tried so hard to keep myself together and positive. My midwife which I had become very close to came to see me to comfort me but she was so angry. She had just left the home of a 14 year old heroin junkie that was 8 months pregnant. This kid did not even know who the father was as she was so drugged up at the time, it could have been anyone. The baby, once born would have to be weened off heroin. My midwife Carol was so angry that she was watching this happen and yet there I was, married happily, nice home, good job, didn't smoke, never drank and for some reason God was taking my little one away? Why???
I was a devout catholic, I was educated in a convent school. I never caused any harm to anyone so I couldn't find any reason why he would do this to me, but he did and I accepted it. Unfortuantely years later my husband and I divorced but have remained excellent friends.

I remarried 3 years ago and again I am faced with the same thing, my new husband had a vasectomy previously and IVF was our only way forward. I've done it 3 times now. First 2 times I became pregnant and again lost the pregnancy, the last time the embryos died the day of the ET.
I think I am going to go again in April or May, maybe!

I liked the poem about god and a lot of it I'm sure is true.
I wish you all the best and hope you will find peace in whatever decision you make.
Me 37, DH 51
Twin Boys - Sean Alexander & Samuel Robert
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Postby tinaviju » Wed Feb 22, 2006 5:27 pm

Hi Lisa,
Thanks for your reply.It meant a lot as I had written out my hurt heart in the email and you responded,inspite of your own losses. You had a real rough and tough time.If not becoming pregnant hurts this much,I don't want to think how much a miscarriage hurts!But you have kept the faith through it all.Trust me this faith will be rewarded in some way.The pain will be replaced with joy.We just have to stay strong(which is the hard part).I still feel little mean today.I feel bad feeling like this but I think it is because I am hurting.Now I am trying to stop my private pity party and get on with life..I have only one frozen embryo left from the last cycle.I don't know if it will survive thawing.I can do the FET cycle this month.But I wanted to have some time for my body to come back to normal and feel normal again after all the medication and injections.So maybe I will wait a month .Meanwhile I will try to loose some pounds,eat healthy,think positive,become stronger and recharge.That's all we can do.
Lisa were the doctors able to find the cause for your miscarriages.I think that holds the key to your success story.You are able to get pregnant ,but have problem staying pregnant.I had a friend and an aunt who had 3-4 miscarriages and were absolutely shattered.It took some time to find out why it was happening.And sometimes it turned out to be small things like blood group types.But once they found out the cause they were able to treat it and now one has 3 kids and one has 1 kid.This is just my 2 cents .I am no doctor but feel like i have a phd in infertility!I am sure all of us feel like that.I will pray for you Lisa.God may put us through stormy weather but is with us through it all and will lead us out to the rainbow.Once again thanks for your reply.You are indeed a strong woman!Take Care.Love Tina
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Postby hope4baby » Wed Feb 22, 2006 11:41 pm

Hi,
It is so moving to read and feel your pain. I have gone through IVF but had to abort the pregnancies twice. Oh god tear would not stop for days. Hopefully there is an anwer to all our prayer. Good luck and stay strong
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Postby runutsbc » Tue Mar 07, 2006 2:49 am

Hi Tina: I just read your posting and want to say I'm sorry for your sad feelings. Thank you for the lovely ending message as it gave me the strength I needed today. I just found out my pregancy test was negative and I cried like a baby. I needed some support and found it from dh and FROM YOU and the various messages I just read. THANK YOU for helping. :0)
PS it was my first IVF and I plan to try a second. :0)
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Postby Sita » Tue Mar 07, 2006 11:03 pm

Hi Tina,

I am moved after reading the messages above. I felt exactly like you felt when I found out that I had a BFN on my 1st IVF cycle last year. 2005 was so difficult for me as I also lost my darling father a few months before the scheduled IVF. My father was so looking forward to a grandchild and I was so angry and guilty that I was faced with an infertility problem and could not make his and our dreams a reality. I could not tell my father (who was bedridden and blinded through diabetes) that I could have children because of infertility problems. When he died I felt so hollow and broken. When the IVF did not work I felt distroyed and was dipressed.

After having a long break and a nice holiday I am now ready for a 2nd IVF try in April. I am hoping and praying that the IVF cycle will be successful. I am inspired by your message above and this whole IVF experience has made both my DH and me closer and stronger.

I am sure God is looking over us and I believe in the saying "Good things come to those you wait". I am sure all of us will be blessed one day. We have to stay positive for each other.

Lots of love and good luck !!
Sita
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Thank you for your encouraging post

Postby HopeFaith » Tue Mar 14, 2006 9:59 pm

Hello Tina,

Thank you so much for your encouraging post. I just found out that i've miscarried last week and it's been really tough on myself and my DH. It was so comforting to read your post. You put aside your own pain to encourage other women. That's extremely commendable. Most of us are too busy wallowing in our own pain and losses, but what you've done is extremely courageous. This was my third IVF. First was a failure, second I miscarried in my 12th week and third miscarried during the 5th week. There was basically no fetal growth.
This forum has been a great resource for all kinds of information.
I hope things work out for you and us all very soon.
Good Luck!
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