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Will they refuse me treatment!?! Please help!!

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Will they refuse me treatment!?! Please help!!

Postby Corinna » Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:21 am

Firstly, hello. I am new to this site. I am 30 years old and about to start ICSI treatment with my husband (hopefully!!)
I have a 13 year old daughter who is the apple of my eye. I had her when I was 17 to my first boyfriend who turned out to be a rat!! Since then have had 2 ectopic pregnancies which resulted in the loss of both of my tubes. As my hubbie also has a low sperm count, ICSI is the best option for us. Because I have a child already, we aren't eligable for NHS treatment (which is TOTALLY right), so we have been saving for years and are now in the position were we can afford a couple of attempts. :D
My fear is that they will turn me down for treatment based on the "welfare of the child assessment". The reason why I think this is because my daughter was taken into foster care when she was 3 months old. Her Father left me when she was 5 weeks old & I had to go into a Mother & Baby hostel because I had nowhere to live. (My mother disowned me when I became pregnant & we still don't really speak). She was taken into Foster care because I was 17 and really couldn't cope. I had no support network and I was extremely depressed. They took her on the grounds that they were giving me some "me time", altho I visited her at her Foster home everyday and was utterly lost without her. She came back to me after 4 months.
I have also suffered with panic attacks for several years following my ectopic pregnancies (they really messed my head up :cry: ). Also, shortly after the ectopic's, my Dad committed suicide.
I am worried that they will refuse me treatment on the grounds that I have anxiety and beacuse my daughter was in foster care..
Please let me know what you think. I have been waiting to start this treatment for years and I'll be distraught if they refuse it.. :cry:
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Postby JESS FITZ » Thu Mar 30, 2006 3:05 pm

CORINNA,
HI AND WELCOME! YOU WILL GET ALOT OF SUPPORT HERE.
I'M NOT TO SURE ABOUT NOT ALLOWING YOU TO GET YOUR ICSI TREATMENT. IM IN THE USA AND WHEN I HAD MY FIRST IVF THEY DIDNT CHECK ANY BACK HISTORY OF ANYTHING LIKE THAT. I'M NOT TO SURE.
I ALSO, HAVE 2 CHILDREN WITH MY EX. AND NOW WITH MY CURRENT HUSBAND I HAD 1 MISCARRIAGE AND 2 ECTOPIC PREGS AND LOST BOTH MY TUBES SO WE DID 1 IVF ATTEMPT BUT IT DIDNT WORK OUT FOR US AND PLANNING TO DO OUR NEXT IN MAY. HOPEFULLY SOMEONE ELSE CAN HELP YOU OUT ON HERE WITH YOUR WORRIES.
GOODLUCK AND I WISH YOU THE BEST! I'M SURE EVERYTHING WILL GO JUST FINE WITH THAT! TAKE CARE! JESS :)
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Postby Corinna » Thu Mar 30, 2006 3:46 pm

Hi Jess,

Thanks so much for the reply.

I couldn't actually wait any longer, so I rang the clinic earlier & spoke to one of the nurses who was lovely & very helpful. I explained my situation to her and she doesn't forsee there being a problem with my treatment. My little girl was in foster care 13 years ago when I was a baby myself, so she said that they will undoubtadly disregard that.
It wasn't that I was a "bad Mum", I was just very young and unprepared for all the trials that Motherhood brings. That changes as you get older and Abbie is now by best friend.
I am now feeling much better about the treatment and cant wait to get started!! (Abbie can't wait for a baby sister or brother either!!) :D

xx
Corinna
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Postby JESS FITZ » Fri Mar 31, 2006 3:07 am

CORINNA,
NO I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU WERE COMING FROM AT 17 YRS. OLD. THE SAME THING WITH MY SISTER. I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW I WASNT LOOKING AT YOU AS A BAD MOM.
KEEP US POSTED WITH YOUR TREATMENT AND LOTS OF LUCK TO YOU! JESS
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Postby vessi » Sun Apr 02, 2006 8:13 pm

I am also in the states but I don' think any private institution will reguse IVF! You pay for it, you get it, right? Maybe elsewhere in the world they do background checks. In the USA- nope, just blood work, signing consent form, pay and you are good to go:)
Even if they checked, I am sure your past will not have grounds for such a refusal.
Good Luck!

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Postby dave jo24 » Sun Apr 02, 2006 9:52 pm

sweetheart dont worry.they wont refuse you treatment.you are now in a stable relationship.your daughter is with you,and if there was any doubt about your ability to be a good parent she wouldnt be!as you said,you were a baby yourself at that time.i hope your treatment goes well,and you end up with a bfp.if you are at all worried,speak to your own gp.(im sure thats who completes the welfare of the child form)keep us informed how you are doing.good luck with the treatment.xxx :D
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