Sister as donor

[JDC]

I'm planning on doing a donor cycle this year with my sister as the donor. I'll be 38 by the time we cycle and she will hopefully still be 31. I was just wondering how the experience was for other people? I've had 3 failed ivfs myself with poor egg quality and ovarian dysfunction. I see my RE on friday, but we will have to wait a few months to get started due to financial/insurance reasons. The hardest part for me right now is the having to wait to get started! I'm hoping we can take care of any preliminary testing for her and maybe get our cycles sychronized? My sis is already on birth control pills...I'm hoping that's good not bad.

Anyway, any experiences and input would be greatly appreciated!

[Sara30]

Hi JDC

I have just done a cycle using eggs donated from my sister, we have had to have counselling through our clinic to ensure we were all fully aware of the thoughts and feelings that the process could evoke and how we think we would cope with theemotional side of it and so on. I did struggle to begin with, with things like, will the baby feel like my child? Will I love the baby? Can I get over the fact its not my eggs? I had a fantastic doctor who talked through lots of things with me, and once I got my head around all these feelings and decided to go ahead with it all my worries melted away. I did get pregnant and all I can say is that as soon as I knew I was pregnant I fell in love with my baby straight away and she felt like my baby, sadly I miscarried and again I felt just as devastated losing her as I did when I lost my own babies. My sister and I have always been close but this has brought us even closer together.
Like you I have poor egg quality, well literally have none left really due to premature ovarian failure. The last cycle I tried I produced no eggs on max stims.
We have 4 embryos frozen and so are trying for a FET on 10th march, I wish you all the luck in the world and will look forward to hearing about your BFP!!!
Sisters can be amazing and we are very lucky to have the ones we have xxxx

[JDC]

Sara30 - thanks so much for you input...we are so lucky to have such wonderful sisters. Mine lives in Fla. and I'm in Jersey, so it will take some extra coordination on my clinics part. As far as the feelings, I have gone through a bunch of different feelings leading up to this point. Mostly I had to mourn the losses - of the pregnancies, but also accepting that I will not conceive with my own eggs. My RE has been gently pushing for DE with me since he did my first ultrsound and saw only a few antral follicles, so I've had about a year to think about it and accept it.

I'm so sorry to hear you m/c with DE - that is not something I would not expect and must have been such a shock and devastating. But thank goodness you have some frosties. I wish you all the best with your upcoming FET!

Jill

[Sara30]

Hi Jill

Yes, I have had the same feelings as well, accepting the fact I cannot concieve with my own eggs. I also had a while to think about it as my consult mentioned it to me sometime ago before we even did the first treatment he said it could be a possibility. I am just amazed at how my goalposts have changed over the years!! It sounds like we have trodden a similar path over the years!!

Once again good luck with your cycle

Lee xx