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just relax?

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just relax?

Postby kerian » Tue Apr 10, 2007 3:21 pm

hi. i am a newbie. i cant believe how callous and cruel people can be. if i get told one more time to just relax and forget about it, i think i may kill. my husband has 2% healthy sperm and my not relaxing is the reason i am not pregnant. its ridiculous.i have even been told that god will give me a baby when the time is right. well then he really doesnt like me much. oh and my best, the baby chooses the parents. well then obviously no baby wants me as a parent. i just wish people were more educated about infertility. i know they mean well and dont realise how much hurt they cause. even my family believes relaxing makes babies.

well, enough of that.its so nice to find people who know what its like. its really lonely,and the scariest thing. and i havent even started yet.
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Postby FionaA » Wed Apr 11, 2007 4:05 am


Aint that the truth. I think you'll find that there are hoards of women on these boards who would like to kill or at least maim some of those insensitive "fertiles" who feel the need to advise on how best to deal with our little problem...

You may find that there is more traffic on the General Board if you are going to post a bit here... just a thought...

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Postby vicky77 » Sat Apr 14, 2007 4:44 pm

Ohhh, I totally understand what you are saying!!!!. People sometimes are unbelievable, the things they say, I think (or hope) they don't realize that what they are saying may be hurting us. Like when they say "there is always a reason for everything", what the hell is that supposed to mean?, that I am not supposed to be a parent????ARRGHHHHHHHH.
Hey, why don't you join is in the General Forum, there is a thread there called "The Sisterhood of the Blue Stilettos" (long story about the name LOL :lol: ). We are all a bunch of ladies that listen each other to our rants and vents. Join us!!
4th IVF 09/07....:D BFP !!!! :D....Benjamin born 06/18/08
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Postby Gillespieb » Sun Apr 22, 2007 2:25 am

I hear ya! My boy's mom had issues with getting pregnant and yet instead of being there it's "oh don't worry" "when the time is right" I'm sorry.. I must have missed the part where someone set a freakin timer on when my body is supposed to work properly! ugh... :x
Or my favorite... I have no kids, haven't really tried in the past, and my boy's soon to be sister in law has a little boy and is now having complications with her ovaries. She has the audacity to look at me and say "i know how it feels to be infertile"... you have a child! :cry: :cry: (that's because there is no hysterical crying face) I really did just get up walk in the bathroom and cry. I just get this feeling that people don't want to help, they just don't want to deal with us because it's "weird"
I need to get on the Blue ladies...
"No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again today."~Buddha
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Postby shanny » Sun Apr 22, 2007 10:11 pm

I always say to idiots who say that to me- then why do people who get raped sometimes get pregnant? Sorry that explanation doesn't work for me. But believe me when you do get your child (mine is adopted) everything you went through is worth it , when you do, how you do everything. Anyway, I know how you girls feel you are not alone!!
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Postby awaitingamiricle » Fri May 11, 2007 3:36 am

Can I just say. I hear ya! it never ceases to amaze me the thoughtless crap that comes out of some peoples mouths. Mostly very Fertile people at that. If I had a dollar for the amount of times I've heard 'Just relax'.
Do these people not understand we have medical problems? HELLO? Anyone home in there?

One of my favourates is such-in -such couldn't fall prega's they just forgot about it and went on a holiday and PRESTO! Theres PREGA'S. Well lucky for them. It doesn't change the fact that we are still fighting to gat that ellusive baby month after month year after year

The comment that really rips my heart out is to my husband. 'Dont ya have any good one's in ya mate'. I swear the next person that says that is going to cop a mouthful and find out how much they have crossed the line. Insensitive pigs. They will want the ground to open up and eat them.
Anyway feeling abit better now I've got that off my chest. Wishing all you ladies out there all the best and bring on those BFPS I say.

ME 31 DH 34
IVF/ICSI no transfer
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Postby meg12 » Fri May 11, 2007 3:54 am

How about, "Just go out and get drunk...that always works." Yeah, right.

Or one time I had a lady tell me she totally got how I felt because it had taken them 3 months to conceive. 3 months!!!!!!!!!! I was like, multiply that by 10 and you might have some inkling, lady. And then I punched her. (Just kidding, I'm only violent in my head!)

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Re: just relax?

Postby joviwish » Sat May 12, 2007 9:16 pm

Hi i am a newbie to and couldnt agree more with the lovely advice you get!! My best one at the moment is "Are you sure that you just dont want it cuz you cant have it!!"
friends and family are really quite hurtful at times without thinking it through :(

i have 4 friends that are expecting at mo and am overjoyed for all of them, what upsets me is that some of them cant talk to me for fear of upsetting me!!
find that bizzare as when one of them had fertility probs was on the phone to me all the time. now im like the barren woman chuntering under my breath "I want a f***** baby" and being avoided at all costs! (i dont really say that just a joke between my DH and me) :wink:

Anyway i was wondering if anyone had any info on tesa or pesa and what sort of price it costs? would be great to hear from anyone!!
Made me smile reading all your rants, which is rare at the moment!! :?
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Postby Henrietta » Tue May 15, 2007 7:03 pm

OMG Joviwish!!!!!!!!!!! That is so wrong for them to say that. The one I get tired of hearing is "Well it just wasn't meant to be". I feel like telling them to kiss my you know what. We will all have BFPs soon.
TTC 1 year
1st IUI Jan 07 BFN
2nd IUI Feb 07 cancelled
3rd IUI April 29, 07 2ww=BFN
TTC ICI again Mar 08
TWW Test April 8th resulted in BFN
2nd ICI April 26, test on May 10.
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Postby joviwish » Tue May 15, 2007 7:57 pm

Ha!! it does get better than that!!

ut with DH at wkend (very rare) and was having a chat with my sister about infertility (no names mentioned of course as in company)and DHs friends little Bimbo of a Gfriend pipes up from behind us
"never really get the fertility thing!! if you cant have babies naturally together why bother trying its not like its properly yours!!"

Deep breaths works well there ladies!!

Rage and madness and wanting to punch her cant begin to describe my emotions, not that she knew who we were talking about but what total arrogance and stupidity!!

Bless my sister, shes 8mths preg through 4th attempt IUI, she "accidently" spilt her blackcurrant and lemonade down silly little girls sparkly white top!! OPPPPS!!!
"may your ship always sail, your stars always shine and all your dreams come true"
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