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Why am I so angry? Am I normal?

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Why am I so angry? Am I normal?

Postby Fluffypuppygal » Mon Sep 08, 2008 4:56 am

Okay, this is my first post, and you wil probably think I am crazy, but here we go!

About me - I am a 37-year-old gal who had a miscarraige at 26 and an ectopic pregancy at 27, and then spent years counting cycles and being dissapointed. My husband and I are now making one last attempt with IVF and I am in the "stimulation" phase. The plan is to extract and inseminate the eggs this weekend.

Here is the thing - This summer I have become very angry at single mothers (the 20 and under kind). This has been particularly a hard thing because three young members of my family have either impregnated someone or become pregnant, and all of them are doing the "I'm keeping my baby even though I have no home, no money, no idea of how I'm going to raise it outside of looking to my mom/dad and all the social programs the government can offer."
*It just seems like everywhere I look it is one single pregnant teen after another! Shoot! Even Palin has a pregant teen!! I was talking with a new coworker at work, and she pulled out a picture of her son, who was almost an adult! She had been a pregnant teen!
Is it just me or is there just seriously an army of pregnant teens chasing me around trying to make me miserable?!?

What do I do? I hate feeling this way, but I just can't seem to help myself! Particularly when I can't read a magazine, watch the news, interact with coworkers or socialize with my family without pregant teens or newly single teen mothers being a prominent feature!! Am I nuts? Will this feeling go away if I ultimately have a child of my own? Has anyone else felt this way? What do I do?
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Postby woodcliff » Tue Oct 28, 2008 4:20 pm

I do think there is a trend to 'glamorize' pregnancy among young girls...Hollywood starlets use babies as accessories, it seems...Personally, I find it nauseating.

And then there are the movies where kind of trashy gals get knocked up easily (Knocked up, Baby Mama, Juno)...fertility is taken lightly and slightly mocked.

You're probably just getting in an anger/rage stage about the IVF/infertility, as well...it's normal.
Work out...if you are allowed...do something nice for yourself, and just try to stay positive...I know it's hard when family members are 'under your nose' with pregnancies and seem irresponsible...but just focus on you and your husband. To hell with everyone else! :twisted:

8/17: BETA 475
8/20: BETA 1,680

Born April 3, 2008
37 weeks...
GORGEOUS boy and girl
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Postby Liam'sMommy » Wed Oct 29, 2008 5:11 pm

No you are not nuts. And yes that feeling will go away once you have a child but it will rear its ugly head again once you start struggling with you next. Your feelings are completely normal.

Kelly 42
DH 50
DS 11/03/06
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Postby zoegirl » Thu Oct 30, 2008 12:27 pm

I know what you mean . . . Now that we are about to try for #2, many of the old feelings are coming back . . . I dread going thru the supermarket check out line and being bombarded with pictures of pregnant celebrities that seem to get pregnant so easily or accidentally. I agree that it appears that fertility is taken for granted . . .
My secretary was a pregnant teen and is 30 with a 12 year old son. When we were trying for #1, I wished I had been "knocked up" at a young age!
Me 39, endo, high fsh, DH 41 ("super sperm")
One DS from IVF #1, born 10/23/07
EDD 9/1/11 but of course, we expect them to arrive early
Passed 1st tri screen w/flying colors! Level II went great! Fetal Echo on 5/9/11
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Postby karenvancouverisland » Mon Nov 03, 2008 4:23 am

i'm very angry too, bitter, resentful. not all the time, but definately tonight. i believe it's normal- but let me say, i don't feel normal right now- i feel like i could either blow up in anger or just cry til i disappeared. THIS SUCKS
38 yrs. DOR, TTC since '04, recommended DE but didn't listen
3 IVF's & 1 FET: 1 cancellation, 1 m/c @ 12 wks, 1 chemical, 1 miracle boy & miracle 'natural' PG right now while waiting to cycle (WTF?)
feb 21 hb 154
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Postby BIGREDIOWAN » Wed Dec 24, 2008 12:17 pm

I think the feelings that you are experiencing are normal feelings and part of the human design. It's hard to be happy for someone who doesn't realize how hard this whole process is and also how aggravating it can be. I remember shortly before my wife and I began our first IVF cycle my best friend and his wife got pregnant the first time they tried! He tried to tell me that my wife and I just needed to relax and give us advice and I kinda bit his head off a little. I told him to not give me advice about something I had been trying to do for over 3 years. He understood and we are still best friends, but he had no way to compare what we had been going through. I love his daughter to death though and would do anything for here.
Destiny is not a matter of chance, it's a matter of choice.
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Postby Sara30 » Wed Dec 24, 2008 10:14 pm

I too think your feelings are completely normal, I am a foster carer and was one a long time before I started my IVF journey 6 years ago and have frequently been frustrated, angry and upset at the parents of these children. We often take in the unwanted, neglected and abused children of parents of all ages and it breaks my heart to see how some of these children have been treated when I can't have children of my own. I have learnt to come to terms with the fact that not all adults are able to parent their children in the way children deserve and so give the best of ourselves that we possibly can to those children that come into our care so hopefully they can take something away with them that will help them later in life. The nice thing about it is our house is never empty and all of the children we have cared for bar one or two come back for sleep overs, sunday dinner, we have invites to their birthdays and we can see them grow and get on in life. I have learnt to let go of the negative feelings about these parents otherwise it would eat me up inside, when i decided i would try and see the positive in everything around me instead of being angry big changes happened in our lives for the better.

Happy christmas to everyone wherever you are in your journeys and hoping 2009 brings you what you wish for.

Finally I am a mummy, we are about to adopt our beautiful little girl xxxxx
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Postby TwinMommy » Wed Jan 14, 2009 2:09 pm

I think you are totally normal. I had those feelings as well and I was 23 when I started to cycle. I know a lot of people from highschool that got pregnant on their own as an accident at 16,17,18,etc. Made me so mad when I started to try. To see them with kids and the father not involved and them having to get help from the government because they are still in school and no job made me furious. In those cases I wanted to scream birth control at them! lol. So it is normal for anyone who has to do IVF I am sure. It is such a process. It goes to tell you also that fertility problems can happen to people at any age as well...
Me: 25 PCOS, BFP 1st time with twin girls!

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