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What should I do? Need your opinion quick!

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What should I do?

Proceed with the IVF and gamble for the best.
3
75%
Give it up and take the remaining money. (About $7K)
0
No votes
Fight with husband for second stimulation chance, knowing this may not work either and just extend the pain.
1
25%
 
Total votes : 4

What should I do? Need your opinion quick!

Postby Fluffypuppygal » Wed Sep 10, 2008 6:39 pm

Okay - So as you might have seen in a previous post, today I went to see my IVF doctor for my lab draws and ultrasound of my ovaries.
The results are not great: 3-4 potential "normal-looking" follicles, with less than 10 immature follicles on the right ovary, and two immature follicles on the left ovary.
This is stimulation day 8. The doctor said by today I should be looking at five or more "great-looking" follicles as a bare minimum for them to feel confident I am responding well to the therapy. They want me to consider cancelling ther transfer and either trying again later (which my husband has already said he refuses to do), or giving up and recouping the costs unless I am just hell-bent to proceed and take a gamble with what I have. This means the money is gone and the quality of the embryos transferred may be questionable, even if I have any to transfer.

They want to know by my last ultrasound appointment on Friday what my decision is. I know what my husband's decision would be: He already has a daughter by an earlier marraige, so he could care less and wants the money. But I have no one, and I know I have a snowball's chance in hell of ever being able to adopt a healthy baby - No one puts their baby up for adoption anymore. And I know I don't want to deal with foster parenting (I have friends who have done this and the birth parents were a constat nightmare in their lives).

Has anyone heard of extra follicles developing well in the last 48 hours? Has anyone only had 3-4 follicles extracted and given birth to a healthy baby?
What shoudl I do?
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Postby Kery » Wed Sep 10, 2008 11:04 pm

Hi ya
What about doing a iui instead?
Male factor
April isci - Cancelled
June isci - Failed
Oct iui - BFN
Apri iui - BFP!
DS 1 year
12 yrs
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Postby SilverAngel679 » Thu Sep 11, 2008 1:03 am

Hey fluffypuppygal, first of all, I'm sorry to hear that your having the trouble that you are. As far as the stimulation and IVF goes I think you should take the chance. We know going into these things that we're taking a chance in so many ways. Think of it this way, doing this give you a CHANCE. If you wern't doing this you would have no chance whatsoever. Go ahead and take the gamble. If it fails at least you can say you tried. If you lose money, well you were planning on loosing it any knowing that there was a chance that you might not get pregnant.
But what I'm more sorry about is that you don't have the support you need through all this. I'm sorry to sound judgemental but it seems that you DH doesn't care about your need to be a parent because he is one already.
My husband and I are eachothers support and crutches through all this and I could not imagine doing any of it without him.
This is a journey husband and wife go through together, your not the only one that can't have a child right now, it's him to and he should be there for you.
I'm sorry about it all and if you ever want to just talk and vent, we're here for you. We understand.
But yeah, go ahead and take the chance and see what happens. The whole proscess of any fertility treatment is a gamble and this doesn't sound any different.
Good luck in what ever you decide to do.
baby dust!!!!!
Me: Liz, 29 (Healthy)DH: Tom, 28 (Male factor)
IVF#1: BFN
IVF#2: BFP (m/c @ 14weeks)
IVF#3: BFP Twin Boys, born 3/23/09
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Postby Fluffypuppygal » Thu Sep 11, 2008 2:40 am

Thanks for the responses!
I lack a tube on the right (ectopic pregnancy) and my ovary on the left is stuck to my uterus from adhesions/endometriosis, so it is too far for the egg to go to meet up with my fallopian tube. Plus that ovary is the one which doesn't respond well. I'm pretty much stuck with the IVF.
SilverAngel is right about my lacking support form my DH... He would love the baby if we had it, but he feels we are too old at this point to be having babies (I just turned 37, he is 47 next November, so I guess I understand), and his focus is on his daughter and the baby she is going to have. This whole IVF process freaks him out and the less he is involved with it, the more happy he is (although if I confronted him on it he would adamantly deny it.)
I do have one really sweet friend who called me tonight and was more than happy to offer her 25-year-old daughter's eggs to me! (She is another one of those gals who can get pregnant by getting into a public pool!!! 25 and three kids!) I laughed and said she might want to check with her daughter on this first!! :lol:
Anyway, I have spent the day surfing the net and reading up on follicle development. I fall into the "poor responder" category, but at least I feel more educated about the choice I may have to make on Friday if things don't kick in. Right now I am leaning towards just going for it. What have I got to loose at this point?
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Postby Kery » Thu Sep 11, 2008 4:01 am

Hi ya
Well I say GO FOR IT GIRL!!! Yea men!! Well my dh is supportive but still doesn't really get it, if you know what I mean. I don't really think he understands how hard the last couple of years have been on me doing the ivf and iui's, and now that I am pregnant he still doesn't really get it. He is quite happy to let me do all the housework!! He does work away a lot so I have to do it all anyway. Nevermind men will be men!!! Let us know how it all turns out for you. Best of luck!!!
Male factor
April isci - Cancelled
June isci - Failed
Oct iui - BFN
Apri iui - BFP!
DS 1 year
12 yrs
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Postby babyhope1 » Fri Sep 19, 2008 8:57 pm

It sounds like you have two choices...go for it or wait. Doesn't sound like IUI is an option. Your DH needs to be open minded about it and change his thinking. It sounds like he doesn't know how much it means to you. Since he already has his daughter. For the money, it may be best to wait for another cycle with only that few number of eggs. Then again, if you are a poor responder, the next cycle could be the same, just a few more dollars and time behind you. What does your doc suggest?
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Postby Fluffypuppygal » Sat Sep 20, 2008 4:48 pm

Well, we all decided to just go ahead and go for it! I hate to say "If it is meant to be, it will happen," but the doctor was able to ultimately extract 9 eggs (I guess a few were hiding?). 6 fertilized and cleaved, and today four are looking useable. I haven't heard about the fate of the other two. The nurse told me not to give up on them until the very end, as they may still continue to grow and divide enough to freeze.
Today is the big transfer day!
I don't know if we will transfer two or three, but I am leaning towrds three.
I overheard a lady in the clinic bragging to a nurse that the doctor had extracted 41 eggs from her!!! I sent her a message via ESP - "Egg donation is a beautiful thing!!" Honestly, what does she see herself doing with 41 eggs?!?
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Postby kbat » Sun Sep 21, 2008 7:45 pm

I am a very poor responder..... I never got more than about 3-4 mature eggs that they could get. Some clinics won't do ivf if there are less than 3. My final one I had only 2 eggs retreived and only one took. I was 41 (barely) for my last cycle and I have no left tube. My 1st four cycles I was stimulating anywhere from 11-14 days before my egg retreival. Only my last 2 did I go for about 10-11 days, quick for me. My last 2 I did acupuncture and I do think it helped even though I didn't get pregnant (ok I kind of sort of did, but it was etopic). I still didn't get more eggs, but I think acupuncture gave me a better shot.
ME--42 DH 41
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Postby TwinMommy » Wed Jan 14, 2009 2:21 pm

I am right there with Kbat...I am a horrible responder to the meds. I was only 23 almost 24 when I cycled....they had to keep upping my meds to get me to respond to make my follicles big enough....I think I hit the record on being on the shots the longest!!! I think I was on the shots for almost 3 weeks?!?! Then they got 12 follicles out, only 5 were good enough to put in so we put in two. One of them died before making it to day 5 blasts so we only have 2 frozen. So, my doc wanted to cancel mine as well and try again later but he let me keep going on with more meds (I think I was finally at the dose of a 40 year old they said??) But I kept plugging along. So I would def talk to your doctor about it! I am very glad I did not cancel as now I have two great twin daughters!
Me: 25 PCOS, BFP 1st time with twin girls!

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