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Infertile after uterine cancer

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Infertile after uterine cancer

Postby Annalias » Thu Oct 26, 2017 12:32 am

My husband and I have been always dreaming about children. But unfortunately I was diagnosed with cancer of the uterus. The uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries were removed. At first I was crying a lot, I had a depression and I was even attending a psychologist. My husband supported me and cheered me up as much as he could. I felt so guilty, I knew how much he wants to have kids and I let him down. I was afraid he’ll leave me. And I actually thought he have to do so and find another woman, who has no problems with fertility. But my husband gave me so much love and support and we decided not to give up. We choose surrogacy as the best way out for us. But we are from France and this procedure here is illegal. We’ve been thinking about clinics in USA first, but their prices are huge! That’s why we are looking for clinics in Europe. What should we consider? Any tips?
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Re: Infertile after uterine cancer

Postby KimmyK » Sat Oct 28, 2017 7:50 pm

Hi dear! I'm so sorry about your situation. But I'm happy to know you battled cancer! Unfortunately I've also faced infertility. My dh and I wanted to have children more than anything else. I've got pregnant when I was 22. I was warned about risks. My doctors told me I'm crazy if I leave a baby. My heart could not stand pregnancy. It might cause problems not only to my health, but baby's health as well. Also doctors told me there is high possibility I might die. All this scared me and I was confused. After long discussion with my dh we decided we should make it.

I don't know if I regret about this decision. I don't know maybe I would regret my whole life if I made an abortion on early term. Unfortunately doctors made me to terminate pregnancy on 6th month. I had dyspnea, edema, blood circulation disorders. I felt pain in chest. My heart was aching not only because it was hard for it to work for two, but also because I knew I should make my choice. I had to choose either I will live or my baby and I will die. Unbearable pain had never left me. I think it will never fade away.

We also decided to go abroad to have surrogacy. The clinic provided us with everything needed, so we felt absolutely comfortable in foreign country. We were met in the airport. We were provided with a taxi and it was transporting us to the clinic and to our apt. Btw, housing was also provided by the clinic. The whole process was under their control. They found surrogate mother for us in 2,5 months. We paid approximately 40 000 euros for everything. We didn't choose a surrogate mother by ourselves. Her appearance doesn't matter. The most important are her health and ability to bear a child. So our doctor chose sm for us.

Surrogacy is perfect option in your case. Be very careful in your search. There are hundreds of fake agencies. They take money away from miserable people and continue to live happily. That's why I advise you to contact clinics directly. Good luck, dear!
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Re: Infertile after uterine cancer

Postby Annalias » Sat Oct 28, 2017 9:38 pm

Thank you so much for support! You are so kind. I'm so sorry about your loss. We are really lucky to have such supportive husbands. Honestly I don't know what would've I done without my DH. He's really amazing person. I'm so grateful I have him in my life. I'm happy for you. Thanks for sharing your experience! I'll follow your advices. I'll do my best to stay positive. I appreciate your help!
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Re: Infertile after uterine cancer

Postby Annalias » Sat Oct 28, 2017 9:42 pm

Hello everyone who is following my thread! I'm so lucky I found this community. I found tons of useful information here. As you know my husband and I are looking into surrogacy option. In our country surrogacy is illegal. So we're thinking about going abroad. Because of this, we will probably have to dig more and look for not only details about surrogacy process but also about legal aspects in different countries. That's why we are thinking about meeting with the lawyer in a couple of days. I think this is the best thing to start with our search. I hope the lawyer will share information about laws and rules considering surrogacy abroad. We've already made a list with some questions which we would like to ask the lawyer. Maybe you have some advices what is needed to be asked? I will appreciate if you help us with this task. I'm a little bit nervous. I really hope what the lawyer will help us to clarify some questions. I hope after our meeting it will be easier to find reproductive center where we could go to start our surrogacy process.
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Re: Infertile after uterine cancer

Postby Annalias » Sat Oct 28, 2017 9:52 pm

I should say there is something on my mind which is bothering me. I really want to share it with you. Maybe you can relate to my situation and you will understand how I feel. I should say I was feeling sad last couple of weeks. The reason of it is that wife of my husband's brother gave birth to a wonderful girl. This is their second baby. My husband and I went to their house to visit them after delivery. Though I should say it was really hard for both of us. I'm happy for them and for their children. They have really amazing family. I wish we could also have children. I'm sure they would make our life different. So we went to visit them. When I saw a little baby girl I started to cry. She's so beautiful tiny little cutie. I was crying because I was happy for them. Also I was feeling sorry both for myself and my husband. I've noticed that when my husband was holding baby girl in his arms, he was also about to cry. This was a very tough moment for us. When we get home we didn't talk at all. Each of us was thinking about our infertility and our desire to have children. At least I was. After our visit my husband seems different. He doesn't talk that much. He comes home late from work. When I talk to him it seems he's somewhere else. To be honest it scares me. He doesn't talk to me. I started to think up stuff in my head which make me feel nervous. I understand this is hard for him to see that his younger brother is having his second child. I understand that all blame is on me. I'm so scared that he may decide to leave me because I can't give him what he wants the most. That's why I do everything so our surrogacy procedure could start as soon as possible. I hope that our journey will give us strength to keep going till the end.
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Re: Infertile after uterine cancer

Postby Ghost » Sun Oct 29, 2017 5:21 am

Yes, the USA has the highest prices, by far. Also the highest success rates, by far. Some centers are near 80% live birth rate after transfer of single thawed blastocysts.

Surrogacy is legal in the USA, although some states have some regulations on it.
Note: I am not an MD and not an expert.
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Re: Infertile after uterine cancer

Postby SarahS » Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:01 am

You are a cancer survivor. That is so encouraging. It means that you will get through this too. You can still be a mother through surrogacy or adoption. The fact that you are looking for a clinic tells me that you want surrogate motherhood. Excellent choice! In Europe the procedure is much cheaper compared to the USA. I sought IVF treatment in May in Kiev, Ukraine. Cost me $5000 inclusive of accommodation. Sadly I had a MC at 12w9d. Had an accident and the shock was just too much. I am preparing for FET in January. Hope you find the best clinic.
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Re: Infertile after uterine cancer

Postby Rita10 » Mon Nov 06, 2017 9:08 pm

Hello. I’ve gone through the surrogacy with my sister. She was suffering from infertility for 6 years. IVF didn’t help her that’s why she decided to try the surrogacy. As a result, her twin boys were born by the surrogate. They are so amazing. I didn’t believe that surrogacy really works. But it’s true. I’m very glad that you didn’t give up. You made the right choice. I’m sure that surrogacy will help you make your dream come true.
I know that there are a lot of good clinics in Europe. They really offer pretty affordable prices. Try to visit several clinics in Ukraine. I’m sure you will like some of them. Doctors there are real professionals. They take a good care of each couple. And, what is the main, surrogacy is legal there. But, anyway, you will need a lawyer. You will have to sign an agreement with your surrogate.
I know a lot of couples, which became parents with the help of surrogacy. I’m sure you will be among them soon. Try to talk to your husband. You are going through difficulties now. You have to support each other. It is very important to be a family. Together you will fight this problem faster. I know that you are scared. I remember how scared my sister was. But everything worked out. You have to believe that everything will be fine. Stay positive and keep trying. All your dreams will come true soon.
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Re: Infertile after uterine cancer

Postby Butterfly27 » Tue Nov 07, 2017 10:27 am

Your story made me cry. Life can be really unfair! Honey, I'm glad to see that you don't give up! I'm sure you'll get what you want. We should always fight for our dreams and goals no matter what. . So, girls, be brave and fight for your happiness!
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Re: Infertile after uterine cancer

Postby Estellla » Mon Dec 04, 2017 11:22 pm

I'm really sorry you have to go through such pain. I know that this is really hard to be strong in such situation. I had 6 miscarriages. I completely understand the reason why you chose such method to stop feeling the pain. We have been trying to conceive for 8 years. These years were a nightmare for us. I am very lucky I have supportive husband. But his and mine parents make the situation worse. They can't stop asking when we will give them grandchildren. They can't stop blaming me in inability to have children. They can't stop turning my life into a nightmare. In such situation it is very hard not to give up and stop trying. I've changed so many doctors, so many hospitals. I've tried literally everything to get pregnant and the most important to save the pregnancy. Unfortunately nothing worked for me. We wasted so much money and nerves and got nothing in result. After the pain we went through I'm actually surprised that we still have tiny bit of hope. We are thinking about the surrogacy option. This is our last chance and we want to use it. Dear I wish you all the best! I hope you will find answers to your questions. I wish you to find an option which will help you to become a mother!
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