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Discussion forum for those particularly interested in insemination using partners sperm, or donor insemination.

Support

Postby steph76 » Tue Nov 14, 2006 6:33 pm

Hello everyone, I'm new here and I need some advice. My husband and I have been going through some rough times lately. Due to my husband having leukemia (and chemo/radiation) when he was six, he cannot produce sperm. So, we are looking at our only option being donor IUI. I am ok with this, but my husband is not. He is not sure he wants someone elses sperm doing the job. I really want to support him, but I really want the experience of being pregnant. So, how can I tell him that he isnt any less of a man or father? How can I explain to him that in the end it doesnt matter?
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Postby NickiMark » Wed Nov 15, 2006 8:38 pm

I am in the same boat, my dh has no sperm, we are on attempt no5 with donor iui....

Tell your dh he will be the daddy!! Daddys have the better job, fathers just supply the sperm, and mean nothing!! it's all about parenting in the ned no where the sperm came from...

look at www.dcnetwork.org, hope this helps xx
TTC 6yrs......Have jumped off the rollercoaster for now, too many BFN's and too much heartache, to keep going....Moving on to fulfil other dreams!!!
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Postby Tammy Wondra » Sun Jan 28, 2007 3:58 pm

We are also looking into donor and it's a tough situation for the man--I can only imagine. The thing is you can match the husband as much as possible and the child can look totally like the husband. And like Nicolamark said, he'd be the daddy. They said anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy. My husband has 2 kids from a previous marriage that I consider my own, but they aren't genetically related to me, but I love them like my own. Genetics don't mean anything....it's just a little "help" to get your dream.

Hope that helps. Feel free to contact me anytime.

Take care,

Tammy
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Postby Angel505 » Mon Apr 16, 2007 2:43 pm

steph, tammy, nicki, I'm in the same boat as you. Its a very very tough decision. Its very important not to force your husband into the decision. Its took mine a few months, but eventually he came round. The first stage is shock for them to think that they will never have a biological child.

Steph, give him a few months to get his head round that. Also let him know that you are in it too and also suffering.DH accepts that even if we adopt the child will not be his. But al least with SD, he has the bond from day one and he is the father right from conception. He will have the same journey as any other father during the pregnancy.

Its difficult, I know. A little bit of time and a few gentle statements may steer him in just the right direction. Hope you can come to an agreement soon.
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