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U R not alone with DI

Discussion forum for those particularly interested in insemination using partners sperm, or donor insemination.

Postby DonnaUS-NY » Sun Jan 28, 2007 1:03 am

Hi Gargy,
Thanks for the clarification, I can understand it in terms of the rights of the child. When I selected there was not a lot of open donors, but it seems it is becoming a little more prevalant, maybe as more is learned and considered regarding the rights of the children. I wish I had thought it through a little more myself; it was so much to absorb I didn't quite grasp the concept of that at the time I selected. The sperm bank we used does mention they keep all records and will make attempts to connect donors in later years if its mutual consent. So I am hanging on to hope of that in case my daughter wants to contact him at a later date. I also considered joining a sibling registry because that's another thing to consider that my daughter has half siblings. By the way I did notice there are some open donors at this sperm bank out of the state of California in the US so in case it helps I am passing along the web site address. This is the bank I used to conceive my daughter.

Curiously how long is the typical wait for a donor?Do you have criteria that you want the donor to match? also when you get matched with a donor, can you purchase various quantities for multiple (or future) attempts? I am curious how things differ based on the different laws. It's amazing the things we as couples who struggle with infertility have to endure, however, I believe it makes us stronger and more appreciative in general!
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Postby Gargy » Sun Jan 28, 2007 2:04 am

Hi Donna,

I think DI is like trying to jump your way across a stream - once you have one stone firmly under your foot, there is another one to jump to - and of course you must logically work it out, stretch, jump, hope for the best and cross your fingers that you don't fall in the water. And even if you do fall, you shake yourself off, get back on the stone and try again.

The typical wait for a donor at the moment is 6 to 12 months in Australia, It sounds the same in New Zealand where Polly is from, and in the UK where Nicki is from.

When donors were available in my clinic, I was given a choice of 3 people. I went for the one that sounded similar to ourselves. And yes, there was an option to hold sperm - it's just that I didn't realise that a) I would miss out on becoming pregnant (I thought I had been through so much that fortune would smile on me - ha!) b) that things were so dire and there would be no-one else available. At the time that I would have been told this information I was off having an operation to remove my gallbladder. By the time I got back my donor had reached his family limit and the two others also.

The other interesting thing about Australian law is that we cannot purchase sperm from a donor, just pay for the donor's time/transport costs and the clinic's service fee. (Of course, this is possibly semantics to get around the law.) HTH

Now DH and I are jumping from one stone to the next - after getting our heads around the process for an unknown donor, contacted when the child hits 18, we are now getting our heads and hearts around the issue for a known donor.

And yes, I agree, you have to be really strong to be able to do this!!
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Postby Polly12 » Thu Feb 01, 2007 1:17 am

Hi Donna, thanks for sharing it is good to hear of someone who has had success!

Gargy, how are things going for you???????? Im waiting, waiting, waiting!

NicolaMark - how many days until your IVF now? Exciting for you, im real scared that IUI won't work for me too, i guess i have to stay positive.

Polly.
Its not our ideal way of having a family, but i know its going to be our ideal family.


16 May 07- First IUI BFP!!!!!
Azoospermia in DH
Trying since 2005
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Postby Polly12 » Thu Feb 01, 2007 1:21 am

Gargy,
Your explaination about jumping from stone to stone is so true, what a good way to explain it, exactly how i feel, its hard sometimes, other days i feel excited, just almost wish i could push a pause button on others who fall pregnant to easily! ive just heard of my friends daughter-in-law who is having number 2 in the time ive been trying for number 1...oh well must remember my turn will hopefully come. Fingers crossed for 2007! Surely this is our year!
Its not our ideal way of having a family, but i know its going to be our ideal family.


16 May 07- First IUI BFP!!!!!
Azoospermia in DH
Trying since 2005
Polly12
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Postby Kery » Sat Feb 03, 2007 6:44 am

Hi everyone!
I have just been reading your posts and I thought I would jump in! (hope you don't mind).

We moved to Perth from NZ about 8 months ago. I have a child (10yrs)from a previous relationship, although my husband has raised him since he was one. We had been trying for a child together for two years and when nothing happened we decided to head for a fertilty clinic. After all the tests we found out that dh had no sperm count in his sample. Dh did not want to talk about this (surprise surprise!). Although now six months later he decided to get a biopsy done which he is having done on Friday. We then will know for sure if ivf is an option.

We decided that we did not want to go down the sperm donor road as we are lucky enough to have my son. I really do feel for those of you that have not had the experience of having your own children, but believe me the longing for another child that you are unable to have is just as strong.

I wish you all the best in your journey!!
Kery
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Postby Gargy » Sat Feb 03, 2007 12:51 pm

Hey Polly!! :) How was the camping trip? I've gone back to work, and I've just emailed KD. He has a gig on Monday he is rehearsing for, but I've told him I'll try to catch up with him later in the week. DH and I are both going to the gig.

Hi Donna! Hi NicolaMark! Hi Kery! :) Hope your day is going ok...
me 40 DH 44
Fertility issues since 2000
PCOS (using Metformin), Male factor
TTC with assistance since 2005
2 IUIs Feb & Jun 2006 with unknown donor BFN
IUI Feb 2008 & IVF Oct 2008 known donor.BFN
IVF Oct 2009 known donor BFP
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Postby TansRN » Mon Feb 12, 2007 4:28 am

Hello
I am in the same situation. I have already submitted my paper work to the cryobank and they are supposed to get back with me on what to do next. I have an appointment for IUI consultation on the first of March with DS. I am hoping it works. Ready for it to work! It is good to be able to share our stories with each other. I feel alone in this process. No one seems to understand.
Tanya

IVF #1- 6/2006-DH had vasectomy
VERY SADLY ended in m/c of a beautiful baby girl at 12 weeks on Aug. 28, 2006.

FET 1/2007 -ive
#2 IVF/ICSI-4/2007 BFP!!! 1st beta 708!!!!
Sophie and Riley Arrived Dec. 10th 2008!!!
TansRN
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Postby Gargy » Mon Feb 12, 2007 5:27 am

Hi TansRN,

Hope everything goes well for you!!

Gargy
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Postby TansRN » Tue Feb 13, 2007 3:12 am

Thank you Gargy

So looking forward to moving on with the plans!
Tanya

IVF #1- 6/2006-DH had vasectomy
VERY SADLY ended in m/c of a beautiful baby girl at 12 weeks on Aug. 28, 2006.

FET 1/2007 -ive
#2 IVF/ICSI-4/2007 BFP!!! 1st beta 708!!!!
Sophie and Riley Arrived Dec. 10th 2008!!!
TansRN
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Joined: Sat Apr 15, 2006 7:13 pm
Location: Michigan

Postby Gargy » Wed Feb 14, 2007 6:51 am

Hi everyone,

Had a very productive day today. Heard from our known donor - will be meeting up with him in the next couple of weeks to discuss the nitty gritty subjects. Ken Daniels book has arrived, so I'm going to start reading tonight. Finally I am meeting up with my FS on Monday.

This is not infertility related, but I also saw my GP today as I have tonsilitis again! After years and years of suffering with bout after bout of tonsilitis he has recommended I see a surgeon and get them OUT!

It's amazing how much difference a day makes. Yesterday I was feeling very lonely and miserable. Today I'm much better. Just proves you have to be patient sometimes..

Best wishes to you all...

Gargy
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Postby Polly12 » Wed Feb 14, 2007 11:12 pm

Hi Tanya, welcome, all the best with your plans:) Im sad to see you had MC - my heart really goes out to you.

Gargy, sounds like things are starting to happen for you......only a good thing for sure:) Fingers crossed aye.

I hope you love Ken Daniels book as much as i did! I found it hard to read at times, and somethings helped me to cry and release some hard feelings. I found it absolutely brilliant in my healing and understanding. Ken phoned me - what a brilliant man he is - i found him very understanding and so kind to talk to. He is very approachable.

Hope you are feeling better soon! I had my tonsils out at 16 and was sooooo glad to be rid of them! mine were so bad they constantly had growths on them making me sicker by the day.

All the very very best for Monday! Im still waiting......... i will ring the clinic again at the beginning of April i think. Just see where things are at.

Take Care
Polly.
Its not our ideal way of having a family, but i know its going to be our ideal family.


16 May 07- First IUI BFP!!!!!
Azoospermia in DH
Trying since 2005
Polly12
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Posts: 105
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 12:58 am
Location: New Zealand

Postby TansRN » Thu Feb 15, 2007 4:11 am

Hello guys

Things are going well. I did get enrolled with the clinic for ds. They will ship it in a dewar and then give us thawing directions. I am going to go see my doc for a consultation for iui on March first. We would be using ds for that. Part of me just wants to try it at home and not worry about the meds. I think they can really reek havoc with your body. I will do what I have to but if it can be done "naturally" that is what I would prefer I think.

Polly
Thank you for your kind words. I still have problems dealing with it and it was the hardest day of my entire life. I hope that doesnt happen again. Looking forward to better days!!!

Gargy
Good luck on getting the tonsils out. I hope that it helps you to feel better. No one wants to go through life feeling like crap. You are right a day does make all the difference.

take care
Tanya

IVF #1- 6/2006-DH had vasectomy
VERY SADLY ended in m/c of a beautiful baby girl at 12 weeks on Aug. 28, 2006.

FET 1/2007 -ive
#2 IVF/ICSI-4/2007 BFP!!! 1st beta 708!!!!
Sophie and Riley Arrived Dec. 10th 2008!!!
TansRN
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Posts: 554
Joined: Sat Apr 15, 2006 7:13 pm
Location: Michigan

Postby Gargy » Mon Feb 19, 2007 8:04 am

Hi everyone,

Went to FS today. Back on the pill to get the bleeding back under control (last month bled for 12 days, this month it has already been going for 10).
He's happy that I had the HSG and am back on Metformin.

SD will be coming over this weekend to talk about where to from here. He has to go to the counsellor, and then we have to go to the counsellor as a group. Slowly, slowly moving forward!

Tanya - good to hear things are moving forward for you too!

Polly - how are things??
Gargy
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Postby Polly12 » Thu Feb 22, 2007 3:51 am

Hi everyone,
I finally feel like i have some news to share. Fert Clinic FINALLY Phoned today (they have learn't to return calls at last!) and we are finally near the top of the list for a donor! YA!!! That is the good news, only a couple of months to go now. Bad news is that the government funding is taking awhile to get through so we are going to have to foot the bill. $1,125.00 per cycle, plus travel costs to clinic. A bit grim but thank goodness for savings and good paying jobs. Just wish i was spending that on a nice cot and buggy instead of sex with a seringe! So hopefully something will be starting to happen end of April.

Gargy, awesome you are on med for your cycle. Fingers crossed it all comes right soonish aye:)

Tanya, the first of March is coming closer for you, exciting for you! All the best.
Its not our ideal way of having a family, but i know its going to be our ideal family.


16 May 07- First IUI BFP!!!!!
Azoospermia in DH
Trying since 2005
Polly12
Regular
 
Posts: 105
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 12:58 am
Location: New Zealand

Postby Polly12 » Thu Feb 22, 2007 3:51 am

Hi everyone,
I finally feel like i have some news to share. Fert Clinic FINALLY Phoned today (they have learn't to return calls at last!) and we are finally near the top of the list for a donor! YA!!! That is the good news, only a couple of months to go now. Bad news is that the government funding is taking awhile to get through so we are going to have to foot the bill. $1,125.00 per cycle, plus travel costs to clinic. A bit grim but thank goodness for savings and good paying jobs. Just wish i was spending that on a nice cot and buggy instead of sex with a seringe! So hopefully something will be starting to happen end of April.

Gargy, awesome you are on med for your cycle. Fingers crossed it all comes right soonish aye:)

Tanya, the first of March is coming closer for you, exciting for you! All the best.
Its not our ideal way of having a family, but i know its going to be our ideal family.


16 May 07- First IUI BFP!!!!!
Azoospermia in DH
Trying since 2005
Polly12
Regular
 
Posts: 105
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 12:58 am
Location: New Zealand

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