Post
by Warren Dew » Tue Dec 16, 2008 3:42 am
I'm kind of wondering why they're only now figuring out there's an issue if you've already been through two IVFs.
I do think there's a big difference between a low count and no sperm at all. The thought in the back of us guys' minds when we see "low" counts like 500,000 is always, "it only takes one". With ICSI, it's even true that it only takes one, as long as the embryologist picks out the right one.
Picture the opposite situation. You're a "low responder" and have only had a couple or three eggs retrieved, and maybe only one or two embryos available for transfer. Your husband says, "look, let's just hire a surrogate and do IUI with her with my sperm instead of IVF. I've got the perfect girl for it." How would you feel, watching some other woman get pregnant with the baby that should have been yours, and then you get to start changing diapers for this other woman's baby? That's how your husband probably feels about donor sperm.
I'd say, first wait for the results of the analysis. If all of his sperm are completely abnormal, that may change things for him. Note, though, that it's normal for a large fraction of the sperm to have chromosomal defects, so if only three quarters are bad or something, that won't be convincing.
If there's any chance at all, wait for that last IVF cycle as well.
The other thing that might help is if your husband has a brother he's close to, or someone else that's like a brother, whom he might be willing to select as the donor.