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AUGUST 2008 ~ BUMP BUDDIES

Announcement of pregnancy and birth following assisted reproductive treatment.

Postby seltzer » Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:12 pm

Hey Tina, I meant to add that you look great in your pic. And Noah is SO CUTE! He looks so much like you!! :D
Me - 41; DP - 43
8/2/08 - Keira Grace born
12/10/06 - Nathaniel Paul born
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Postby tinaO » Thu Sep 18, 2008 1:08 am

Seltzer - I am so sorry about your cat. If it makes you feel any better, some friends were over a couple of weeks ago and opened a closet in our bonus room upstairs (which we don't spend a lot of time in typically) and I guess our cat went in it. My husband did not know it and accidentally shut it later that day. This was on Sunday afternoon. Tuesday afternoon my husband mentioned that he had not seen the cat and she had not eaten her food. We quickly went looking for her and found her in the damn closet - she had been in that hot closet with no food or water for 2 days - we felt terrible!!! She is 15 years old and only weighs 6 pounds. I could not believe she was still alive. I felt like such a terrible pet parent. It sucks. It's like - you can't do it all, you know? I am so, so sorry about your cat. I know it feels like just one more thing to feel like crap about. Just remember that you were good to him for many years and if he was that sick, it was truly for the best. But I know it is still so hard....

Keep in mind that the sleep thing is short-lived. It WILL get better as Keira gets older. I remind myself of that a lot. And don't beat yourself up over the weight - I gained between 36-38 pounds. I have lost 25, so have a good 10-12 pounds to go. I am walking 3 miles a day and have not lost another pound in over a week - sucks! But it WILL happen in time.

Try not to let Keira's lack of sleep and fussiness bother you. My husband and I make cracks about it to keep us sane. Like last night, my husband put Noah in his bouncy where he sleeps and then acted like he was running away and hiding behind the bed post so Noah could not see him. Then when we got into bed, we proceeded to act like we were hiding underneath the covers when we heard Noah whine. We were laughing the whole time. Noah snores really loud and my husband was laughing saying, "put a sock in it, kid". Anyway, it helps to make jokes rather than stressing out about it. It sounds weird, but I swear it works. It has made it so much less stressful because we laugh through it all.....we always tell Noah when he is crying, "Yes, Noah - you have it SO tough, don't you"? It makes you aware that oh my gosh - this child does have it good and we are good parents, you know? I am thankful Noah is such a good baby because that also makes it easier. I just love him to pieces.

Ok, I have to run. Hang in there and know we are all here for you!!! And try getting out and walking with Keira - it really does help!

Oh - and have any of you tried the "hot sling"??? I ordered one and I LOVE IT!!! Noah is sleeping in it right now as I type, straddled across my chest. It is awesome. I tried other slings and hated them...but I love this one!

Tina
Me - 40; DH - 42
2 IUI's-BFN
1st IVF: BFP
Noah was born 8/20/08; he's our world!
Started FET 7/11
Only 1 frozen to transfer - praying for another miracle!!!
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Postby 2ndtimer » Sat Sep 20, 2008 4:56 pm

Hi Guys,
I just wanted to let everyone know what's been working at my house as far as getting the baby to sleep longer at night. First, before they are 6 weeks old not much is going to work,but as they approach 6 weeks you can start getting a schedule in place. I feed Connor every 3-4 hours during the daytime trying to stay closer to the 3 hr mark than the 4. That way he gets the calories he needs mostly during the day. Then in the evening I try to cluster feed a little, either feeding him at 5 & 7 or at 6 & 8. He usually goes to sleep around 8:30 to 9:00 but I gently wake him up and feed him again at 10 or 11. We've been doing this for a couple of weeks and he is now consistently sleeping from the time of the last feeding to somewhere between 4 and 5:30 in the morning. That lets me sleep usually around 5 to 6 hrs at a stretch. It has saved my sanity!
I moved him out of our bedroom a few weeks ago and planned on just using the baby monitor BUT the first night he was in his crib I was looking at him and he just looked so little and helpless that I slept in his nursery with him. I've been there since, so it kind of defeats the purpose of moving him into his own room. This week I'm going to try to move into my own room again.
In a couple of weeks we are going to take a 10 day vacation to go up to Maine and see the mountains and the coast. It might be a nightmare but we want to try it and see how it goes. My family thinks I'm crazy, but if I dont' take a vacation now during the last of my maternity leave I won't get one for a year.
Hope everyone is doing well. Seltzer -so sorry to hear about your cat. Tina, you are not the only one who feels guilty about your pet. My poor dog's fur was so dirty & matted that I had to cut a good deal of it off yesterday plus she's getting fat from lack of exercise. Oh well...we can only do the what we can do.
Take care,
Rebecca
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2 IVF's & 2 FET -all BFN
3rd IVF -BFP!!!
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Postby tinaO » Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:17 pm

Rebecca - wonderful advice on the feeding. I think I am going to try it. Noah's sleeping took a turn for the worse the last few days - ugghhh. How many ounces are you feeding Connor? We are assuming Noah is weighing about 9 pounds and we have been still feeding him 3 ounces, but just started giving him a couple of feedings at night at 3 1/2 ounces. We have been feeding him every 3 hours during the day and up until recently, waking him up to feed him at night. I told my husband we needed to stop that and let him just wake up on his own to feed. We started doing that now but it isn't working the last few days anyway as he is up every 2 1/2 to 3 hours anyway! I read somewhere about putting him down earlier to sleep at night as Noah doesn't go down until his last feeding around 11 p.m. to 12 a.m. I think that might be part of the problem as he needs to go to sleep earlier. I like your plan. I am going to try it. Will let you know how it goes!!!

Oh - and I LOVE Maine! Had to make a business trip up there a couple of years ago to a town called York. It was late Sept/early Oct and it was amazing. So beautiful that time of year!!!! I hope it is enjoyable!!!!

Keep the advice coming.....
Me - 40; DH - 42
2 IUI's-BFN
1st IVF: BFP
Noah was born 8/20/08; he's our world!
Started FET 7/11
Only 1 frozen to transfer - praying for another miracle!!!
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Postby 2ndtimer » Sat Sep 20, 2008 8:07 pm

Tina,
Connor is now drinking 4-5 oz each feeding. I fill the bottle up to 5 oz each time & let him drink however much he wants.
I think you should stop waking Noah up for feedings. I'm still a novice too, so take my advice with a huge grain of salt but I'm sure him will wake you up during the night when he's hungry. The 10/11 pm feeding is the only time I wake Connor up to feed since the 2nd day he was home from the hospital. Believe me, they know how to wake up on their own in the night.
But, like I said, I'm a first time mom too, so what do I know :wink:
Rebecca
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3rd IVF -BFP!!!
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Postby 2ndtimer » Sat Sep 20, 2008 9:18 pm

Sorry -I should read a little closer -you HAVE stopped waking him to feed him. Just keep it up. He could have been going thru a growth spurt the last few nights. They change so quickly at this age, it's hard to get a handle on things.
The feeding schedule is straight from the Baby Whisper Solves all Your Problems book. I highly recommend it.
Rebecca
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Postby seltzer » Sat Sep 20, 2008 10:20 pm

Hey everyone,

Thanks for the condolences on my kitty. It does make me feel a little better that some of you have pet issues as well...

Interesting schedule info, Rebecca, thanks. Keira is eating anywhere from 3-6 oz. at a feeding. I just go by what she wants; she lets me know when she is full. She goes to sleep around 9-10 each night and sleeps till about 2. Then she wakes up and eats and goes back to sleep for about another 3-4 hours. Then she's up again, eats, and sleeps some more (maybe 2-3). So it's 10 hrs but it's broken up. Last night she did a 5-hr stretch, woo hoo. Unfortunately it was on DP's shift, LOL. How much are your babies sleeping during the day? Keira sleeps about 6 hrs during the daytime...are you guys waking up your babies during the daytime if they sleep too long? What's too long??

I am doing better on the Zoloft...feeling less mentally deranged and more able to cope.

Yes, Maine is great. I've been going there since I was little for family vacations, usually near York actually.
Me - 41; DP - 43
8/2/08 - Keira Grace born
12/10/06 - Nathaniel Paul born
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Postby sharishu » Tue Sep 23, 2008 7:57 am

Hi ladies,

Rebecca-
Congrats on your nighttime feeding schedule. I actually did try to wake Elia up at 11pm, but he just sleeps so deeply at night, so that didn't work for me. He does sleep 5.5 to 6 hours straight, but it's from 9 to 3, then from 4 to 6. I also try 5 ounces sometimes, but he usually 'tops out' on 4.

Seltzer-
Sorry about your cat, I'm sure that can't be easy to go through along with lack of sleep and general anxiety. I am glad you're feeling better on the Zoloft. I have good days and days that are less so. I am strong enough now to do my half hour walking video, and that is helping.

Tina-
You look awesome! I would never guess you just had a baby, good for you. Hope you start getting some more sleep at night.

Gotta go, Elia needs me!

Shari
Damaged Tubes; 1st IVF- BFN; 2nd IVF-BFP, our precious son :); 3rd IVF stopped due to natural miracle BFP, then mc@8 wks.; 4th IVF: June '11- BFN :( Bring On IVF#4!

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Postby tryw8 » Tue Sep 23, 2008 4:29 pm

Hi all,

Well, lastnight was a first milestone ... Cody slept from 930pm to 530am straight. But getting him to sleep was the hard part. After dinner, it's a two person operation to give Cody a bath. DH wants me to do it because I don't think he feels comfortable. (I'm not sure why.) I can't do it by myself, I have a difficulty lifitng Cody w/ one hand ... he's getting heavy. My DH installed the removable showerheads that has a 6-ft. hose before I came home from the hospital. It made it easier for me to wash below.

Last night, Cody's routine was interrupted. My inlaws decided to pop by after dinner and kept Cody up and stimulated. It's bathtime after dinner and then he gets fed and we put him to sleep. I was hoping that DH would send his parents home quickly but NO! Anyways, he was so fussy and we had much difficulty getting him to go to sleep. A-ha! The DH was cranky ... well, he knows where to put the blame. It felt good being able to calm Cody down and comfort him to sleep.

Have any of you noticed when family or friends call, no one asks how you are doing but how is baby?

Karen
Failed IUI
hysteroscopy/laparoscopy 1/07 (blocked tube,endo)
IVF 5/07 BFN
FET 11/07, BFP 12/07
07/31/2008 (508am) --> our son was born!

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Postby tinaO » Tue Sep 23, 2008 8:10 pm

Well, I bought the Baby Whisperer book...am trying that. Noah is just not sleeping well. Oh well, hopefully as he gets a little older, right?

Rebecca - I will let you know how it goes. Love the book so far.

Ladies - tell me the sleep thing gets better soon!!!! I mean, after the 6 week mark, right?? That is what I have heard. It is killing me!!!
Me - 40; DH - 42
2 IUI's-BFN
1st IVF: BFP
Noah was born 8/20/08; he's our world!
Started FET 7/11
Only 1 frozen to transfer - praying for another miracle!!!
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Postby tinaO » Wed Sep 24, 2008 1:55 pm

Hi, it's me again. Well, we are trying the schedule from the Baby Whisperer book so we will see how it goes. So far, not too great, but not terrible either. Noah will sleep for 4 hours at a time, but he stirs constantly during that time so it is hard for us to sleep. If he would just sleep for 4 hours straight, it would be wonderful, but he stirs, grumbles, etc. He pees constantly and hates a soaked diaper. I swear, the kid pees so much and his diaper is always completely soaked. We have to get up and change that during the 4 hour stretch sometimes, too. My wonderful husband is still doing SO much, but I have noticed his patience is finally starting to crack a little. I let him sleep in yesterday and I think that helped. I want him to take some time for himself soon and go play golf or something. I think he needs a real break, you know?

Karen - I know what you mean about everyone caring about the baby and not us. Better get used to it!!! It ain't about us anymore!!! I love my husband to pieces, but I swear all we focus on right now is Noah. It is tough but it will change I know when Noah gets a little older. And I HATE when people come by and stay too long - esp in the evenings. It throws everything off!!! Men are always the worst about kicking people out, too. Makes me crazy!

Seltzer - According to the Baby Whisperer (the book Rebecca recommended), babies NEED to sleep during the day. Don't wake Keira. The more and better they sleep during the day, the better they will sleep at night. Very different from adults. Noah takes way too many little cat naps (like 15-20 min) which I think is part of his problem. I think we are overstimulating him during the day.

Question: Do your babies constantly want to be held, even for naps? That is a problem we have with Noah. I keep thinking it will get better as he gets older since he is only 5 weeks old. ???

Ok, gotta run. Noah is actually sleeping without me holding him. Have to take advantage of it!!!

Oh - and weight loss has completely stopped. Have not lost a pound in 2 weeks. UGGGHHHH!!!! It is useless to even fix my hair because I end up having to pull it back anyway because it is in my way to feed Noah and take care of him. I dream of getting all fixed up again and being THIN!!! Oh well....

I sure hope Marybeth is doing great with the twins. Must be crazy. I hope she stops by some time soon.

Tina
Me - 40; DH - 42
2 IUI's-BFN
1st IVF: BFP
Noah was born 8/20/08; he's our world!
Started FET 7/11
Only 1 frozen to transfer - praying for another miracle!!!
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Postby 2ndtimer » Wed Sep 24, 2008 3:13 pm

Hi former bump buddies,
Tina, I just wanted to say to hang in there. Connor will be 2 full months old tomorrow. It took me about 2 weeks to get him to take decent naps during the day. He also wanted to be held all the time and I was just plain wearing myself out trying to do it. I couldnt' stand to hear any crying at all from my baby. It took a lot of patience and crying on my part, but now he goes down for a nap either in his nursery or downstairs in his bassinet without too much of a fuss. One thing that helped me tremendously was to finally realize that he has a "I'm just tired & trying to work it out cry" and a "come here right now!!" cry. If he's doing the tired cry then I just go over & place a hand on his chest & talk sweet a few times to him until he goes to sleep -I dont' pick him back up. That was the hardest thing for me to learn. But now I see how happy & better rested he seems after a good nap. And we've been several nights in a row with him sleeping until 5am! The other thing I learned is that he can be crying at night for a while & still pretty much be asleep! It's a different kind of cry with longer intervals between the cries. He constantly is making noise. Many nights I would go downstairs to warm up a bottle because he was crying and come back to find him sound asleep. So now I wait for a few minutes of "concentrated" crying. It seemed so mean at first but he seems so much better rested now than he did a few weeks ago and I am too!
I don't follow the Baby Whisperer schedule exactly but it has helped to give me a guide for my days. Other books seemed to just have vague advice -I needed a little more than that, like for crying out loud somebody please tell me what to do.
Noah is still so young, just 5 weeks. I'm not sure there's much you can do at this point to get him to sleep longer but I think if you start building good habits now with the naps & schedule that it should all fall into place soon. Also, have you considered trying a different brand of diaper? Some are more absorbant than others and may help to keep his skin drier and more comfortable. I use the Huggies supreme with cuddle weave on Connor at night. They are far better than the regular huggies and also more absorbant than the pampers.
Karen -way to go with the sleeping through the night! Do you give Cody a bath every night? I would like to give Connor one but DH keeps insisting that babies only need baths 2-3 times a week and I will dry out his skin if I give him more.
Seltzer -so far Connor isn't sleeping more than 5-6 hrs during the day so I don't wake him up. Last Sunday he came really close -I was sure he had his days & nights mixed up, but then that night he slept really well from about 10 to 5:30 so who knows? I'm not sure if I would wake him up during the day even if he was sleeping more than 6 hrs.
Shari -I'm glad you are starting to feel stronger and able to do some exercises. You've been through so much with the pneumonia & all and here you are already doing a walking video. You go girl! I hope you realize what a strong lady you are.

So, understandably I've been rather obsessed with getting Connor to sleep thru the night & on a better schedule during the day, and thank God that seems to be going well at this time. BUT, my sister tells me that even if I had not done anything the daycare would put Connor on a good sleep/nap schedule when he starts that next month. So that has actually lessened my anxiety and reminded me that I don't have to figure out everything right now. It's just so easy to get ahead of myself.
Anyway, take care.
Maybe we should start a thread on the Parents After Treatment?
Rebecca
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3rd IVF -BFP!!!
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Postby tinaO » Wed Sep 24, 2008 4:59 pm

Rebecca - I am SO grateful for your advice. Seriously! I just read your post and am sending my husband to get the diapers you recommend. I never thought about getting a different brand. However, Noah probably does need a different type that is more absorbent. Great idea! And you are right about the napping. Noah slept from 8-10:15 this morning and is in such a better mood now! I fed him, we played, and now he is back asleep - without me holding him! Amazing! I think we just have to sort of "force" him not to just sleep in our arms. It is tough, but it is the only way we will remain sane. Also, I have to go back to work in 3 weeks, so he will be spending at least a few days a week at my friend's mom's house while she is watching him. He can't be expecting to be held all the time. I think that is what worries me for my little guy. I don't want him to be all torn up if he doesn't get what he is used to, you know? Do you worry about that? By the way, I read a study about daycares and it said that children that go to day care are 30% less likely to get major diseases and illnesses, such as leukemia. They get sick more with minor illnesses, but are more immune to the major things. It made me feel a little better. Noah will be going to the Goddard School starting in January. And oh my gosh - you sounded like you are figuring things out, so I would not worry about getting Connor to sleep through the night yet. If you can, awesome! However, I just spoke to a friend of mine who has a 3 month old and he is still waking up every few hours to eat. Guess every baby is different, huh??

Ok, gotta run. Thank you again for the advice. It means a lot.

And are we ready to move to the "Parents after Traetment", ladies? Let's take a vote! :lol:
Me - 40; DH - 42
2 IUI's-BFN
1st IVF: BFP
Noah was born 8/20/08; he's our world!
Started FET 7/11
Only 1 frozen to transfer - praying for another miracle!!!
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Postby tryw8 » Thu Sep 25, 2008 12:56 am

tinaO wrote:Karen - I know what you mean about everyone caring about the baby and not us. Better get used to it!!! It ain't about us anymore!!! I love my husband to pieces, but I swear all we focus on right now is Noah. It is tough but it will change I know when Noah gets a little older. And I HATE when people come by and stay too long - esp in the evenings. It throws everything off!!! Men are always the worst about kicking people out, too. Makes me crazy!


Tina - I'm glad that I'm the only one not feeling this way. I'm known now as Cody's mom. When anyone calls, mother-in-law for example, right after I say, "hello" ... she will immediately ask, "how's Cody?" My DH I swear has no common sense to kick out people when they interrupt Cody's schedule/routine. It's worse if it is his own parents.

2ndtimer wrote:Karen -way to go with the sleeping through the night! Do you give Cody a bath every night? I would like to give Connor one but DH keeps insisting that babies only need baths 2-3 times a week and I will dry out his skin if I give him more.


Rebecca - it was a sheer luck! Last night Cody went down at 9pm and then woke up at 1am. Oh, well ... it was nice when he slept long. Cody's pediatrician recommended to take him out in the sun 5-10min/day and talk to him that this is day time ... the birds are singing ... cars are passing by ... daylight ... we are supposed to be awake. And when it's dark, we sleep. About his bath time, at first we were giving Cody a bath every other night with sponging him down in between but he kept being so fussy and he was calmer, relaxed and sleeps better when we give him a bath. I'm using Cetaphil after I dry him off. Watch out for Connor's "fountain". ha-ha-ha!!! DH already got wet. I told him that he moves too slow.

And I agree, we should move to "Parents after Treatment"! This is it for now. I gotta run! Cody is fussing.

Karen
Failed IUI
hysteroscopy/laparoscopy 1/07 (blocked tube,endo)
IVF 5/07 BFN
FET 11/07, BFP 12/07
07/31/2008 (508am) --> our son was born!

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Postby sharishu » Thu Sep 25, 2008 10:46 am

Hi Ladies,
Last night's sleeping was unbelievable! Elia slept 6.5 hours (until 4.30am), and then from 5 to 7.30am! I was so happy and well rested I couldn't stop kissing him all up! I am wondering if it was just a fluke. He did gulp down 5 ounces for his last nighttime bottle. I will keep you all posted on how it goes tonight.

Rebecca,
You seem to be a natural at this mom thing. I applied what you wrote about placing your hand on Connor's tummy, sort of. When I did my exercise routine this morning, I put Elia down for a nap in his room. He started whimpering. Then I thought of what you did, and I thought, "Maybe he just wants to know I'm here, and that'll calm him down". So I put him in his infant seat right in the room where I was working out. He watched with interest, and in a few minutes, he drifted off to sleep. Beats having to rock him constantly!

Well, Elia is sleeping, so I will try to nap myself. Later!
Shari
Damaged Tubes; 1st IVF- BFN; 2nd IVF-BFP, our precious son :); 3rd IVF stopped due to natural miracle BFP, then mc@8 wks.; 4th IVF: June '11- BFN :( Bring On IVF#4!

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