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nose bleeds

Postby stefanie » Tue Nov 18, 2008 4:18 pm

Stacy -
also try Aquaphor. It's in the drugstore w/ all the face stuff. It's like vaseline but moisturizes as well. It's something you'll use w/ baby too.

I have been dry, but we've been too busy to go to storage to get the humidifier. I too am not happy w/ our humidifier.


My next appointment is 11/24 and my anatomy scan is 12/17

stefanie
Me and DH 40
TTC 2 yrs
4/07 BFP m/c 12 weeks
2 IUIs
IVF 1 Cancelled, IVF 2 BFN, IVF 3 BFP
Beta 1 883 Beta 2 2059 -TWINS!
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Postby kerpupples » Tue Nov 18, 2008 7:01 pm

Great news - low risk for both Down's (1/2400) and trisomy 18 (1/10000). Woohoo!

Not much to report on the u/s though. Baby was sleeping which was great for getting the nuchal measurements. Woke up towards the end but not moving around a ton. Pictures didn't look much different than last time but this was my first abdominal u/s. DH didn't come with me for this one.
Amy
Me: 39 DH: 41 Male Factor
3yo DD from FET
IVF PGD clinical trial, FET Jan 2012 Beta 1/14 447, Beta 1/16 1161 U/S 1/30 it's twins!
Graham and Audrey born 9/5/12. 37w4d, no NICU time!
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Postby PMApsy » Wed Nov 19, 2008 4:37 pm

ImageDue dates Image

ImageSophie is due on May 2nd! One healthy heartbeat! :D Image
ImageStefanie is due on May 3rd! TWINS ALERT! :D:D It's two boys! Image
ImageBrooke is due on May 8th! One healthy heartbeat! :D Image
ImageSmiles2IVF is due on May 10th! One healthy heartbeat! :D Image
ImageToobee is due on May 14th! TWINS ALERT! :D:D Image
ImageAmanda is due on May 16th! TWINS ALERT! :D:D Image
ImageAnie is due on May 17th! TWINS ALERT! :D:D Image
ImageStacy is due on May 17th! One healthy heartbeat! :DImage
ImageAmy is due on May 24th! Image

ImageUltrasounds and medical appointments Image

ImageSophie ob-gyn apt on November 20th! Image
ImageSmiles2IVF apt November 24th! Image
ImageStefanie apt November 24th! Image
ImageSophie ultrasound on December 12th! Image
ImageStefanie ultrasound on December 17th! Image

Image In our thoughts and prayers Image
ImageValerie, we are sorry for your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, dear friend.
1st and 2nd IVF = BFN 1st FET BFP! m/c at 7 weeks. 2nd FET BFP! 3rd FET BFN
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Postby kerpupples » Thu Nov 20, 2008 9:54 pm

Had a bit of a scare last night. Went to the bathroom at the gym and discovered some spotting. Of course I was too nervous to finish my workout so I ran home and called the Dr. She assured me that since it was brown and very light that it was nothing to worry about as long as it tapered off. It seems to have done just that. I don't know how you ladies that have had bright red blood have handled it!

Sophie, how was your appointment?
Amy
Me: 39 DH: 41 Male Factor
3yo DD from FET
IVF PGD clinical trial, FET Jan 2012 Beta 1/14 447, Beta 1/16 1161 U/S 1/30 it's twins!
Graham and Audrey born 9/5/12. 37w4d, no NICU time!
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Postby PMApsy » Fri Nov 21, 2008 2:56 pm

HI ladies! Where are youuuuuu? How are you doing?? :D

Hi Amy,

I'm so sorry your body gave you a scare last night. These things happen very frequently, and even more frequently with IVFers (because we're artificially stimulated, more than necessary). I can't recommend this enough; next time you see your doc, ask her to check your cervix. My cervix is very fragile. It changes nothing to my pregnancy, but it means it's easy to make it bleed a little. So each time I find suspect discharge, I just know my cervix must have bled a tiny bit, hence the different color, and I don't worry anymore. You've seen your baby, it was big and healthy. It would take MUCH more than a little spotting to cause him/her trouble! ;)

Thanks for asking about my apt. It didn't go well at all, it was a disaster in fact. The baby is doing fine and it's very strong and healthy. But I grabbed my file and read it while waiting for the doctor. To make a long story short, the info I read about my prenatal tests was a bit different from what the technician had told me. My due date had been calculated as April 30th, not May 2nd. Plus I saw that my uterus was "anterior". Same as my best friend. The doctor came in and she asked why I looked angry (I wasn't angry, just annoyed). I began to explain that the due date reported there was different than what they had told me. She argued right away that it had no importance because I did IVF, and because we know the exact day of the conception, the baby measurements changed absolutely nothing. In a word, that my due date was still May 5th and not May 2nd or April 30th. That didn't make any sense to me. Why, when the fertility doc signed my official papers for the workplace, he based the due date on the ultrasound and wrote May 2nd???

And then I mentioned the placenta. She said right away that, again, it made no difference because what the technician meant when she told me it was "on top" was that it was anterior. "But then," I said, "I'll have to make sure the doc knows that if I have a C-section, because bad things could happen if the doc doesn't know my placenta is on the front." Immediately she argued that, hey, come on, she had done several c-sections in her life and she didn't need patients to tell her what to do. I started feeling really bad and I started shaking. I explained that my friend, who is a doctor and who assisted many c-sections during her training, who is also pregnant right now with an anterior placenta, told me she would make sure her doc knows that fact if she has a c-section. Because, during her training, she was at a hospital where a woman had died recently because the doc didn't know the placenta was anterior and he cut right through it. It was impossible to cauterize and the woman died on the operating table. The obstetrician was super experienced and respected, and he retired right there after that incident.

By the time I had explained that, I was shaking and crying hysterically. I just couldn't stop, it was uncontrollable. I had absolutely no idea why I reacted that way, I was joking with my husband two minutes earlier. But the doc's attitude was really problematic. She didn't listen to me and she kept contradicting me and dismissing the info I gave her, each time. It made me feel really bad. And when she saw me cry like that and didn't understand what was making me upset, she repeated, again and again, "I can't work that way... no, no it can't, I can't base my medical relationship with you that way, it won't work, it won't work, I just came back from a meeting, I arrive here this morning and... no, it can't work that way, I mean, I'm usually considered the sweetest doc in the team here and... ." :shock: :shock: And I was thinking, "So, what, you're kicking me out? You don't want to be my doc anymore? You want me to find someone else? Are you aware we're in Quebec and I'll have a super hard time finding someone else???" So of course that made me cry even more uncontrollably.

THANK GOD the secretary came knocking at the door because the doc had a phone call. She excused herself and went out. I head her giggle and laugh with her friend through the wall, and it gave me some time to collect myself. When she came back, I apologized. I told her that we wouldn't listen to anybody else than her from now on. I reminded her that, usually, I'm an easy patient and that this won't happen again. I felt so ashamed, I wanted to crawl under a rock and die. DIE! :oops:

But now I know what happened. There's the fact that I put a lot of pressure upon myself to be a good patient. To gather and give accurate info, because I've heard my father and his wife complain all my life about their patients. I work in a hospital. I know what doctors expect, what drives them crazy, and I try to meet their expectations because I want to be treated well and to be kept informed and treated like an adult. And seeing her dismiss my comments systematically, without listening much, and all her comments "won't work that way" really made me feel bad. She could have given me some time to collect myself because it was obvious I wasn't coherent, see another patient in the meantime, and come back to me and give the consult a fresh start. How difficult would that have been???

And there's something else. It's my best friend. You remember, that friend had to go through three IUI with donor sperm before she became pregnant. She went through a year and a half of failed ttc before she went to see a doctor. And she learned only last February that her husband's sperm was the problem. So she had to adapt to a lot of stuff during that time and everything went quite quickly. There are some things in my friend's personality that really don't help her adaptation process. She's a person that is really cautious and, when she's been hurt, she won't trust easily because she protects herself 200%. Plus she doesn,t let go easily, it's her biggest flaw.

So since February, I've been there for her. I've listened to her and I tried to be a good friend. But to be honest, it was difficult for me, and sometimes a burden. it's one thing to listen to a friend, be empathic, maybe give some advice, discuss, and then have the impression that you're lifting her spirits, or helping her feel better, grow, adapt more. But with that friend who doesn't let go and protects herself a lot, I've almost never had that reward since February. Or if I had it, we had to do it all over again two weeks later because she was right back at square one, emotionally. She doesn't realize how much help she needs right now; she sees the clinic's psychologist... but it's one apt every, what, 3 months? Not nearly enough.

Take last weekend for example. We went shopping all day for baby stuff. All morning she went on and on about her worries about her husband's attitude, about the fact she isn't showing much even if she's 19 weeks, about how she feels breathless sometimes for no reason and worries despite the fact her doc dismissed it as something minor, about her anterior placenta, about her mother-in-law, about the inappropriate comments she heard from a patient and from co-workers about her maternity leave. I let her vent for hours, and I tried to be patient. But it all came down to the fact that these events and these comments tap right into her own worries and her own feelings of guilt. And that's why she just can't let go. If one of my patients was frustrated at the fact I'll be away for a year, said he understood but still found it unacceptable, let me tell you, I'd let that slide right off me. It's obvious that patient had unrealistic expectations. Just because I don't feel guilty about leaving. Not my friend.

The problem is, my friend is a family doctor, and she's still inexperienced. So when she worries about a gazillion things with her pregnancy (she started worrying the second she held a positive HTP in her hand... "OH, I felt pain in my right side last week... maybe I'm doing an ectopic pregnancy, oh no!!!"), she infuses a lot of medical facts and horror stories in her speech. And of course I hear all that, because she confides to me. Like that anterior placenta thing. And, despite the fact I've been quite relaxed with my pregnancy since the ultrasound, that info makes its way into my brain and I become vigilant to unnessary things. For example, the doc told me that you can't properly evaluate the final position of the placenta before the 20-weeks ultrasound. My friend sure forgot that fact when she worried about the nightmarish c-section she heard about.

Again, my doc jumped too fast to the conclusion when she said my friend and I were too close during our pregnancies. We don't speak every day, and we don't only talk about that. Since the ultrasound, I only babbled about buying stuff for the baby, the decoration theme, my knitting and sewing projects, and so on. Fun stuff. My friend mostly vented about her anxiety. But my doc was right about one thing. My friend will keep worrying all the way to her delivery, make scenarios and mix in a lot of distorted medical knowledge in it. And after that, she'll worry and make scenarios about the development of her child. He rolled over at x months, the norm is xx, he had his first tooth at x months, the norm is xx and xx things could go wrong at that point, he started eating this and that at this stage... and, even if I don't want to, I'll look at my own child with all the medical facts she'll throw at me while worrying, and I'll evaluate and compare our kids unnecessarily. I SO don't want that!!!

So tonight, we have a date. We'll have dinner and then we'll see the Lord of the Dance show. I have to talk to her, or I'll go crazy. I've given it a lot of thoughts, and I think I've found a good way to talk to her. It's delicate, because I still want to be there for her, and friends discuss their fears, it's okay. But venting that goes nowhere, and especially medical venting... I can't accept that anymore.

And to top all that, I finally talked to the doc about something quite intimate and delicate. And my worst fears were confirmed. It means I'll have to go through more interventions that will invade my intimacy, and I cried for two hours straight after we got the news. My husband was a bit discouraged and frustrated that we'll have yet another problem to deal with. Plus it has to wait until after the delivery. But I'm starting to feel better. I know we'll soon have a plan and things will improve. I just didn't need that now. Anyway.

So on this happy note, dear, I hope the big scare never comes back! Enjoy your weekend,

Sophie xxox :D
1st and 2nd IVF = BFN 1st FET BFP! m/c at 7 weeks. 2nd FET BFP! 3rd FET BFN
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Postby kerpupples » Sun Nov 23, 2008 4:39 pm

Sophie,

First of all, I'm terribly sorry about your appointment. Perhaps your doctor was on the defensive to start with because you were reading your charts and questioning her work. I've always heard from my friend who is a doctor that doctors make the most difficult patients, and that may be transferring since you have so many in your circle. I think it's important to find someone you trust and then do just that. They are trained and have done this a time or two. I'm sure the C-section case you heard of from your friend frightened you but you do have to remember that it is anecdotal and there are far more cases that came out just fine. I would imagine they look with an ultrasound before they just start cutting away, don't they? Also, your uterus isn't done growing. Your placenta could end up positioned a bit differently by the time you deliver. And your DH will be there so hopefully he can communicate the info to a doctor if necessary.

Second, be gentle with yourself! You have so many hormones coursing through your veins right now. Being overemotional is par for the course, and it's OK. I certainly hope your doctor feels that way too.

And I have one final point. I do it at risk of hurting your feelings but I am trying to help. Your posts are long. Really long. If the purpose is to vent then that's fine, vent away, I know it will make you feel better. But if you want the interaction with others you keep asking for it may help to filter a bit.

When do you go back go the doctor? I really hope you have a better experience with your next appointment.
Amy
Me: 39 DH: 41 Male Factor
3yo DD from FET
IVF PGD clinical trial, FET Jan 2012 Beta 1/14 447, Beta 1/16 1161 U/S 1/30 it's twins!
Graham and Audrey born 9/5/12. 37w4d, no NICU time!
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Postby PMApsy » Sun Nov 23, 2008 11:13 pm

Hey Amy,

Thanks for replying. Alas, I think you missed my point. Gathering information is a way for me to be more efficient, especially with the medical staff. That includes reading my file, which never got any of my docs upset in the past (and I've had many). Therefore, my doctor friend's comment about the c-section going bad didn't worry me, it just sent the message that reminding my doctor about it might be the right thing to do (that friend wants to do just that if she has a c-section). I don't care much about where my placenta is, but I want to know if its position means something or not. For example, an anterior placenta might mean I won't feel the baby kick until week 22 or even 24, and it's simply good to know.

After talking to people who know that doctor, it is much clearer what belonged to me and what didn't. That doctor panics if she sees a strong display of emotion. She's also like most specialists; she'll do anything to have the last word. Looking back on how the interview went, I now know how to behave during apts to make both our lives easier. My friend can't believe I won't find a new doctor with a better attitude, but I know it's really hard to find (the more they specialize, usually, the closer to God they think they are, believe me).

I was very surprised to read your comments about the length of my posts. If you find my posts too long, don't read them! :lol: I guess it really depends on the people who visit the thread; lately I've had several positive comments about people I don't even know reading my posts and enjoying them. Either way, if you noticed, people here don't really interact at all, no matter who's posting and how many words they type.

Have a great week Amy, and I hope the scary spotting has stopped.

Sophie xxox
1st and 2nd IVF = BFN 1st FET BFP! m/c at 7 weeks. 2nd FET BFP! 3rd FET BFN
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Postby smiles2IVF » Tue Nov 25, 2008 12:17 am

Well I had a big scare of the other night I was in a 5 car accident. I went to the hospital...I was so nervous that the baby was in disstress..today I went back to the DR and they said that't I'm losing weight and not gaining. and my blood pressure was high...So the dr says I have to try to eat more thorughout the day...so I'm trying...Hope all is well with everyone else....I will find out the sex of the baby nov.28
ME-30
DH-45
PCOS
ET-8-20-08
BFP-BETA #1=380
BETA # 2=6174
beta -3 42,352
Due May 10, 2009

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Postby kerpupples » Tue Nov 25, 2008 9:11 pm

Wow smiles, that's so scary! I'm glad to hear that you're OK. That's one of my own fears, having a car accident while pg.

Have you been stressed lately otherwise? That would explain the high BP and the weight loss. Maybe you need a nice massage. :) Try to eat lots at Thanksgiving so that you can get used to eating more.
Amy
Me: 39 DH: 41 Male Factor
3yo DD from FET
IVF PGD clinical trial, FET Jan 2012 Beta 1/14 447, Beta 1/16 1161 U/S 1/30 it's twins!
Graham and Audrey born 9/5/12. 37w4d, no NICU time!
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Postby smiles2IVF » Tue Dec 02, 2008 12:11 am

I found out it's a BOY!!!!!
ME-30
DH-45
PCOS
ET-8-20-08
BFP-BETA #1=380
BETA # 2=6174
beta -3 42,352
Due May 10, 2009

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Postby stefanie » Wed Dec 03, 2008 12:41 am

Hey all -

I'm back from vacation -

My news is brief. We are starting to get ready for things in case of bedrest. I haven't bought stuff, but we started to pick things out. I got some gear from relatives while I was home (hand me downs) and my sister took me to babies r us and showed me what's what. I was happy to find they had a good selection of organic stuff. We have a lot coming up, including possibly moving. As they say, one day at a time.

smiles 2IVF - a BOY! yay!!! wow so fun. I've known about my boys for a few weeks now and I'm just in love w/ them now. So sorry about the car accident. Must've been terrifying. Keep eating. Lots of protein and dairy if nothing else.


PMApsy- I am going to go on a limb and agree w/ kerpupples. I have a hard time reading long posts. It's hard on my eyes. It's a blogger thing: there is a rule w/ blogging which is to keep each post to a few short paragraphs or people don't read. (It's something I learned from my husband who is a web designer) I would love to hear your stories and news, but the long posts are hard for me. I guess I think of message boards as just that. quick messages and updates. Again, it's just one person's opinion. I don't think Kerpupples meant any harm in what she was saying.

Also, I try to respond to people but although I read everyone's post, sometimes I forget when I get to the end everyone I wanted to check in with. I felt like you were really reprimanding people about that. I read most ALL posts, and I respond when I feel I have something useful to contribute. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy hearing from people. And I trust that people who don't respond to my posts feel the same. I don't think we can force people to interact. When you posted about that, I considered not coming back to the thread.



stef
Me and DH 40
TTC 2 yrs
4/07 BFP m/c 12 weeks
2 IUIs
IVF 1 Cancelled, IVF 2 BFN, IVF 3 BFP
Beta 1 883 Beta 2 2059 -TWINS!
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Postby PMApsy » Wed Dec 03, 2008 7:55 pm

Hey ladies,

Smiles,
Congrats on your beautiful little boy!

Stef,
I hear you on the long posts. I think it's simply a professional habit. I know that people can easily misunderstand your message when you don't take the time to explain yourself, which is why I felt that need. As I told Amy, I don't think my long posts are responsible for people not posting or interacting on the thread. Heck, I stopped posting for over a week and it changed nothing to the interaction/posting situation.

I kept in touch with Valerie and she was telling me that she, too, found it really too bad that the girls weren't posting and interacting more. She even thought she'd come here and tell you in person to try and shake the thread out of its lethargy, but I guess it's still sensitive for her and I understand. She's doing better by the way. If you felt reprimanded by my comments, I apologize because it wasn't my intention, but it demonstrates what short comments can do. I felt rebuffed when you answered to my baby names questions in a rush, and same thing, you didn't mean to be harsh. I guess it's indeed a personal opinion.

Gotta run,

S.
1st and 2nd IVF = BFN 1st FET BFP! m/c at 7 weeks. 2nd FET BFP! 3rd FET BFN
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Postby shantala » Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:18 pm

hi everyone

sorry to crash your thread but it hurts me to read your posts....having been a member of this site for a very long time and having known sophie (PMApsy) on here since she joined, i think some of the comments on here about sophie and her style of writing are inappropriate and insensitive. you all should be overjoyed at getting your BFPs and sharing the good (and the bad) moments about your BFPs regardless of how short or long posts are.

everybody is different, everybody writes differently and everybody deals with their emotions differently. as sophie said, if her posts are too long, then dont read them or just skim read them. but i can tell you now, if you dont read them or just skim read them, you'll more than likely miss interesting, caring and sensitive information. many of times has sophie and her long posts picked me up in down times and i would hate to think that she stops doing that because of other people's insensitive attacks.

as for the thread going a bit dead....i've seen many BFP threads go dead in the second trimester as everyone just gets on with their pregnancy. its not news any more and it becomes more interesting towards the end of the BFP again when people will post a bit more again. so i dont think it has anything to do with how people post.

thanks.

x
2nd IVF/ICSI - baby girl Elliana born 21.4.08 weighing 7lb 6.5ounces; 7 frosties left...
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Postby kerpupples » Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:30 pm

Insensitive attacks? I'm sorry, but I take offense at that. I went out of my way to avoid being insensitive, and Stefanie is correct about rules of blogging. Nothing here was meant as, or as far as I can tell can be considered as, an attack.

You'll not have to worry about insensitivity or otherwise from me on this thread again. Enjoy your pregnancy all, I'm headed back to the Aug/Sept thread in the IVF forum.
Amy
Me: 39 DH: 41 Male Factor
3yo DD from FET
IVF PGD clinical trial, FET Jan 2012 Beta 1/14 447, Beta 1/16 1161 U/S 1/30 it's twins!
Graham and Audrey born 9/5/12. 37w4d, no NICU time!
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Postby stefanie » Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:51 pm

no one was being insensitive. I think people were being honest in an attempt to keep the blog open and working for EVERYONE, not just Sophie. Sophie has had no problem telling other people how to respond, and that they should be writing personal messages and other things. Maybe she shouldn't dish it out if she can't take it. Isn't she a therapist? I think kerpuppls and I were just honestly stating our feelings about things. No one was being vicious or mean. AT ALL.

Honestly, we are adults and message boards are for exchange, no? this is the exchange that is happening. It really needn't have been this way.

perhaps it is a second trimester slump. I personally know some people who left the thread for other reasons and was just chiming in.

Anyway, I'm done.
Me and DH 40
TTC 2 yrs
4/07 BFP m/c 12 weeks
2 IUIs
IVF 1 Cancelled, IVF 2 BFN, IVF 3 BFP
Beta 1 883 Beta 2 2059 -TWINS!
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