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Announcement of pregnancy and birth following assisted reproductive treatment.


Postby SilverAngel679 » Wed Dec 03, 2008 2:24 pm

Hi there ladies, I just wanted to get some other oppinions out there because I truely feel like I might be the only pregnant woman that doesn't have a problem with people touching my belly.
My husband and I had a 50th birthday party last Saturday and it was the first time people had seen me looking as pregnant as I do now.
A very good family friend who knows what we've been through saw me and made THE BIGGEST fuss over me. Hugging me and rubbing my belly.
But then all of a sudden she snatched her hands away, even though I was smiling ear to ear, and appologized!! Saying that she shouldn't do that and she was sorry for doing it without asking.
I immediatly took her hands and put them back on my belly and assured her that I WAS NOT one of those women. That I loved it and she was free to do it when ever she wanted to.
She told me that her niece was due any day and that she disliked anyone touching her at all.
I also noticed that during the party, other people would almost touch my belly, but stopped themselves. Which I was kind of disappointed at because I really have no problem with it at all.
A cousin of mine was pg last year and she would complain to me about her mother-in-law touching her belly. HER MOTHER-IN-LAW!!!
I've also been online looking at pregnancy T-shirts and there are some nasty ones. Like "NO TOUCHING!!" or "KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF" And "Yes, I'm pregnant and No you can't touch my belly."
I just don't understand what the big deal is. I mean, don't get me wrong I don't want perfect strangers coming up and touching me but is it really just me out there that doesn't mind it if friends and family do it without invitation?
I keep thinking maybe us IVFers would care a little less than women who don't have a problem because we've waited for and struggled for this. Is that true or do you lady's not like it just as much?
I don't think I would care even if I did get pg on my own because I look at it this way, being pregnant and having life inside you is a beautiful thing that people are drawn to and want to share. Is it really such a big deal to let them share in the miracle of a baby growing inside you?
What do you ladies think?
Me: Liz, 29 (Healthy)DH: Tom, 28 (Male factor)
IVF#2: BFP (m/c @ 14weeks)
IVF#3: BFP Twin Boys, born 3/23/09
Posts: 325
Joined: Wed Aug 13, 2008 8:33 pm


Postby jenniferdp » Wed Dec 03, 2008 4:16 pm

I'm with you 100%. I LOVE people touching my belly and I flash them (freinds/family) my belly every chance I get!
Had twins
4lbs 12oz, 17 3/4" long
3lbs 9oz, 16" long
March 9, 2006
Posts: 198
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 2:22 pm

Postby angram » Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:17 pm

I know lots of women don't like their belly touched, but I'm not one of them. I don't mind at all that people want to touch, it's a damn miracle I'm even pregnant and I'm going to enjoy every single minute :) I say bring it on, people are just genuinely happy and some just show their excitement by touching.
Me 38 - DH 34
IVF#2 - BFP 6/29

Posts: 457
Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2008 12:16 am
Location: Texas

Postby esperanza » Thu Dec 04, 2008 5:03 am

I agree with you both. I remember hearing the argument about "don't touch a pregnant woman's belly" for a looonggg time. I can actually understand and respect that. I thought I would have the same feeling BUT, no true. Just like you, I love the attention my belly is getting. It makes it real for me...it's like "oh my God, I am really having a baby and people are noticing!!!" I was really scared to tell people for a long time, it was pretty much a secret. Now that my belly is obviously showing, I'm enjoying every minute of it.

One of my classmates rubs my belly first before giving me a hug. Today she told me "no, no, you don't get a hug yet, I have to say hi to the baby first" ...I laughed. I thought it was cute :)

I actually live faraway from home, but if I were close to my closest relatives, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE for them to touch my belly and talk to the baby :lol:
There's definitely something precious for society about seeing a pregnant woman. I think!
me: 33 dh: 40
2 miscarriages (natural pregs. #1 Aug 2006, #2 May 2010)
IVF # 1 jan 08 BFN
FET #1 March 08 BFN
FET #2 July 08 BFP (DD born on April 2009)
Posts: 594
Joined: Sun Oct 28, 2007 5:08 pm
Location: Las Cruces, NM. USA (orig. from Venezuela)

Postby kholtan » Thu Dec 04, 2008 4:17 pm

I know lots of women who don't mind it but I personally only feel ok with people I know really well touching me. For me, I have never been one of those women that really liked to be touched by people in general so I to have people invade my space when I'm not pg much less when I am is not my favorite thing.

I am never mean about it or anything like that. I don't push people away or anything I simply just don't really like it. :( Then again, I would NEVER get a massage or anything like that either because it just makes me cringe! I'm wierd! What can ya do???
Me 35, DH 35
Ectopic Oct. 2005
IVF transfer 1-21-07. . .TWINS!!!!


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Postby Fluffypuppygal » Thu Dec 04, 2008 4:58 pm

I'm going to come from the other side of the fence! I don't mind people I know and am on good terms with touching me - it is the same as a hug or any other personal contact.
However I would have problems with complete strangers or people who I barely know coming up to me in the supermarket and grabbing me, the same as I would feel akward about strangers hugging me.
Me - 37, DH - 46
1 m/c at 26, 1 ectopic at 27
BFP with 1st IVF! 1st beta 60.85, 2nd beta 975!! Its a boy!
3rd trimester starts February 14th.
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Location: Seattle

Postby esperanza » Fri Dec 05, 2008 4:07 am

well, I have to agree with you on that one. I love touch in general, I come from a culture where we tend to touch each other and "personal space" means something different from what most people in the US are used to, BUT if a complete stranger came to me a touched me or rubbed my belly I would feel uncomfortable (unless it was maybe a person who reminded me of my grandma or something :lol: ).
me: 33 dh: 40
2 miscarriages (natural pregs. #1 Aug 2006, #2 May 2010)
IVF # 1 jan 08 BFN
FET #1 March 08 BFN
FET #2 July 08 BFP (DD born on April 2009)
Posts: 594
Joined: Sun Oct 28, 2007 5:08 pm
Location: Las Cruces, NM. USA (orig. from Venezuela)

Postby karenvancouverisland » Sun Dec 07, 2008 11:00 pm

well...i don't have a belly 'yet'- but greatly looking forward to it growing...but what i already know about myself in general is that i'm sensitive to people invading my personal space. i grew up without physical affection and although i strive to hug, touch, and be affectionate with those i care for, that i'm reactive to those who i don't know well coming at me physically.

i'll probably be one of those PG ladies who will love my belly, and love for my Dh to touch it, but be very leary of others..

to me it's more about different life experiences; not so much about my degree of happiness with my belly, or having done IVF and wanted this so badly. i want to share this miracle with everyone, i'll just need my physical space respected too. :D
38 yrs. DOR, TTC since '04, recommended DE but didn't listen
3 IVF's & 1 FET: 1 cancellation, 1 m/c @ 12 wks, 1 chemical, 1 miracle boy & miracle 'natural' PG right now while waiting to cycle (WTF?)
feb 21 hb 154
Posts: 713
Joined: Wed May 07, 2008 3:20 am

Postby PMApsy » Wed Dec 10, 2008 8:39 pm

The belly touching question seems to be very personal. I think the ladies who expressed both a like and a dislike of it all have very good reasons. I work in a hospital and I would be completely horrified if one of my patients touched my belly. It's too intimate and it just wouldn't be healthy for our professional relationship. However, with my colleagues, my personal record is 3 nurses' hands simultaneously on my belly the second I really started showing, and I found it very cute! ;) Who knows, maybe I'll beat the record before I take my maternity leave! ;) As for family members and friends, I don't really mind because I know them well and I tell myself, "I'd hug them and kiss them hello and goodbye, why not let them touch my belly without having to ask permission first?"

However, like an author I read said, "Pregnant women seem to be a public property". If a stranger came to me and touched my belly, I'd smile and caress theirs in return until they take a step back. I think most of them would get the message! If not, we'd probably just giggle together. A celebrity here got so annoyed at people rushing to her belly that she started doing that and it solved the problem in most cases! I think it was a great idea!
1st and 2nd IVF = BFN 1st FET BFP! m/c at 7 weeks. 2nd FET BFP! 3rd FET BFN
Now let's spend the rest of our lives having fun together! Image
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