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4th month and still not confindent- hating that

Announcement of pregnancy and birth following assisted reproductive treatment.

4th month and still not confindent- hating that

Postby karenvancouverisland » Sun Jan 18, 2009 6:48 am

maybe i've had too many failures, or maybe i don't have enough PGsymtoms, but i finally made it through the 2nd trimested, which i said before "if i get there, THEN i'll be happy"- well it's not true!!!

i also had bleeding at week 9, and spotting til a week ago since, and i said 'if the spotting stops, THEN i'll feel ok"..it's not true either.

i do feel better, but i can't shake the feeling of apprehension. maybe i have too much time on my hands.. i heard the heartbeat 5 days ago, and it seems like an eternity.

i want to shake this need for constant reassurance- can anyone relate?
38 yrs. DOR, TTC since '04, recommended DE but didn't listen
3 IVF's & 1 FET: 1 cancellation, 1 m/c @ 12 wks, 1 chemical, 1 miracle boy & miracle 'natural' PG right now while waiting to cycle (WTF?)
feb 21 hb 154
Posts: 713
Joined: Wed May 07, 2008 3:20 am

Postby JamieP » Sun Jan 18, 2009 12:21 pm

Don't hold your breath. I am at the end of my second trimester and still feel just as you do! I have tried really hard to just have the mentality 'what will be will be' but it has been hard. I think it actually gets more difficult the further along you get as the further along you are the more you have to lose.

The good thing is once you start to feel the baby kick you get lots more reassurance. Although then if you have been busy for a few days and not noticed the baby moving around you start to freak out!! Oh dear what to do.

Good luck with trying to relax and enjoy things - it can be very difficult.

Posts: 74
Joined: Sun Dec 14, 2008 5:33 pm

Postby Fluffypuppygal » Sun Jan 18, 2009 3:50 pm

Hooray! It's not just me!!! :D
I can totally relate to where you both are at!
I think there is some mental / survival mechanism programmed into us, so that after a series of crushing dissapointments we start to feel safer expecting dissapointment than having blind faith that everything will be okay.
I'm not a big fan of Dr. Phil, but he did have a great line: "Happiness is getting what you expected." Somehow, it is more comforting for me to think I would rather be dissapointed as expected, than dissapointed and stupid to boot.
My big milestone was "If I can just make it to 20 weeks." Now it is 25 weeks. Let's just get there, gang!
Hang in there! :wink:
Me - 37, DH - 46
1 m/c at 26, 1 ectopic at 27
BFP with 1st IVF! 1st beta 60.85, 2nd beta 975!! Its a boy!
3rd trimester starts February 14th.
Posts: 109
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2008 4:04 am
Location: Seattle

Postby esperanza » Sun Jan 18, 2009 7:21 pm

Here, here! I'm just starting my third trimester and last night I had a nightmare about loosing the baby and having to rush to the hospital...imagine that!

I have my moments of enjoyment and relaxation, but then all of the sudden a negative thought comes out of nowhere!!! my dh, keeps telling me "things are going to be ok, our girl is fine!"....ah, after everything we've gone through, the trauma remains, ya know what I mean? That's why I love this forum, it represents sanity for me.

Sending positive vibes to everyone for healthy pregnancies and babies.
me: 33 dh: 40
2 miscarriages (natural pregs. #1 Aug 2006, #2 May 2010)
IVF # 1 jan 08 BFN
FET #1 March 08 BFN
FET #2 July 08 BFP (DD born on April 2009)
Posts: 594
Joined: Sun Oct 28, 2007 5:08 pm
Location: Las Cruces, NM. USA (orig. from Venezuela)

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