Lost my baby girl at 20 weeks, please help ...

Announcement of pregnancy and birth following assisted reproductive treatment.
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Lost my baby girl at 20 weeks, please help ...

Post by angelaezra » Wed Feb 11, 2009 12:33 am

I just had my 20 week appointment yesterday only to find out that our baby girl is gone. I asked for second opinion from a high risk OB and she confirmed it. I can't believe this is happening! I keep thinking I'm dreaming. I can't believe I am loosing another child. But, with this one I have to deliver her tomorrow. I don't understand how life can be so cruel. I feel like I can't go on ...

When my RE did my blood work up, I tested positive for the Lupus Antigen but I currently do not have it. I have been on daily Heparin shots and baby aspirin since I have been pregnant. But, obviously it did not do any good. I don't know who else to turn to but you ladies. Please help me, what do I do next?

1 miscarriage 2002 (nat)
1 ectopic pregnancy 2006 (nat)
1st IVF 10/08-BFP twins/misc-6 1/2 wks & stillbirth 21 wks
2nd FET 6/09-BFN
3rd IVF 2010-April-BFP - DD born 12/7/10

Lost Ashley Nicole Thomas at 21 weeks


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Post by CT_Michele » Wed Feb 11, 2009 12:44 am

Angela- I am so sad to read your news. I am sitting here almost in tears. It truly is a cruel world when wonderful women like yourself must endure such heartache. I don;t have any advice, I just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and that all of the ladies here will do whatever we can to ease your pain.
Me- 28 DH- 33 Male Factor
1st IVF- 12/07- BFP! Ella Michele was born 8/26/8
2nd IVF- 04/09 - BFN
1st FET- 09/09 - Chemical
3rd IVF - 04/11 - Embies didn't make it to ET
4th IVF - Fall 2011??

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Post by Much Hope » Wed Feb 11, 2009 3:04 am


I am so so sorry for the loss of your little girl. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please know we are all here for you.

10dp5dt 405
12dp5dt 924
14dp5dt 2255.7
U/S confirmed Triplets, 3 little Girls
We know their females from PGD


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Post by esperanza » Wed Feb 11, 2009 6:30 am

All I can say is I'm so sorry honey. I have no other words, and my heart is breaking. I know that whatever we say won't ease your pain, but I want you to know that we are here for you as you go through such a huge loss.

me: 33 dh: 40
2 miscarriages (natural pregs. #1 Aug 2006, #2 May 2010)
IVF # 1 jan 08 BFN
FET #1 March 08 BFN
FET #2 July 08 BFP (DD born on April 2009)

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Post by BIGREDIOWAN » Wed Feb 11, 2009 8:55 am


Nothing I can say is going to make the sorrow go away, but I wanted to let you know as well that I'm here with you along with everyone else. This is a tough time for you and no amount of words is going to make it better quickly. I'm so sorry................. :(
Destiny is not a matter of chance, it's a matter of choice.

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Post by bdantonio » Wed Feb 11, 2009 1:21 pm

i wrote to you on the loss page also. I know the feeling if you need to talk i am here

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Post by Pummalaemma » Wed Feb 11, 2009 2:11 pm


I am so so sorry for your loss. I don't know what to say, just know that we are here for you whenever you need us.


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Post by ajdec » Wed Feb 11, 2009 2:22 pm

Angela - I am sorry for your loss. You and your DH are in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

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Post by kholtan » Wed Feb 11, 2009 3:45 pm

thoughts and prayers are with you! I am soooo sorry for what you are going thru and the sadness you must be feeling. Take care of each other in this difficult time. HUGS!
Me 35, DH 35
Ectopic Oct. 2005
IVF transfer 1-21-07. . .TWINS!!!!



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Post by kerpupples » Wed Feb 11, 2009 4:03 pm

Oh no honey, I'm so so sorry. I think that is all our biggest fear when we go to our 20 week scan. I guess the only thing to do for now is to start the grieving process, which may not hit until you deliver her. Oh....my heart is breaking for you. Be kind to yourself and DH during this difficult time.
Me: 39 DH: 41 Male Factor
3yo DD from FET
IVF PGD clinical trial, FET Jan 2012 Beta 1/14 447, Beta 1/16 1161 U/S 1/30 it's twins!
Graham and Audrey born 9/5/12. 37w4d, no NICU time!

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Post by Arabsrcool » Wed Feb 11, 2009 7:03 pm


I am soo sorry for your loss. My heart is breaking for you and your lost angel. Take care of you.

Miscarriage @12 weeks, 2000(natural)
1st DD born 3/21/05 (IUI)(3 IUI's)
2nd DD born 11/17/08 (1st IVF)
FET: 1/21/10, BFN.
FET:2/25/10, BFP. 1st beta # 459; 2nd beta #1106
June 2010, late miscarriage at 17 weeks, baby's heart just stopped beating.

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Post by sciteacher77 » Wed Feb 11, 2009 8:45 pm

I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our daughter last year at 23 weeks to an Incompetent Cervix. I know your pain - it is awful! All I can say is take your time grieving your loss. There is no right or wrong way to handle the loss of your daughter. When I was ready, I researched every possible treatment for my condition. I became my own advocate and had a procedure done that is not nearly as common. However, I know it has allowed me to get through the pregnancy I am currently in. Feel free to PM me any time. I am so sorry that you and your DH have to go through this.

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Post by Marina_A » Wed Feb 11, 2009 8:49 pm

Angela,I'm so sorry! I lost my baby boy a year ago the same way-his h/b stopped at 16 weeks.I know exactly how awful you feel-I was there a year ago and ,in fact, a week ago(we lost one of our twins at the same time-16 weeks,the only positive moment-we still have another one with us!)
I just want to tell you facts,since you've asked what's next.They sent me to the hospital,did another u/s to confirm and start inducing me-it took 24 hours until I was ready to deliver.Ask for epidural -the pain is no less then the regular delivery,you don't have to suffer through that too.I didn't take it,because I didn't know.They'll offer you to hold the baby and take a picture,it's your choice-I didn't,just couldn't make myself, I personally think it's a torture to see your baby every time and go through this nightmare over and over again instead trying to heal and move on. They'll send a person- grief counselor to talk to you.You 'll have to decide if you want to bury your baby or have hospital take care.My placenta didn't come out right away,so they had to do D&C also.
I'm going through this again in my head and crying with you :cry: ,it is so wrong!It will get easier with time even it seems like nothing can help you now.I still can't talk about this,but what helped me,the minute I was felling better physicaly,I knew I'm going to try again and I think that hope helped me through these long 3 month they told me I have to wait until we can try again.Nothing will replace this baby you've lost,only time will help you to get better.
again,very sorry for your loss!
In your case they might find the reason why it happened,so you'll be able to avoid this next time,with me-they never did. :cry:
IVF#1-BFP,but lost our angel at 16 weeks
IVF#3-BFP,started w/tiplets,lost one at 7 weeks,lost a second at 15 weeks
Praying for a miracle baby to stay with us!
It's a girl!


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Post by Xrayem » Wed Feb 11, 2009 9:48 pm

I am so very sorry for your loss.
TTC 5yrs - Unexplained Infertility
3xIUI's (April, June & Aug 06) - BFN,s
1st IVF - Oct 06 - Jasper & Finlay born 07/06/07
Natural preg - Addison Grace born 15/10/08

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Post by natashamom » Thu Feb 12, 2009 4:02 am

I just wanted to express my sorrow for your loss.

This is a tragical moment,a worst nightmare for parents to be.

I pray for you to get the strenght to recover as soon as possible and to find the reason to this tragedy so that when you try again you won`t go trough this ever again.

Praying a lot for you with tears in my eyes.


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