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Twins, did you do fertility treatments?

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Twins, did you do fertility treatments?

Postby babyhope1 » Wed Mar 04, 2009 8:13 pm

OK ladies, I need to know, I am far enough along to tell people I am prego but I am keeping the twin thing secret. So, when people find out its twins they get nosy and ask, did you do fertility treatments. For those I don't know I will politely say, "why did you?" (answer a question with a question - its the best way to get away from it)

However, my friends back home will be nosy. Since I don't personally want the world to know what happens between my legs because is my business. However, all my answers seem snippy and that isn't how I want to be. Besides the, "we had sex twice in one night" thing.

Some of them know I struggled for a long time trying to have a baby and are aware of my losses, so they will assume, some may ask. However, it isn't their business and I don't want my children to bear an astrisk over their heads their entire lifetime of, "they are only here due to modern medicine." What should I say?

Its not that I mind them knowing but I don't want to be a subject of gossip (smaller city) to those that are friends of friends or aquaintainces or neighbors I hadn't talked to in 15 years etc.
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Postby kholtan » Wed Mar 04, 2009 8:42 pm

Congrats on the twins! They are amazing and no matter how they made it here they are the best things ever!

I think I may be way more layed back about this than most but it just doesn't bother me. If people talk. . .what will they really say? They wanted children so bad they did IVF? Twins only because of IVF? I just can't think of anything bad they can say. Although we do have twins in our family it's very doubtful I would have had them any other way but that is my bonus for having to endure the shots and fertility treatments.

If some people already know then I say just go into head on! Put a smile on and just let them know you aren't ashamed and that you will soon be a proud mommy of two! I try to shift the focus if it's someone I'm not comfortable talking with it about and just talk about how great twins are instead of what I had to do to get them. It was an amazing journey and I don't really ever mind sharing. You'll figure out what is best for you. Good luck! Again. . . CONGRATS!!!
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Postby woodcliff » Thu Mar 05, 2009 12:54 am

Deflect by saying "I'm having twins! Isn't it great? Just say congratulations!"
Anyone who pursues a nosy inquiry just deserves a shrug and for you to say "just be happy for me, all that matters is that we're having babies!"

Few people were nosy when I got pregnant...probably cuz I'm older (40s) and most people assume twins are IVF babies anyhow! For those who said "do they run in your family" I just nodded.

For the truly nosy you could say "my, you sure are curious about my sex life!" and leave it at that.
Now, go lie down and take care of yourself. :D
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Postby TwinMommy » Thu Mar 05, 2009 1:11 am

To be honest, I have never gotten the fertility question. People will say "oh do twins run in your family?" And I say yes, because, well, they do. However, if you do not want to say that you can always say "Well, they do now!" But I am not ashamed of IVF and if people were to really ask I would probably tell them. I think it is odd if people ask if they were IVF though because twins are not that rare!
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Postby SilverAngel679 » Thu Mar 05, 2009 1:13 am

I made a whole thread about this a while ago. I'm one of the people that are sick and tired of people wanting to know if I can have sex with my husband and concieve his children, so I answer back terrible with things. These are some of my favorites:

"We had sex twice in one night"

"Oh you wanna share stories about how our children were concieved? I'm in!! You first."

"My husband has a HUGE sperm count and a super long *&%$ to deliver the load. That's how we got twins. Any thing else you'd like to know?"

And my favorite from that thread that some one added:

"Do you douche?"

I'm sorry, but I just feel like if people are gonna be stupid enough to ask you if you or your husband "Work" properly, they should get back an answer to match their stupidity.

But that's just me, it's great that you want to be nicer about it. I'll take a page from your book when I'm in a good mood i guess =)
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Postby siouxsie » Thu Mar 05, 2009 1:19 am

We had friends that had twins via IVF and the dad used to go around saying, "We got two for the price on one." This may not be your style, but it sure did halt the questions.
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