just waiting for my repeat beta on monday. in the meantime i still have cramps and fairly strong ones, too. i am totally puzzled by that. this is day five of cramps - on and off. if the pregnancy is no good then why doesnt the bleeding just start? granted i am on PIO and that stuff is bullet proof for me. i've never bled on PIO. still - its kind of weird.
well anyway - i'll know tomorrow lunch time if my beta went down some more and they'll have me stop al the meds or, by some miracle, it went up. i just want to be out of limbo already. i've heard of women with weird betas and then there is usually no heartbeat and the baby is measuring way behind - and they never end up making it out of 1st trimester. anyway, i'll know tomorrow lunch time. i am just puzzled that's all.
this is so weird - because this is what - my 5th cycle - and no two cycles are ever alike. everytime something is different. my 1st cycle i didnt feel anything and it was a bfn.
my 2nd cycle i felt lots of twinges and it was a bfp. so after that i thought you for sure need twinges to get a bfp.
turns out maybe just my transfer was rough that time and it was my uterus healing instead.
my 3rd cycle i felt some twinges but it was an ectopic.
my 4th cycle i felt lots of twinges - just like my 2nd successful one - i was so confident i would get a bfp, that when the doc called and told me it was a negative i almost fell out of my chair with surprise. i almost went in for another beta to make sure they didnt mix up my name with someone. instead i just did an hpt at home to confirm and it confirmed a negative.
my 5th cycle - this one - i didnt feel anything either. i guess it was a really smooth transfer - no twinges, nothing. this time i was going to be prepared for the phone call so i poased. i got my faint hpts. they were faint so i didnt expect a high beta but was pleased with 66. my DS was an 80 - so i thought 66 is doable. i never thought the 2nd one would go down to 50. was not prepared for that. since i got my DS on cycle #2 i was not exposed to all the ways IVF can go wrong. boy - i was so innocent then
. i remember the doc called my husband because i was too scared to take the call. and then my husband called me and said we are pregnant. and we were very happy. when a few days later i went in for my 2nd beta and the doc said it was 200 or something - i didnt even know how lucky i was that it went up the appropriate amount. at the time i was like - well that's what it supposed to do - go up. i didnt even know all the ways it could go wrong - ectopic, chemical. the only scare i had during my first pregancy was bleeding in week 5/6. i started bleeding and for sure i thought i was losing the baby. i had cramps too. i didnt know about SH that time and that bleeding is common in ivf. and my doc also wanted to make sure i followed strict bedrest for 1 week so he put a scare in me by saying this is a threatened miscarriage and i needed to take 1 week off work. which i did and the bleed continued to get smaller and during one of the u/s to check up on the bleed the tech so a heartbeat and that''s how we came to see the heartbeat. no big anticipation, no big drama. just - there it is. man, its nice to be oblivious.
so i am very curious to see what this cycle holds for me. so far every one of them has been different. is this going to be my "chemical" cycle or is this going to be my "beta rollercoaster" cycle. i dont know. i guess i'll live through it and find out
OMG i wrote a novel here. its kind of nice to get it in writing like this - i should save it somewhere for me to read 10 years from now.