SHOCK ENDING!

Announcement of pregnancy and birth following assisted reproductive treatment.
caroline
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SHOCK ENDING!

Post by caroline » Sun Mar 14, 2004 12:24 pm

Dear all,

I just thought I would do a quick post to let you all know my very sad news.

My baby was due on 5th March. She arrived 3 days late on 8th March, but she was stillborn. We named her Amy Sarah. She was a very healthly weight of 8lbs 6oz, which makes the whole thing worse. If she had been very small or premature, it might have been easier to accept. I had thought that as I was nearing my due date that I was "safe". It just goes to show that you should take nothing for granted.

I hadn't been ill or done anything out of the ordinary, she just died. Initial investigations show that the placenta most probably failed, but they don't know why.

Dh and I are devastated and still very numb. Of all the things that could have gone wrong during my pregnancy, we never even thought of stillbirth.

After trying for so long and going though 4 cycles of treatment, it all seems so cruel.

We are having a small family funeral for her at the end of this week. Not sure yet how we are going to get through this.

love
Caroline
xx

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caz1
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Post by caz1 » Sun Mar 14, 2004 12:57 pm

Caroline
I just dont know what to say. Cant imagine how you and your family must be feeling and coping. To have gone through so much and then to have this happen.

At least you know you have a very special angel always looking out for you.

I know it sounds a terrible cliche but time is a healer - take plenty of it, Lean on EVERYBODY, thats what friends and family are for. They (and we ) are all with you.

Its maybe too early - but there are councellors and groups that may offer some support -at least you can talk to people who have been through what you have been through, and can understand

I dont know if its any help - but after very complicated miscarriages/ ectopics, my mother had a baby die at 3 weeks (heart disease) - she said she thought at the time that she would never get over it and certainly never be able to put herself thru it again - but in time the pain softened - the maternal instinct kicked in again and she went on to have me. I can tell you its was all VERY complicated , the doctors told her she should never get pregnant again - but she did and in the end there was a happy ending. Its must have been HER little angel watching out for her.....

I really believe this

Take care of yourself

Cazx

Dagny
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Post by Dagny » Sun Mar 14, 2004 1:04 pm

Oh Caroline

My heart is so going out to you and your DH. I have just logged on for the first time in a few days to read this very tragic news. You must be so devestated to go to your due date and have this happen. I don't know if you saw my posts over the last couple of weeks as I lost my precious daughter, Katelyn at 24 weeks pg two weeks ago and we buried her on Thursday. Even though she was terribly premature it doesn't make it easier believe me. We had 3 cycles before falling with her and I will never understand why we had this happen after all we had been through.

Words just can't console you at the moment as they couldn't console me. It is just so cruel that mother nature has these plans for some of us. I am still asking myself why this had to happen as I am sure you are too. I know what you are going through as do a number of us on this forum. Tracey S has been a wonderful support for me over the weeks and if you need anything we are here for you.

Amy Sarah is a beautiful name and I hope you get through her funeral as best you can. I didn't know how I would get through Katelyn's funeral but you just do in a strange kind of way. It was all very surreal.

People tell you that time is a great healer and I suppose it is but right now life just seems to stand still. You have to take each day as it comes and face up to it all. It's so hard - I am hoping it will start to get easier.

You and your DH are in my thoughts and I will say a prayer for Amy when I pray for Katelyn. Feel free to email me when you feel you are up to it. We need all the support we can at times like these. Have you been put in touch with SANDS - Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society? They have been excellent to me and it is run by people who have all been through it. They really do understand.

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I am so shocked too. It's just not fair for anyone to have to go through.

God Bless you and your family especially Amy.

With much love Dagny and David xx

diane30
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Post by diane30 » Sun Mar 14, 2004 1:46 pm

i am so sorry to hear your sad news i cant belive it you think you are safe when you get to late pregnancy

i really dont no what to say only that my heart goes out to you and your dh

love
diane

Zed2003
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Post by Zed2003 » Sun Mar 14, 2004 2:03 pm

Caroline and dh,

I am so very, very sorry to be reading your post. There is precious little that anyone can say to you both at this very sad time, but we are all thinking of you both as well as little Amy Sarah who will always stay in your hearts.

Take care of each other
Zoe x

alisonn
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Post by alisonn » Sun Mar 14, 2004 3:49 pm

caroline and dh, words cannot express the sadness i felt after reading
your post, my thoughts will be with u this week.
alisonn xx

Nikola
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Post by Nikola » Sun Mar 14, 2004 3:58 pm

Caroline

I'm so so sorry to read your tragic news. I really don't know what to say, I'm totally devastated for you and your dh and can't begin to imagine what you must be going through.

As you say in your post, we all deal with so much to get pregnant it is very very cruel to then deal with having your baby taking away from you at birth.

Amy Sarah is a beautiful name and I'm sure your daughter was very beautiful too. I'll be thinking of you over the next few days and hope you find the strength to get through the funeral.

With lots of love
nikola.xx

Tracey S
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Post by Tracey S » Sun Mar 14, 2004 4:39 pm

Caroline

I just don't know what to say and experience from losing our precious Oliver tells me nothing I say will change anything or make a jot of difference but wanted to let me know my thoughts are with you........
I just did not expect this and always sets me off on a flap!

What a truly beautiful name for a special daughter. My thoughts are with you at this devasting time
Love
Tracey
xxx
ttc 9 years. 38 yrs old, dh 8 hrs younger!First IVF in Aug 2002 and had ectopic.2nd IVF neg.3rd FET and negative.4th FET and positive but sadly lost our little boy at 20 weeks.5th FET and Alice Isobel and Emily Charlotte born 5th Aug 2004!

DebraP
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Post by DebraP » Sun Mar 14, 2004 8:13 pm

Caroline, I am so so sorry to read of Amy Sarah's death. Nothing anyone can say will help right now, but know that there are many women on this board thinking and praying for you and DH to get through this terrible ordeal.

love
Debra.

Jules R
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Post by Jules R » Sun Mar 14, 2004 8:43 pm

Caroline,

I am so sorry to read your news. You gave your daughter a beautiful name and it is a terrible tragedy that you were never able to spend time with your beautiful daughter. You, your DH and Amy Sarah are in our thoughts and we'll be thinking of you all next week when you lay your little angel to rest.

Jules
TTC 5 years. Daniel & Charlotte born 22.03.02, 1st ICSI treatment. TTC for 4 further years. 2nd ICSI cycle abandoned, 3rd cycle BFN. Looking forward to being a happy family of 4.

alison p
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Post by alison p » Mon Mar 15, 2004 10:24 am

Dear Caroline,

I cann't imagine what you and your husband are going through at the moment. I've come to learn that life is so cruel sometimes. My thoughts are with you, as I'm sure are all the people on this site,

Alison xx

Helen Reid
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Post by Helen Reid » Mon Mar 15, 2004 1:58 pm

Caroline

I cannot believe that life can be so cruel. I could never understand what you and your dh are going through.
You have given your daughter a beautiful name.

Helen
Age 27
I.V.F started in 2001. 1st cycle +ve mc nov 2001 at 12 weeks. Fet mar 2002 +ve then -ve.
2nd cycle +ve eptopic oct 2002 6 weeks.
fet mar 2003 -ve. 3rd cycle over stimulated embies frozen. Fet nov 2003 +ve due 11/8/04.

bertie
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Post by bertie » Mon Mar 15, 2004 3:20 pm

Caroline
I am so sorry for your loss. We never imagine things like this can happen when we are at the end. My thoughts are with you and your dh.
I am so sorry.
luv Bertie x

Grace
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Post by Grace » Mon Mar 15, 2004 3:38 pm

Dear Caroline

Words truly fail me. I cannot understand how life can be so incredibly cruel. You and your husband and your precious little girl are very much in my thoughts.
Gracexxx

phil
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Post by phil » Mon Mar 15, 2004 5:34 pm

caroline, i am so sorry and deeply saddend by your loss of Amy Sarah. you are all in my prayers.

phil

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