Announcement of pregnancy and birth following assisted reproductive treatment.
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Again, we would just like to convey all our thanks to everybody for all their messages of support and condolence. You are all so wonderful.
Well, we had Katelyn's funeral on Thursday and it was such a beautiful and difficult service but I would like to share it with you all if thats ok?
At 1.30pm Katelyn came home. Her casket was so small and pure white with our flowers on the top. The flowers were baby pink roses, snowdrops, babys breath (gyp) and pure white feathers. We followed her in the car to the church where we went in before everybody else arrived. Katelyn's casket was put at the front of the church on the chancel steps on a small table. David and I didn't want a procession into the church with eveyone looking at us so we sat at the front while they all arrived. We had the haunting but beautiful music of Allegri Miserere-Miserere Mei, Deus playing as our friends and family came in. Each person was given a small tea light candle to light as they came in and placed it round the table that Katelyn was on. We had bought a lovely rose scented candle with pink roses in the wax and when everyboby had arrived David and I lit her candle and put it on her table next to her casket.
At 2pm the service began. Our vicar said some prayers and readings and then my Aunt read a beautiful poem. My brother had written and played a lovely piece of music called 'For Katelyn' which was played and then another poem which I had written that morning was read out. The glow from all the tealights round Katelyn's casket was so lovely and I will never forget what it looked like. I will have it in my memory forever.
Our Angel Katelyn
Our child so innocent and pure,
so beautiful and so small.
Why did God have to take you away?
It makes no sense at all.
We never heard your tiny cry,
or see your beautiful smile.
But we take comfort in,
that you were ours, at least for a little while.
Our baby's life was so precious
but it ended all too fast,
and when God decides to take us too
we can be together at last.
We love you our darling Katelyn,
you will be missed every day.
You are an angel in heaven now,
Oh, why did God take you away.
Goodbye our baby Katelyn,
the time has come for you to go.
We will never, ever forget you,
and remember we love you so.
Katelyn was then carried out to the plot we had chosen for her and her tiny casket was lowered in. This was so hard to watch but I felt a sense of calm knowing that she would soon be with God and past family members where hopefully she will be looked after like the princess that she was. We put some roses and snowdrops on her casket and said more prayers. We looked at all the wonderful flowrers that people had sent and then we all went back to a hotel in Reigate for afternoon tea. It was so cold but at least the rain held off.
About 40 friends and family came to support us and say farewell to Katelyn and we were so touched that so many came. Even some of the staff from the hospital and SANDS came too.
We had afternoon tea, sandwiches and cake and on the tables bud vases with roses in. There was a small table in the big fireplace with a photo of Katelyn, her teddy, a bunch of roses and another candle like her one in the church burning. Everyone thought that Katelyn was beautiful and said she just looked like she was asleep. The photo didn't really show how very small she was.
The whole day was very draining and so hard but we got through it and by the evening we were shattered. It started to snow hard later on and I got really upset but then thought, no, snow is pure and so was Katelyn so it seemed quite fitting even though I felt like going to her grave with a blanket to keep her warm.
My Mum and Dad stayed at the hotel so David and I had the evening to ourselves for quiet reflection. We just hugged and cried and went to sleep. I don't know what I would do without him, he is my rock.
I don't know how long it will take me to start to move forward. Each day seems like a hill to climb but hopefully in time things will start to get easier. I have the occasional positive moment and then I remember that I should still be pregnant and have Katelyn safe and sound in my tummy and then I get really down again. We are praying it will get better soon.
Thank you for listening. I just wanted to share this day with all my good cyber buddies. Hope that you are all well.
Love Dagny xx
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Thank you Dagny and dh, for sharing this with us all-your poem is beautiful, just like I''m sure your litle girl was. We were all with you in spirit on Thursday and it sounds like it was a beautiful service. You sound like you are braving dealing with this horrible situation - keep finding comfort in each other...
Thinking of you
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what a wonderful poem, i just cant imagine how you both felt, now u can
take time to mourn, katelyn is now at pece, and i believe will be looked after in heven.
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What a beautiful posting. Your poem was perfect - it must have been very hard to write. I'm pleased the day was just as you wanted, it sounded very dignified and elegant, just what Katelyn deserved.
It doesn't matter what the weather is like outside because she is in heaven now and she will always be in your heart - so she will always be safe and warm.
I was so incredibly moved by your message, as I am with all your emails too. You are one very special lady and my thoughts and love are with you and David!
Lots of love
your special friend
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Thank you for letting us know how it went and how you all are. I was thinking of you all day and since.......... I felt a great sense of Calm after Oliver's funeral and glad you feel the same after Katelyn's - it all sounds perfect and gracious and dignified just as it should.
You know where I am if you need me
ttc 9 years. 38 yrs old, dh 8 hrs younger!First IVF in Aug 2002 and had ectopic.2nd IVF neg.3rd FET and negative.4th FET and positive but sadly lost our little boy at 20 weeks.5th FET and Alice Isobel and Emily Charlotte born 5th Aug 2004!
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Dagny, thank you for posting the details of Katelyn's funeral. It sounds like a beautiful service and a very gentle way of saying goodbye to your baby.
Thank you again, and thinking of you.
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What a beautiful post from you. Your precious little girl had such a lovely farewell that it seems even more of a tragedy that she is not here with you now. As always you have been so dignified about your loss and I have immense respect for the way you are dealing with your loss.
Our love to you and David.
TTC 5 years. Daniel & Charlotte born 22.03.02, 1st ICSI treatment. TTC for 4 further years. 2nd ICSI cycle abandoned, 3rd cycle BFN. Looking forward to being a happy family of 4.
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I'm afrraid I haven't been on here for a while, so haven't sent my condolenses before now. I was very touched by your poem - it was so very beautiful. You and your husband sound very brave and I hope that you will now be able to look forward and somehow comes to terms with this terrible tragedy. Life throws up some terrible things.
My thoughts are with you,
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I thought your poem was so beautiful, that day sounded so sad i cannot imagine what you went through and still are going through. The service sounds so special. You and David sound really brave and i hope as every day passes it gets a little easier.
Take care of each other
I.V.F started in 2001. 1st cycle +ve mc nov 2001 at 12 weeks. Fet mar 2002 +ve then -ve.
2nd cycle +ve eptopic oct 2002 6 weeks.
fet mar 2003 -ve. 3rd cycle over stimulated embies frozen. Fet nov 2003 +ve due 11/8/04.
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Your poem was wonderful. The day sounds like it was a beautiful day for a beautiful girl. My heart goes out to you and David. You were in my thoughts all day Thursday and since.
luv Bertie x
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my thoughts and prayers are with you and David during this very dfficult time
Regards Magnus x
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Thank you for describing so movingly your farewell to baby Katelyn.
As the other girls have said it sounded so beautiful, dignified and fitting for such a precious little one.
I am thinking of you.
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Dagny and David,
your words describe such a beautiful and peaceful farewell to Katelyn. thank-you for sharing the day with us. i'm sure that right now everyday is as painful as the day before and no words i express can make it easier. i wish they could.
Dagny, David and Katelyn you are all in my prayers and thoughts.
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Thank you for sharing Katelyns beautiful service with us. It sounds as if it was a befitting service for such a precious and beautiful little girl.
I can't imagine how anything can be worse than what you and David have been through, you both sound like amazingly strong people.
Take care of yourselves
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Thank you for sharing that. It sounded like a most beautiful and moving service and farewell to Katalyn.
Take time to grieve and recouperate as you need to and take comfort in each other.
Take care and thinking of you lots.